kidden

So AH is texting sending suicide threats, not sure how I respond to this? He's not in recovery and has been drinking a lot. Have been having very little contact, now this.

ResignedToWait

Easiest question to answer ever!

(Not making light of the situation, or implying that it's not a very important issue)

But...call 911. Explain that your spouse is "making suicidal gestures via text message".

Don't even think about it...just do it. You just might be making him angry for "getting in his business", but it's also possible you might be saving his life. Call.

Stoogy

You have to call 911, these things should always be treated this way regardless of whatever situations are going on around it.
Make the call and you will feel better.

Croissant

Agree. Let the professionals do a mental health assessment. They see this a lot and are trained for this.

hopeful4

I work with a friend who has a nephew that just committed suicide. He sent a text to his girlfriend and she did not tell anyone.

Call. Don't try to intervene yourself as if he is bluffing he will do this continually. By calling 911 you will either save him or you will keep him from doing this to you over and over.

So so sorry you are going through this.

Big hugs.

kidden

Thanks so much I know it seemed like a stupid question, have phoned, and now I'm waiting to hear the outcome. God I just want this to stop. I thought it would stop when he left the house, it just goes on and on and on

unsureoffuture

Always take the threats seriously. You never know if it is real or for attention But, if you report it the authorities will determine that. It could save his life.

ResignedToWait

So glad to hear you made the call. I'm sure it wasn't easy to do, but you did the right thing!

Worried0810

The same thing happened to my mum after she split with her XABF who drank three bottles of wine a night. They split, and moved into separate flats. He then sent a text saying that he was coming round and he was going to kill himself in front of her. So she called the police.
They came round after speaking to him. He had only did it for attention, he had no intention of harming himself. But - they made him delete her number from his phone and she blocked him on Facebook so he could not contact her. You need to do the same.
Well done for phoning the police, but block his number and any other way he has of contacting you. If you have kids etc. they are better off with you than with a man who threatens suicide - whether he is serious or not. If not, you are better off not speaking to him at all.

Hawkeye13

I agree with Worried--delete the number and go totally NC

Thumper

I'm glad you called.

Hang in there. It does eventually stop. Going no contact helps A LOT. I agree with the suggestion to go full on no contact. I had to communicate about kids and divorce details but went as no contact as I could. If you need to communicate do it via email so that it isn't immediate and ignore every word that is not pertinent. It gets easier to do that. Set up an email account that only he uses. Do not connect it to your phone. If needed you can also have one trusted person that reads the emails before you do so they can delete out all the non-pertinent crazy.

Gonnachange

Glad to read that you made the call.

Sadie33

Just wanted to add that I'm glad you made the call. My AH did the same thing to me once. He was very serious and did take an entire bottle of pills.

hopeful4

Good for you. You have done the right thing. I agree, no contact is best, but do take suicide threats seriously, not by rushing in yourself, but by doing what you did, call 911.

Big Hugs.

DG0409

I agree with others that calling 911 is the right response. If he is serious, then you aren't qualified to handle it and you don't want to take any chances.

It seems like a lot of the time people like that threaten suicide as a manipulation tactic. He was likely trying to get you to show him attention or manipulate you into getting back together with him. Calling 911 lets him know that it's not going to work.

I wish I'd known that when my ex threatened suicide... I fell for it and felt that I had to stick around to support him emotionally. It makes me feel angry, used and manipulated when I think of it. I was a really caring person and he took advantage of that.

Thumper

Yes - the threats are either a) serious - in which case of course one would be very glad they called or b) manipulative in which case a mental health check up might stop that particular form of manipulation which is a win for the person that called. It is heinous to put someone through that just to manipulate them.

My ex 'toyed' with that threat. He was trying to convince me to let him stay and he said something like "I can't live without you and the kids what would you do if I said that and was already gone." I was such a waffler with some of the buttons he knew to push but on that one I told him without hesitation that I would call 911 in a blind instant and he knew I meant it. He worked at the mental health hospital so he knew exactly what would happen if I called in a suicide threat and he wanted no part of it. If only I could have been/would have been so cut and dried with all the other buttons he pushed life would have been much easier for me and and probably even him in the long run.

NWGRITS

Just dropping off (((hugs))) since the advice part has been covered.

lillamy

Good for you for making the call.
In my experience, if he really was suicidal, he will get the help he needs.
If he was only trying to get your attention, he will know now that any time he tries that again, you will call 911.

Either way, you are doing the right thing.

kidden

Thanks everyone, turns out it was a threat, just another manipulation technique, however he was taken to the hospital so no doubt I'll be facing another barrage of abuse - lucky I'm having his number blocked today from all my phones! I can't thank you all enough for being there for me.

hopeful4

kidden.....I don't even know what to say. I am not surprised at all but I think you set down a really good boundary and showed him what you plan to do. Don't accept any abuse at all, you did the right thing!

XXX Stay Strong!