MsKilla

Hi all, i am on my first day after a 5 yr drug abuse. I have never tried to get clean before, and im also a closet junkie/functional addict, so no one knows what im going through. Im w/d really bad right now, and really just need to talk, someone please help me!!! I truly feel as if im going to lose my mind soon.....

LBrain

is this your first attempt?

PurpleKnight

Hey MsKilla, Welcome to the Forum!! you'll find loads of support and advice here!!

MsKilla

Lbrain, yes it is.

JimJim

I'm all ears MsKilla. Many others here are the same too. You have found a great place, I would definitely recommend reading around. You will find there are many that feel exactly how you do right now.

MsKilla

Ty so much jim jim, lol i really feel as if im losing my mind, plus im w/d so bad, i've never felt this bad in my life..... the worst part is i just keep thinking, if i just went and got a little bit, then i wouldnt feel so bad, but i dont want to be that person anymore, im really just trying to stay strong.

changeiscoming

IF you went a got alittle bit you woud have to start over. Try getting through an hour at a time - that helped me.

four812

If you went to get a little bit then you would probably want more and more.

Hang on!

Gonnachange

It's 2 PM in MD. Try to get to 3 PM. Rinse and repeat. It's what I'm doing.

ScottFromWI

Day 1 one is tough - do you have someone around for help if you need it MsKilla? Withdrawals can be potentially dangerous if you are quitting cold turkey, please be safe. Know that it will pass though - and drinking even just a little re-starts the clock on detoxing.

flyingvacant

I hope all is well -- its hard... have you considered counselling / treatment? Do you have a family? How old are you? I'm 20 years old, female, in the hospital on suicide watch. Drugs ruined my life. Almost lost custody of my daughter. Getting counselling and doing the paperwork to go to treatment center.

MsKilla

Scottfromwi unfortunately i am on my own... but im not w/d from alcoho, its from heroin uunfortunately. thank u though, i keep telling myself that. As well

JimJim

Alcohol is my cross to bear too Mskilla. You might relate here? http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#drug-addiction

MsKilla

Flyingvacant im trying to find a program on a sliding scale, because i have no insurance, and for that reason most of the places around here wont even help me, they just want to put me on methadone, but i dont want to just trade one for another, you know?! My family doesnt know, ive been a functional addict. Im 27. Im so sorry for everything thats happened to you!!! I MOST DEFINITELY understand hpw u feel. Im glad you're getting help tho. Youll b in my prayers. U shud keep in touch with me!

MsKilla

Thanks jim jim, ill try there next, much appreciated

phoebe64

Do be safe, MsKilla. Call or get help if you are very sick. An emergency room cannot turn you away. It might help just to get detoxed.

MsKilla

Is that true, the er cant send u away??? I may have to, im a little nervous, ive been puckeing and the other end as well. Also i dont understand how i can be drenched in sweat but shivering cold at the same time. Is that normal?!

MsKilla

Ps thank you very much rochele

ScottFromWI

I am not familiar with Heroin, my DOC was Alcohol - sorry for the confusion. It is correct that an ER cannot turn you away if you have a medical emergency. It sounds like you aren't feeling very well - don't rule it out as an option if you feel you need it. It's much better to be safe than sorry. ER's deal with this type of thing regularly too - so they have seen withdrawals before and know how to help.

phoebe64

I have not done street drugs, or heroin, but I do know withdrawal can be very serious and a health risk. I do not think an emergency room can turn you away if you are sick and detoxing. Especially if you go to a large urban hospital.