Is this a lot?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 23
Is this a lot?
Hubby is an alcholic. He has been drinking 2 Hurricane High Gravity 40 ounce bottles a day with 8.1 ALC.
He acts drunk, slurred speech, anger, depression.
Is it normal. He says it is just beer.
Has anyone had their husband tell them not to get close? He is pushing me away. Says things that are making me feel worried. It's like the devil is inside him. His eyes look black.
He acts drunk, slurred speech, anger, depression.
Is it normal. He says it is just beer.
Has anyone had their husband tell them not to get close? He is pushing me away. Says things that are making me feel worried. It's like the devil is inside him. His eyes look black.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 97
Well, according to this: http://rethinkingdrinking.niaaa.nih....Calculator.asp it is the equivalent of 11 drinks, so yeah...a lot. Alcohol is alcohol, whether beer, wine, or liquor.
Alcohol is a poison to the body/brain, and the more you ingest, it progressively shuts down portions of your brain-after a couple drinks inhibitions are lowered, then judgement, eventually abilities to speak and balance are impaired, and if the blood alcohol level gets too high, the parts of the brain responsible for respiration/life shut down, and death can occur.
So if after 11 drinks, the part responsible for interpersonal connection and emotional relationship if shut down, that is not a surprise, that is just what alcohol does to the brain.
Sounds like you are in a tough situation. I'm sorry about that. Welcome to SR.
Alcohol is a poison to the body/brain, and the more you ingest, it progressively shuts down portions of your brain-after a couple drinks inhibitions are lowered, then judgement, eventually abilities to speak and balance are impaired, and if the blood alcohol level gets too high, the parts of the brain responsible for respiration/life shut down, and death can occur.
So if after 11 drinks, the part responsible for interpersonal connection and emotional relationship if shut down, that is not a surprise, that is just what alcohol does to the brain.
Sounds like you are in a tough situation. I'm sorry about that. Welcome to SR.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 493
You have been posting since 2011. Is this a different scenario than the "normal" one with your AH?
If he is being mean to you, can you leave the house or at least go to a different part of the house? Will he pass out if you leave him alone?
Sending you courage!
If he is being mean to you, can you leave the house or at least go to a different part of the house? Will he pass out if you leave him alone?
Sending you courage!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 23
We tend to stay in different parts of the house. He stopped drinking for a long time. Now he is doing it big time. When he drinks, he goes outside or sits in the garage all day. I hardly see him. I can see his personality is changing. He is less like himself.
I haven't been to the boards to read as I haven't wanted him to see me reading.
Where do I learn more?
I really haven't read up as he stopped for a long time. I am getting concerned. I can see his health is being affected. His feet and lower legs are swelling, so I know his kidneys and heart is probably being affected.
Thank you for the link to the calculator.
I haven't been to the boards to read as I haven't wanted him to see me reading.
Where do I learn more?
I really haven't read up as he stopped for a long time. I am getting concerned. I can see his health is being affected. His feet and lower legs are swelling, so I know his kidneys and heart is probably being affected.
Thank you for the link to the calculator.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: NC
Posts: 117
My AH gets that empty, black eyed look when he drinks too. It's as if his very soul is being sucked out of him. He is a mean and angry man with he drinks. From what I understand as the disease progresses that can get worse and worse.
I am SO SORRY you have to deal with this also! Breaks my heart for everyone suffering on both sides.
I am SO SORRY you have to deal with this also! Breaks my heart for everyone suffering on both sides.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Eau Claire, WI
Posts: 88
Hmm. I don't think you should be calling him an 'alcoholic'. Only he can make that diagnosis. 2x 40oz Hurricanes is a lot. Maybe he could try going down to one a day and then to none. I'm sure he will see his life improve.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: NC
Posts: 117
All you can do is take care of yourself.... Your husband has to do this all on his own.
Have you attended Al-Anon meetings? It will help you get yourself centered to where you are taking care of the only person you can.... You.
Big, big HUG!
Have you attended Al-Anon meetings? It will help you get yourself centered to where you are taking care of the only person you can.... You.
Big, big HUG!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 23
I am disabled so it's hard to get out to meetings. One lady told me there was an online group. I hope to join that.
He says he is an alcoholic, so I don't see the problem calling him one. It's not to be offensive or anything. He has been one since he was a teen. So sorry if I offended anyone.
Like I said he has been drunk for probably 4-5 months or more this time around. He used to binge off and on. For the last few months he rarely is not intoxicated. Perhaps a handful of days he as not drank to the point he has to sleep it off.
He says he is an alcoholic, so I don't see the problem calling him one. It's not to be offensive or anything. He has been one since he was a teen. So sorry if I offended anyone.
Like I said he has been drunk for probably 4-5 months or more this time around. He used to binge off and on. For the last few months he rarely is not intoxicated. Perhaps a handful of days he as not drank to the point he has to sleep it off.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 23
I have been focusing my energies on me. As I know I cannot change him. I have been working at trying to improve my health issues, which is a full time job. I do things like yoga, juicing green vegetables, eating healthy, reading positive uplifting quotes to cope.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Nutmegger
Posts: 1,799
Rosepetals…it was not offensive, at all, and I am an alcoholic. I don't think you need to have to come here and worry about offending anyone, it sounds like you have enough to deal with at home.
Do not doubt yourself, or your perceptions. Being isolated and disabled is a very vulnerable and difficult position with an active angry A. I am hoping someone will come along who has some experience, but my guess is a local Al-anon group could likely help you out with transportation. Finding support is so important, you need to have healthy rational people around to validate the fact that this is not okay.
Stick around here, and please disregard any notion of offending anyone!
Do not doubt yourself, or your perceptions. Being isolated and disabled is a very vulnerable and difficult position with an active angry A. I am hoping someone will come along who has some experience, but my guess is a local Al-anon group could likely help you out with transportation. Finding support is so important, you need to have healthy rational people around to validate the fact that this is not okay.
Stick around here, and please disregard any notion of offending anyone!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Iowa
Posts: 3,050
My group has a couple of members who are unable to drive. Other members give them rides to and from the meeting. There is another lady who drives but needs assistance with her wheelchair in and out of her car and the elevator in the building. We take turns helping her. It is part of our service to Alanon and we are honored to make everyone who wants to attend welcome at our meeting.
Big hugs to you. I also love yoga. It has really helped me with managing my emotions and keeping my mindset positive.
Big hugs to you. I also love yoga. It has really helped me with managing my emotions and keeping my mindset positive.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 23
Thank you for your kindness. Yes it is hard. Unfortunately I can not rely on my abilities to drive. Too often symptoms hit acutely, making it hard to function. Stress brings it out. I am glad to be post here, reaching for others wisdom.
Hubby has no desire to cut back or get treatment of any sort. Because I am aware of this I focus on doing what I can for myself. I really understand the importance of self-love as crazy as it sounds. I try to do healthy, kind things for my body to keep from crumbling under pressure.
Hubby has no desire to cut back or get treatment of any sort. Because I am aware of this I focus on doing what I can for myself. I really understand the importance of self-love as crazy as it sounds. I try to do healthy, kind things for my body to keep from crumbling under pressure.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Regarding getting to a meeting--here's a link to email, internet chat and telephone meetings. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/electronic-meetings
As far as getting to a face-to-face meeting (which I personally feel is the best choice), I'd second those who said that members of your local Alanon group or from the intergroup office will most likely be delighted to help you with transportation. Service is part of the Alanon program, and you'd be doing them a favor in allowing them to help you.
If your disability is such that a regular vehicle can't accommodate you (for instance, you need to be transported in a wheelchair), check with whatever government agency deals with disability issues in your area. I worked for a specialized transport company for a couple of years, driving a van equipped w/a wheelchair lift, and in many cases, people could get rides for a very nominal fee or free.
It does sound as if his disease is accelerating. The more you can learn about alcoholism, the better equipped you'll be to deal with what comes your way. I also think it makes sense to learn about what your options are that do NOT involve depending on your A. Keep reading and posting here, and please do pursue finding a way to a face-to-face Alanon meeting.
Wishing you strength and clarity.
As far as getting to a face-to-face meeting (which I personally feel is the best choice), I'd second those who said that members of your local Alanon group or from the intergroup office will most likely be delighted to help you with transportation. Service is part of the Alanon program, and you'd be doing them a favor in allowing them to help you.
If your disability is such that a regular vehicle can't accommodate you (for instance, you need to be transported in a wheelchair), check with whatever government agency deals with disability issues in your area. I worked for a specialized transport company for a couple of years, driving a van equipped w/a wheelchair lift, and in many cases, people could get rides for a very nominal fee or free.
It does sound as if his disease is accelerating. The more you can learn about alcoholism, the better equipped you'll be to deal with what comes your way. I also think it makes sense to learn about what your options are that do NOT involve depending on your A. Keep reading and posting here, and please do pursue finding a way to a face-to-face Alanon meeting.
Wishing you strength and clarity.
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