story74

It is funny, pre addict life I knew what was right. I lived in normal. Now, it is sometimes so difficult to navigate what is right, what is fair. It is so gray, even murky.

I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want my son to get hurt, but it has gotten so complicated dealing with the addicts family who , last heard, were in denial. It is really hard for anyone who hasn't lived it to understand, but I can't have my son around people who are in denial. I find this to become a mixed message for my son...who is very bright. So, I have to deal with an addict who refuses to accept responsibility for his actions and do anything I ask. He has nothing but contempt for me. He has been missing for a year in a half and thinks can just skip talking to me and just immediately talk to my son with no explanation. Now his family is pushing me. There is just all these demands being placed upon me, but no consideration about either my sons feelings or my own. I feel so disrespected constantly which pains me because I bust my a@@ raising my son to have integrity and good moral character. I do everything by myself. They feel like they can enter in my life whenever they want. I'm currently so emotionally drained. I don't know how to handle this, so I obsess about it for 2 days. Then I get a text an I get anxious. So, I will block out the texts. I will focus on my peace of mind. I decided to write his mother a letter explaining myself. To which will wake the bear, but I am sick of being hounded. Who arrives in town and expects you to meet them that next day...and pretends like we are friends? I can't stand ignoring the elephant in the room. I don't live my life like that. I am known by everyone to be honest. I'm trying so hard being kind and respectful, but I would love to disappear and run away. I just really can't deal with them if they are in denial. What kind of relation ship is that? My x use to tell me it is all or nothing with me. It this moment it is true. I don't think there can be a compromise with this. This is about my sons well being. Just over it. And legally, I can't block him. When will this drama and stupidity end. The past year and a half has been so peaceful! Ultimately, I know I can't let them destroy my peace of mind. But this takes a lot of focus and meditation!

greeteachday

Story, you're actions are always with your son's well being and best interest in mind, so I think you can be sure that you are figuring out "what is right." Sometimes, I've found that what is the next right thing to do isn't what others want of me, but I no longer want the stress and anxiety of trying to please everyone to the detriment of my emotional well being. I know things are tough now with your ex trying to make contact again - keep looking out for your little guy and enjoying him. You're a great mom!

chicory

Story,

Trust yourself. You do what you think is best, and then if you can, let go what they think.
Put up your boundaries, and make them respect them, maybe going no contact at all.

Are you second guessing yourself? If not, then let go of feeling pressure from them.

If his dad wants to see him, and he has changed his life, he will probably let you know.

Ann

I agree with everyone here, you are the mama and you get to decide what is and what is not okay for your immediate family.

It's not easy doing the right thing sometimes, but it's still the right thing and what needs to be done.

Hugs