Having an aversion to sharing.....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 113
Having an aversion to sharing.....
Hi, was just wondering does anyone have an aversion to sharing. I always want to just deal with it myself. I am a very private person. I really have to force myself to share how I'm feeling, what I'm struggling with. I do suffer from social anxiety disorder so I am sure that plays a part. I usually just keep things to myself and then inadvertently go drinking again. It really makes things all that harder, like it's not hard enough.
I presently go to AA and I have received numbers of people to ring when I get urges and I never do. I just grin and bear it or act on the urges. I usually just lurk on this site and at least get the comfort of knowing I am not alone in this giant mess. I am presently 3days sober and completely miserable. I have no life, I have no friends. I am on the verge of getting kicked out of my house because I cannot stop drinking. Well at least I am sharing now I guess. I am glad to have this site. Thanks.
I presently go to AA and I have received numbers of people to ring when I get urges and I never do. I just grin and bear it or act on the urges. I usually just lurk on this site and at least get the comfort of knowing I am not alone in this giant mess. I am presently 3days sober and completely miserable. I have no life, I have no friends. I am on the verge of getting kicked out of my house because I cannot stop drinking. Well at least I am sharing now I guess. I am glad to have this site. Thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 113
Originally Posted by Mags1 
Hi Robert, I find it easier to talk on here than to people face to face. It feels better for me too, once I've wrote it out.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 4,580
Hi Robert. Thank you so much for sharing here. It was only yesterday I realized that despite an ability to natter my face off bout nothing to anyone, I think I have a real hard time verbally expressing "the hard stuff"...my real feelings...the real me stuff..the stuff where I feel weak and vulnerable. (It can even be hard here but waaaay easier).
I only realized this as I realized I had to have a hard conversation with my SO and as I was playing the conversation through in my head...my ole AV popped up and offered "well, a drink or two would make that conversation a lot easier". I then realized how often the idea of drinks come into play when I have to have "hard" conversations which are typically in intimate relationships for me. It really surprised me to realize this as some would describe me as a "people person".
So I guess I'm okay yammering behind some sort of "together facade"..
but the real me seems to feel she needs a drink for the tough stuff or she basically keeps it to herself (in 3D world).
"Real sharing" is hard for me too ..and is usually accompanied by tremendous anxiety therefore I typically shut up bout the hard stuff...let it slide.
It's not a good thing I'm thinking...and whoever it is I hide behind the drink gets very little airtime in real world.
I hope you are able to keep sharing here...it's important and there are wonderful, caring souls here who understand.
Congratulations on 3 days sober my friend. Keep breathing, keep posting, keep reading, keep sharing here, keep taking it a moment..a situation at a time.
Folks here honestly understand.
I only realized this as I realized I had to have a hard conversation with my SO and as I was playing the conversation through in my head...my ole AV popped up and offered "well, a drink or two would make that conversation a lot easier". I then realized how often the idea of drinks come into play when I have to have "hard" conversations which are typically in intimate relationships for me. It really surprised me to realize this as some would describe me as a "people person".
So I guess I'm okay yammering behind some sort of "together facade"..
but the real me seems to feel she needs a drink for the tough stuff or she basically keeps it to herself (in 3D world).
"Real sharing" is hard for me too ..and is usually accompanied by tremendous anxiety therefore I typically shut up bout the hard stuff...let it slide.
It's not a good thing I'm thinking...and whoever it is I hide behind the drink gets very little airtime in real world.
I hope you are able to keep sharing here...it's important and there are wonderful, caring souls here who understand.
Congratulations on 3 days sober my friend. Keep breathing, keep posting, keep reading, keep sharing here, keep taking it a moment..a situation at a time.
Folks here honestly understand.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
Ive learned early in recovery that I don't
have to air out my dirty laundry so to speak
out in public or in meetings, even on here. If
I have personal things that really bother me,
I learned to take them to a sponsor or a
priest, or someone, one person I feel comfortable
sharing with.
In doing so, I don't have to carry all those
burdens, heavy cross on my shoulders that
soon became so heavy on me that it was
affecting my mind, body and soul.
In meetings and recovery we learn thru
a program of recovery to carry the message
of hope to others still suffering with addiction
like I was and needed to hear other members
share their own ESH - experiences, strengths
and hopes of what their life was and is like
before, during and after alcohol or drugs.
For a long long time I did not speak
in meetings because I was afraid I didn't
learn the lesson for the day. That I didn't
do my homework to share with the class.
So, I was told it was okay to listen and
absorb and when the time was right to
share that I would know it. Sure enough
it did happen. I don't recall what I shared
and that's okay too because it was shared
from my heart.
Every now and then in meetings I would
ask if I could read How It Works which
would give me confidence to say something
in my meetings and that boosted my self-
esteem.
Recovery is a journey and takes time to
travel on. All along the way we are learning,
teaching, helping one another so that no one
has to be alone in anything they do. Especially
when it comes to not drinking.
Social anxiety is experiences by many, including'
myself. I was afraid of not wanting anyone to know
about me and things I did when I was drinking.
In time, I realized just by listening to many that
we have all done similar to same things when under
the enfluence and we didn't have to do those
things anymore once we stopped drinking or using.
Once we get off the merry go round of addiction,
we never have to get on it again.
Welcome..!!!
have to air out my dirty laundry so to speak
out in public or in meetings, even on here. If
I have personal things that really bother me,
I learned to take them to a sponsor or a
priest, or someone, one person I feel comfortable
sharing with.
In doing so, I don't have to carry all those
burdens, heavy cross on my shoulders that
soon became so heavy on me that it was
affecting my mind, body and soul.
In meetings and recovery we learn thru
a program of recovery to carry the message
of hope to others still suffering with addiction
like I was and needed to hear other members
share their own ESH - experiences, strengths
and hopes of what their life was and is like
before, during and after alcohol or drugs.
For a long long time I did not speak
in meetings because I was afraid I didn't
learn the lesson for the day. That I didn't
do my homework to share with the class.
So, I was told it was okay to listen and
absorb and when the time was right to
share that I would know it. Sure enough
it did happen. I don't recall what I shared
and that's okay too because it was shared
from my heart.
Every now and then in meetings I would
ask if I could read How It Works which
would give me confidence to say something
in my meetings and that boosted my self-
esteem.
Recovery is a journey and takes time to
travel on. All along the way we are learning,
teaching, helping one another so that no one
has to be alone in anything they do. Especially
when it comes to not drinking.
Social anxiety is experiences by many, including'
myself. I was afraid of not wanting anyone to know
about me and things I did when I was drinking.
In time, I realized just by listening to many that
we have all done similar to same things when under
the enfluence and we didn't have to do those
things anymore once we stopped drinking or using.
Once we get off the merry go round of addiction,
we never have to get on it again.
Welcome..!!!
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