FreeOwl

There are a lot of things about our childhood that are formative. We dream of things big and small. Of what we want to be. Adventures we'd like to go on. Faraway lands and fun. We know kindness for kindness sake when we're children, it just comes naturally.

But I don't remember ever dreaming of alcohol. I don't recall ever feeling distressed at the idea of 'having to live the rest of my life without alcohol'.

As adults, often we lament on the childhood dreams we never had come true (yet). Maybe we think back on things we wish we'd done differently or more of. Maybe we even long to be children again sometimes. The child in us, after all, lives on.

When we put ourselves back in that child's eyes.... feel with that child's heart.... did we ever really desire to blot our lives out with a haze? Did we want to spend money on poison and bring pain to ourselves and others? Did we find it somehow unfathomable that we might live our lives without BOOZE?????

I think we all know the answer.

Maybe when we find ourselves wrestling with that anxiety and fear over living 'the rest of our lives without drinking', it's an indication that it's time for a simple, unencumbered conversation with our own inner child. A quick visit to The Dreamer Within, for assurance that it will be ok. That not only will it be OK, but it will actually be a lot more like the Dream we always Dreamed.....

Sobertaurus

So funny you should post this. Just this morning I was driving into work thinking back to a time in my life when alcohol played NO part. I didn't think about it, worry about it, nothing. I had my first son at 18 and second at 20, so I didn't start drinking until I was maybe 24. I remember those years as a time when a lot was happening and I was pretty on the ball. Anyway...it is almost surreal. I get what you're talking about.

zombiegirl

I totally agree I think I mentioned something like this the other day. We never drank as children and we has so much more fun and wonderful memories
I don't want to ever drink again as the feeling it gave me and the stupid things I did while drunk are not the real me.
The innocence I see in my children and fun theu have is what I want xxx

FreeOwl

I look at my little girls.... happy, healthy, joyful, free..... they don't drink. They don't seem to have a need to shift their reality. They don't seem to need to blot out their lives.

Somewhere along the line, booze entered the picture and we allowed ourselves to believe we somehow NEEDED it to live, to love, to experience, to have fun, to celebrate, to grow, to have sex, to work, to play....... to _______________.

But obviously that's not true.... it's not somehow 'in our nature' to need alcohol.

sugarbear1

I reallllly liked my sugar back then......

Lizella

Great post! I'll have to remember this next time I think I need a drink.

sunshine4ever

Thank you so much for this post. Everything you said, I can relate to. I have three beautiful daughters and I have missed so much of their lives. The last few years especially seem like a bad dream. I don't even remember most of it because I was so drunk most of the time. They are so innocent and I did not feel they knew, but seeing the joy in their eyes when I'm sober shows me that they did know. I told them I had quit drinking and I wanted to focus on a better, healthier life and my 10-year-old cheered. That made me so sad. But I can't focus on the past, none of us can. This is a time of moving forward and bettering ourselves. May 6th was my sobriety "birthday." I have come so far since then and did not realize that it could actually feel GOOD to be sober. I was in the grocery store yesterday and walked by the Mike's harder lemonade (my drink of choice because it was cheap and got me drunk quickly). I had a quick thought of how refreshing it would be to have one on the patio in the warm weather, but… Quickly diminished when I remembered the hell that "relaxing" drink created for my family and I. I love you all and appreciate your post. I don't get on here much, but when I do it is very encouraging to feel that I am not alone. Blessings to all of you.

SoberLeigh

I like the way you think, FreeOwl.

Great post; thanks.