airwick

My son just told me he hates me. No reason. Is this how a 12 year old boy acts? It just gets the best of me. The tears flow, the voices raise.

You would think that I'd want to drink huh? Hell no.


I won't give in; except to a good nites sleep

SoberLeigh

Aw, airwick; I'm sorry. 12 year old boys are flooded with hormones; they don't understand what is going on inside them; they are totally bewildered.

Feel better, airwick, and congratulations for not giving in.

suki44883

My daughter was 11 years old the first time she said that to me. It wasn't so much the words, although they hurt, but it was the way she was looking at me when she said it. Not shouting, just saying it through clenched teeth. I'm so sorry you heard that from your son, airwick. I know how deeply it cuts and how much it hurts, regardless of what they are going through at that age. ((((HUGS))))

Dee74

Not that it will help you feel any better but it sounds pretty normal to me airwick....I was a mess at around 13.

I"m sorry.

D

jaynie04

My 9 year old daughter came out with the same words recently…I think it shocked her as much as it shocked me. Then she said quickly "don't tell Dad I said that", at which point we both cracked up.

While I don't think it is ok for children to be disrespectful, I also believe that as they grow up they process all sorts of emotions. I would imagine that one of the safest places to test those out are at home.

I bet there are more parents who have heard those words than not. My mother used to tell me not to let the door hit me on the way out….

DoubleDragons

Someone wise told me that when boys reach a certain age (usually around puberty) they will make a very obvious point of showing you and themselves that they are separating from you, their beloved mother. They will do this because they have such intense love for their mothers, that at the puberty stage, makes them very uncomfortable. I have three sons. The youngest is almost 14 and all three have reacted to me very negatively during these years. I am experiencing the worst of it from my 16 year old right now who acts like I am the most ridiculous, silly person he has ever met and instigates and provokes me every chance that he gets. This, too, shall pass, airwick. My 18 year old son and I have come full circle and we have a wonderful relationship just in time for him to leave for college.

dmdonnalee

I always said that if your children say they hate you, you must be doing a good job. You are not supposed to be their friends. Many people think they are. So, congratulations to you for doing something RIGHT!!

GotGrace

I remember saying that to my mom once. I couldn't believe it. It was like something took over me.

I am sorry that happened. I hope tomorrow will be a better day for both of you. Good job staying sober!

Nuudawn

Gotta echo dmdonnalee. I remember reading one of those little wisdom essays on some sign in a quaint little gift store that said something to the effect that if your kids hasn't told you at least once they hated you...you weren't doing your job.

Sounds like you are doing your job.

anykey

Well that was rude. If I worried about all the people who dont like me- I would tell him to take a number.

Change you will. Tell him to change his name. Put him up for adoption. The grass is always greener on the other side....

Nuudawn

You are kidding right?

airwick

Anykey: That's my boy, I will love him till the end. Returning him-giving him back- placing him for adoption.....NOT A CHOICE. I brought him into this world and I will keep him safe no matter what. No matter what was said, what ever is done.

I am sorry if I took what you said out of context

FreeOwl

I'm not sure any kid makes it through the teen years without telling his or her parents he or she hates them.....

SnoozyQ

It cuts you deep coming from your own child . Rest assured , he doesn't mean it . He's just pushing the boundaries .

The ones that hurt you most are the ones you love .

He really doesn't mean it xxx

ReadyAtLast

Just tell him you'll always love him whatever he says/does. don't shout or argue with him. They are just full of hormones at that age and testing boundaries plus don't know how they feel half the time. As long as he knows your love is unconditional he'll be ok

DefconOne

12-19 is an out of body experience for most young people. Hormones are going wild. Forgive them for they know not what they say or do.

Timmah

Yep. My daughter is 18 and starting to come out of the "alien years." I call them that because I swear aliens abducted my princess when she was 13 and replaced with one of them.

It's natural and normal. By no means easy.

FeenixxRising

He doesn't really hate you airwick. I suspect he was just angry and wasn't able to handle his emotions appropriately. I wouldn't fret about it too much; we all say hurtful things in the heat of the moment, especially children.

Anna

When my daughter was 12 she changed from a sweet child to someone who could barely tolerate me and yes, I heard the 'I hate you' more than once. It's at that age that kids connect with their peers and step away from their parents. It's their friends that matter the most to them and it's very hard to take. If you hang in there, he will come out of it.

sugarbear1

He loves you enough and feels secure enough to say it out loud to you. That is a sign that he is only expressing his mixed emotions.

He may not like your behavior at times, but I believe he truly Does Love You.

Hugs,
~SB