Chilledice

Cravings are back this evening, cant seem to get the past out of my mind today, cant stop obsessing about the people I have hurt, past relationship that I messed up, gone nowhere in life etc its making me crave for a few drinks to get it off my mind! Im on day 12 and I don't wanna throw it away but the thoughts wont stop and then the sadness comes and arrrrrrrrgh

changeiscoming

Don't throw it away - it wont be worth it tomorrow. It is hard to drop the guilt but focus on the here and now - nothing in the past can be changed - you can only handle it differently going forward. Think of how good you will feel tomorrow when these feelings have passed and you wake up without a hangover and regrets. You can do it! Take a walk, eat some sweets, read a book, do a puzzle, watch a movie..

Try18

I bet you have never woken up in the morning and thought "Jee I wish I had that drink last night." But consider how you've felt when you have beaten the cravings and not picked up ... waking up grateful with a clear head and no guilt and shame and dread!

Drinking will just create more heartache for you and your loved ones, and it isn't worth it. Fast forward the tape to the end and think of the inevitable consequences.

You're doing great - keep it up! Do something kind for yourself tonight. Have a nice bath, put on a film, call a friend, post on SR (!). Something healthy to distract you. Stay strong!

Nonsensical

The AV is a merciless manipulator. Worse than any tantrum-throwing two-year old. It knows everything about us and will exploit any weakness to get what it wants. It hates to be ignored.

Go do something else. Let it hate today.

You can do this.

Chilledice

I know if I drink tomorrow will be day 1 and I will regret it, just need to take my mind off of the darn booze! Im goona hang on in there just needed to vent! Thanks for listening

tuesdayschild

Some days it just is bad. My ex is coming today to spend a week (for business... why I said he could stay here beats me). But the whole two years I was with him I drank til I passed out, even though he is no drinker and never recriminated me. Still, after only a week sober his arrival has me in a tailspin.

I will be thinking of you tonight and your struggle with today and I am hoping it will help me with mine. Thank you for posting.

Aellyce

Hi Chilledice,

I'm over 4 months sober and still get intense cravings sometimes. What I've learned about mine is that there are mainly two types:
1. that may be similar to what you are describing, that starts with obsessing about something else (I don't tend to obsess much about past things directly, but sometimes I project them onto the present), or
2. what seems totally random, without cognitive source or trigger, probably primarily physiological.

What seems to work for me depends on the source. If the cravings are triggered by some other obsessive thinking, I need to work on neutralizing that thinking. In this case, SR is wonderful, for example - just post a thread or hook up with others' posts and respond to topics that occupy my mind also. Or go to a meeting and listen to/talk with others, if that's your thing. See a therapist and talk to them about what bothers you and triggers a cascade of unhealthy thought patterns.

The second kind especially: I truly believe those random mysterious urges are just physiological fluctuations in my body and brain, so I try to respond to them the same way and change my physiological state. Have a good meal, go for a walk, exercise, etc.

For a while I was wondering about this whole thing, especially reading in many posts that some people did not experience any more urges after 1-2 months. Like, why do I? But seeing a larger variety of individual experiences, it seems like there are many of us who continue having these cravings for a longer period of time. So by now I've just accepted I will probably be one of these. Oh well.

So again, I think it's good to respond to them with some sort of constructive action (and not going to a bar or the liquor store).

Good luck, I know how you feel... it'll get better, I believe in that

SoberHoopsFan

Go exercise, or do something constructive. Drinking will make these feelings far worse when you wake up tomorrow.

HeadLump

You know you can't change what's happened, Chilled, but you can learn from it and you can change you

For me, one of the very best things about sobriety has been my ability to forgive myself. I don't condone anything I did, but I've shown myself and others how truly sorry I am by remaining sober. And, do you know, others have been far more understanding and forgiving than I ever thought possible. The hardest judge was me.

You're doing so well in your sobriety, Chilled. You've already passed some major tests and I reckon you're already on your way to changing. If you weren't the decent person you clearly are, you wouldn't give a hoot about the past!

Dee74

How are you doing now chilledice?

D

Chilledice

I didn't cave but had to get out of the house, soooooooo I know you wont like it but went to the pub with my mates, had an awesome laugh and believe it or not drank 2 j20's with lemonade and a bottle of water didn't even feel tempted in the slightest it was weird!

Dee74

Doesn't matter what I like or not chilledice...

just don't get over confident like I did...I would go to pubs and be all smug I didn't drink...until I did.

D

Chilledice

I took £10 out with me and £5 in my back pocket for a taxi incase I suddenly felt like drinking, I made sure I had a quick exit out of there, however I will take your words into consideration as I am so new to sobriety

WillB

Hang in there chilledice.