CodeJob

So yesterday I was anxious. I've been dealing with rising anxiety. I've figured out the base of my fears - and having this knowledge out in the day to day consciousness is a real drain. Things are connecting up with FOO and some of my memories are coming back. Some memories contradict and all I know is things don't add up. More will be revealed and likely soon at the pace I am moving.

Even though work was nuts, I took off to my meeting. As I locked my car I saw a chipmunk. He was alone and healthy and zipping along the church parking lot heading towards the church. I was frozen to see a chipmunk. I've never seen one where I live. Ever - 18 Y. I often lament them not being here as I adore their antics even though I know they can be a PIA. I stood there and wondered if I could trap a few and bring them home. Isn't that just the most Codie thought ever!. I walked into that meeting right where I needed to be.

And when I got back to work I emailed therapist to make an additional appt. which oddly worked out too! So I admitted I am a Codie wreck and I am right where I am supposed to be - sans chipmunks. I survived an impromptu double Whammy Wed.

I hope ya'll are having more serenity than me this week & not crazy enough to consider being rodents to your house on purpose.

Worried0810

I think you should've captured the chipmunk :P I have been seriously considering a cat. I've wanting one for years but now I think I will have one!
Keep strong and you'll get through this. I think everyone on here has an extraordinary amount of strength to even come on and share their story.
Keep going to the meetings if they are helping you and visualise your ideal future because you can have it now
But I totally think you should get chipmunks!

aasharon90

I saw the title of your share and read
what you wrote and just wanted to say
first, thank you for sharing and that
I smiled thinking about signs of our HP.

We got some much needed rain the past
few days down here in Baton Rouge which
was awesome. I can water my plants from
the hose till im blue in the face and nothing
does wonders or miracles that rain itself.

I think of it as something in the rain itself
that makes the flowers and plants perk up
and look beautiful. Its the Miracle in the rain.

Then another sign from our HP is birds.

I feed all our beautiful feather friends
each day just so we can admire all those
different varieties in the neighborhood.

What is sooooo awesome to me is that
I have one bird, don't know what kind it
is, comes to visit me each time I go outside.
He or she sees me and it must feel so
trusting of me that I can talk to it and it
will walk about 1 to 2 feet away from me
and eat some little worms I place on the
ground for him to eat.

Normally bird will fly away when a human
is near it, but this little fellow comes to me.
All I can say is, it is a little Miracle that allows
him to feel so comfortable to come that close
to me. Maybe it is someone that has passed
coming to me to keep me company or keeping
me into gratefulness for remaining sober and
enjoying wonderful gifts in recovery.

MissFixit

I like chipmunks too. When I was little, we used to capture everything that came near the house. Fed them and released them. Once we (My dad) caught a flying squirrel in the den. That was cool. Gave it to our local nature center.

Are you still seeing the "crush" therapist?

Hammer

Stung

Ewwwww…chipmunks…they're like rats with bushy, furry tails! What is the difference between chipmunks and squirrels? Squirrels are everywhere here and in my hometown. My toddler wants to catch them but she wants to catch them for our dog who is always on leash and thus can't catch them herself. LOL

Sorry you're having so much anxiety lately. I remember that I felt similarly when I was putting the pieces together about my NPD mom. More will be revealed but keep in mind that this stuff doesn't have to define you anymore than you want it to. Even though it's revealed to you, you don't have to keep it and carry it around with you all day every day.

MAGW

Ah, now I have my answer, I must qualify as a Codie... You are not alone... On my way to therapist last week I saw a crow trying to get off the ground with a baby bunny in it's mouth. I also saw the hopeless mamma bunny watching it unfold. I couldn't handle the scene. I pulled over to come to the rescue, scared the crow off. Saw the baby was punctured, didn't know what to do, mama was afraid to come over, baby suddenly hopped up and away. I stayed watch to keep the circling crow at bay. Tried to get the mama bunny to cross the street but she wouldn't so I drive away.... Not sure of the message here as if anything it reinforced that I could rescue the bunny by scaring the crow off --- then again it's just not the same with humans and alcoholic boyfriends for whom we try to protect from the scary, circling disease..

allysen

I'm having the opposite problem. Trying to get a mouse of my house for the past two days. If you're still finding yourself needing rodents, feel free to come over and help me! Maybe two codies can overcome rodent problems together?

HopefulinFLA

Maybe Worried0810 could bring get cat over to assist with the mouse problem! ;-)

CodeJob

Hammer, That was a squirrel. Which I did not have these either when I first moved many many moons ago.

I think I managed to put up a picture of a chipmunk.

dandylion

I tend to trust others who instinctively love and respect ALL of God's creatures.

It seems so narcissistic to think that we humans are the most important species.


dandylion

FireSprite

I love my nature time on Sunday mornings! I sit on my back deck & watch the squirrels run through the canopy of treetops in the early morning while the birds fly all around working on their nests. The squirrels can get across almost my full acre without stepping foot on the ground, but they like to run down to the ground randomly to tease my cats. It's like Wild Kingdom in my backyard.

Since Dec I've had a woodpecker that DEMANDS my attention when he is in the area - he performs these great drumming concerts about 30 ft up a pine tree close to my back deck & always makes sure he has my attention before his performance begins. He will play anywhere from 2-20 mins.