inpieces314

...and it was awesome. I met the ABF's family, they were awesome. They treated me better than my own family does. And the twin brother, I thought it would be weird seeing him, but no, it was like we knew each other already. Probably some weird psychic twin thing.

It was emotional, but I needed to do it, and I am glad I went, and I am planning another trip with the kids later this summer. And I am moving-after that trip, I definitely want to move out there. I know things won't be like they were went I just went for a few days, but that is okay-I plan on being busy (as I am here anyway) with law school/kids/work so I won't have time to deal with the drama.

And I will be able to visit the ABF. My mom told me it doesn't matter where he is buried, he is with me, but I think she is wrong. I can feel him here, but out there, it's totally different. He really IS there, I felt him everywhere, or maybe it's because I was with the only other people on the face of the planet who gave an F that he died. I didn't feel ashamed talking about him like I do here. I didn't feel bad about remembering stuff (good and bad) like I do here.

I have been having a hard time since I got back. My neighbor got on me last night about the kids, and how it's all my fault, the 7 year old doesn't need to be on medication (yes, he does, and in order to get it, the school and his doctor had to sign off as well as me) and I should give him up for adoption because I hate him anyway. THIS is the stuff I am talking about that I would not have to deal with if I left. She seems to forget, we lost a major part of our lives, and just because SHE doesn't have to worry about anything, my son lost his father-duh, he is going to be affected.

It's so annoying how people are so willing to judge when they would be totally lost in your shoes. That was kind of a tangent, sorry, but all I could think of last night was, "I came back for THIS?!" when it was a struggle for me to come back in the first place.

hopeful4

Hello! I am glad the trip was good! That is great news.

There will always be toxic people. As I have always said, you cannot control how they act, but you can control how you react. Cut the toxic out of your life completely. You have enough on your plate. Go forward and do what you can for you and your family to be healthy and happy, no matter where that lands you

Tight Hugs!

lillamy

I'm glad the trip was a good one -- and what on EARTH is up with your neighbor??? Not even my closest friends would have the cajones to tell me whether or not my child needs to be on medication -- a neighbor doing that sounds like a person with some serious boundary issues...

I'm glad his family and you are on good terms. Good luck with the move!

inpieces314

He has ADHD and it took me years to get him on medication. Even with it, he still is failing first grade due to attention problems. So I said I went to the doctor and got him some kid sleeping pill (the doctor suggested it) because he has a horrible attitude now, and chances are it's because he doesn't go to bed until like 2am and I have to get him up at 5. So the neighbor says she doesn't even know why he is on it at all, he doesn't need it (mind you, she has never seen him NOT medicated, he's been on it since December), and it's my fault anyway because all I do is yell at him. No, I do yell at him a lot, but he doesn't listen to me, and by the time he comes home, the medication is worn off, so we both get frustrated.

And I agree, it's not her place AT ALL. I helped her out with food (and her 3 year old daughter), I gave her a hundred bucks, and I made sure she was taken care of BEFORE I went on the trip so they wouldn't starve. She needs something, she calls, I give it to her. The only interaction her kid has is with my two kids, and they don't need her, they have each other. I actually felt bad about moving because who would her daughter play with? I KNOW she is not talking to me like this and then expects something else out of me. She won't see me or the kids again, we will just hide in the house.

Refiner

Let alone saying to give up for adoption, W.O.W.! Wishing you the best, inpieces!!

inpieces314

Thanks...I was really upset. It's the first time since the ABF died that I wanted to call him to tell him to cuss her out...then I remembered.

Then I was going to call the brother, we have been talking since I got back, but I am afraid I may be going down a road I don't want to go down by talking to him all the time...does that make sense?

CodeJob

I am so grateful your trip went well!

Seren

I'm very happy to hear that the trip went well! Sorry about the neighbor...that is a lot of nerve and unneeded advice from someone who has no business offering it.

Rest, recoup, keep doing the next right thing for you and your family.