let down
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: South Florida
Posts: 29
let down
Last night I had Scotch at the company party. I feel like I let all of you and myself down. I once again proved to myself that I can't moderate.
My clock reset at zero. My second try starts from today
My clock reset at zero. My second try starts from today
The Kid
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 90
If you're back here and ready to start again then there is no way you have let anyone down!
It shows a strength of character getting straight back up after a set back. You haven't failed, you've only failed when you give up trying. You're here and you're ready to take another shot at it, you're winning.
Stay strong and god bless
~ENC
It shows a strength of character getting straight back up after a set back. You haven't failed, you've only failed when you give up trying. You're here and you're ready to take another shot at it, you're winning.
Stay strong and god bless
~ENC
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
Hey, hanita. It took me a few go rounds to finally get it that my days of moderation ended years ago. I was a cucumber when i was drinking moderately. Then i started drinking alcoholically and i became a pickle. A cucumber can become a pickle but a pickle can't become a cucumber. That's a pretty simple but profound realization for me!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 621
Hanita - it is great to came straight back. I was Day 17 sober and then drank - but I came back with my tail between my legs and is nearly the end of Day 23 sober. The AV is diminishing - or hasn't hounded me for a few days.
Before you know it, your sober time will build right back up again 
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
Hanita, I'm glad you came back.
The disease of alcoholism is relentless and it will continue to take from you until you stop it. It's so good that you're back and ready to recover.
The disease of alcoholism is relentless and it will continue to take from you until you stop it. It's so good that you're back and ready to recover.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 267
Great you're back, Hanita. I won't speak for everyone and say we've all been there but I know I sure have. Don't excuse yourself. . .but do forgive yourself (and get back to work 
). Proud of you for owning up and coming back. You can make it stick this time.
). Proud of you for owning up and coming back. You can make it stick this time.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: TN
Posts: 114
This is one tough disease to overcome. Your going to STAY sober when your ready...when you've had enough. I'm almost to 30 straight days of sobriety. I haven't made it this far since the mid 90s. There have been a few occasions here lately where I almost got in the car to go get a bottle of rum but I didn't. Darn I MISS that buzz, that calm, that "ahhh" feeling. But for me, I just reached the point that the short term euphoria from the booze just isn't worth terrible side effects when it wears off. To me its just not worth feeling like a got hit by a train the ENTIRE next day or even sometimes it extends another day. I'm just sick of it. Oh what I would give for a "free" buzz with no price to pay in the end. I take this thing day by day. And tomorrow on Saturday morning I don't want to wake up feeling like hell. I just can't do it anymore.
Don't feel bad and don't ever let anyone beat you down because you were weak. I'm a weak moment away EVERY day myself. Like I said, your going to stop for good when you've had enough. I most certainly won't judge you. I'm happy to support you. Keep trying.
Don't feel bad and don't ever let anyone beat you down because you were weak. I'm a weak moment away EVERY day myself. Like I said, your going to stop for good when you've had enough. I most certainly won't judge you. I'm happy to support you. Keep trying.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Lost in the midwest
Posts: 443
Hanita, I have been right where you are at this moment. And I feel like a broken record. There are times in the past, when i have intentionally looked past recovery and wanted to try to be normal. My normal has to be reset. I have had so many one day relapses, its not even funny. But the important thing is that we get back up and keep fighting this fight. Acceptance is the key. Yes, I have accepted that I am an alcoholic. Even when i have picked up and drank, I still said, yeah, I am an alcoholic.... Guilt shame remorse and anxiety are always knocking on my door the day after a one day return to the old ways. I love the fact that you got right back up. Fall down seven times, get up eight congrats on 4 days!!!
congrats on 4 days!!!
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