Busted again:(
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
Busted again:(
God knows what's wrong with me . My daughter had to go back into hospital lots of bleeding 8 days after tonsils out filled up 3 bags of blood . I seem to get so stressed I drink always . Feeling really frustrated and hopeless . I can't seem to handle all this Kaos boys fighting ATM so sick of being the peace maker and it doesn't work no one listens I'm going totally insane so I numb it . Dumb hey .
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Not dumb. It might be alcoholism. To drink is our default option, regardless of whether we have problems or whether things are going well. Did the drink fix anything? Did the problems go away?
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm sorry your daughter is not well, and that the boys are not helping.
It's not dumb if it's the only coping mecanism you have, Liss....but the thing is, you need to put your faith in other things - you need to get numbers to call and use them, you have to learn to ask for help...you need to post and use the support SR offers here too before you drink, not after.
Most of all I think you need to accept that getting sober will be uncomfortable and stressful for a while. There's no short cut around that Liss.
Detox will help you withdraw safely, but it's not going to help you deal any better with any of this.
You really need a plan and you really need to follow it through if you want things to change Liss.
D
It's not dumb if it's the only coping mecanism you have, Liss....but the thing is, you need to put your faith in other things - you need to get numbers to call and use them, you have to learn to ask for help...you need to post and use the support SR offers here too before you drink, not after.
Most of all I think you need to accept that getting sober will be uncomfortable and stressful for a while. There's no short cut around that Liss.
Detox will help you withdraw safely, but it's not going to help you deal any better with any of this.
You really need a plan and you really need to follow it through if you want things to change Liss.
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
Originally Posted by Dee74 
I'm sorry your daughter is not well, and that the boys are not helping. It's not dumb if it's the only coping mecanism you have, Liss....but the thing is, you need to put your faith in other things - you need to get numbers to call and use them, you have to learn to ask for help...you need to post and use the support SR offers here too before you drink, not after. Most of all I think you need to accept that getting sober will be uncomfortable and stressful for a while. There's no short cut around that Liss. Detox will help you withdraw safely, but it's not going to help you deal any better with any of this. You really need a plan and you really need to follow it through if you want things to change Liss. D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
Originally Posted by Gottalife
Not dumb. It might be alcoholism. To drink is our default option, regardless of whether we have problems or whether things are going well. Did the drink fix anything? Did the problems go away?
Crazy Cat Lady
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
D hit the nail on the head right there, Liss. I think you need to reread that post often.
Stress is an undeniable fact of life. Sober, drunk, alcoholic or teetotaler, you're going to experience stress. Nothing you do will banish stress from your life. What you can do is change how you react to stress. People living in sobriety have coping skills that you haven't experienced yet. If you keep reacting in the same manner, you won't have the chance to learn new skills.
Look, nothing changes if nothing changes. Stress isn't an excuse any more than it being Thursday is an excuse. I had to accept that there are many things in my life that i cannot change. By not worrying about the things i cannot change, i am free to change the things i can. That starts with me. I am free to change the way i interpret and react to what happens in my life, i am free to make changes in my life that make sobriety possible. Not even possible but preferable.
I think having someone you can call before you take actions to drink would be very helpful. Have several someones, actually. Dee is so spot on about having to come to terms with being uncomfortable. It's just another fact of life. But discomfort passes. It passes a lot faster than the pain, frustration and shame drinking brings me. It's a lot easier in the end to humble myself and ask for help.
I know you can make the change. Believe me, if i can do it, anyone can.
Stress is an undeniable fact of life. Sober, drunk, alcoholic or teetotaler, you're going to experience stress. Nothing you do will banish stress from your life. What you can do is change how you react to stress. People living in sobriety have coping skills that you haven't experienced yet. If you keep reacting in the same manner, you won't have the chance to learn new skills.
Look, nothing changes if nothing changes. Stress isn't an excuse any more than it being Thursday is an excuse. I had to accept that there are many things in my life that i cannot change. By not worrying about the things i cannot change, i am free to change the things i can. That starts with me. I am free to change the way i interpret and react to what happens in my life, i am free to make changes in my life that make sobriety possible. Not even possible but preferable.
I think having someone you can call before you take actions to drink would be very helpful. Have several someones, actually. Dee is so spot on about having to come to terms with being uncomfortable. It's just another fact of life. But discomfort passes. It passes a lot faster than the pain, frustration and shame drinking brings me. It's a lot easier in the end to humble myself and ask for help.
I know you can make the change. Believe me, if i can do it, anyone can.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
AA seemed to work well for you for a long time. I don't why that changed - only you can answer that Liss.
There's rehab there's outpatient, there's medications, there's counseling....
A plan to me hinges on two things.
The first is support, and using it - doing whatever it takes not to buy that bottle.
the second thing is making changes.
But really it's down to you whatever way you go - you have to have the strength and courage to make different decisions from here on in
One change I really implore you to make right away is...no more drinking and driving.
You'd never forgive yourself if you hurt someone else or your kids, or if you lost your licence.
D
There's rehab there's outpatient, there's medications, there's counseling....
A plan to me hinges on two things.
The first is support, and using it - doing whatever it takes not to buy that bottle.
the second thing is making changes.
But really it's down to you whatever way you go - you have to have the strength and courage to make different decisions from here on in
One change I really implore you to make right away is...no more drinking and driving.
You'd never forgive yourself if you hurt someone else or your kids, or if you lost your licence.
D
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 437
Dee and the other members make a lot of sense, Liss.
It may sound daunting in your situation, but the booze can be beaten. It's just a temporary numbness and afterwards the reasons you drank are still there, but probably more difficult to face because of fuzziness, hang-overs, etc.
You know what needs to be done, you know the support is there, so take the next step, please.
All the best,
Bruce.
It may sound daunting in your situation, but the booze can be beaten. It's just a temporary numbness and afterwards the reasons you drank are still there, but probably more difficult to face because of fuzziness, hang-overs, etc.
You know what needs to be done, you know the support is there, so take the next step, please.
All the best,
Bruce.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Wales UK
Posts: 859
It is normal to be stressed when your child has an operation especially when you have a bleed 8 days after. Your boys will fight and argue that's the deal.
Drinking highlights and magnifies things as they head out of control.
I've read many of your posts and know you want to quit, you've just got back into the habit of picking up.
You need to start again with help from wherever and get through the first week, you know it's not impossible but you have to back up at those times that you slip be that Hospitals , kids fighting or just that stupid thought that says one will help and you'll stop, clear your house of drink and don't buy any more, you need time and your not helping yourself , you can do this your commitment can be increased every time you are stressed or just want a drink by recognising it as just that and when you don't pick up even if your still edgy start exploring the feeling of pride, especially on a morning knowing you made it.
You can't live on previous victory over drink when your still drinking , you know we know you can , new day one new commitment, then do it use everybody and everything you can to help. I believe you can and I know how hard it is just because you failed last week doesn't mean you have to wallow and fail again and again, the start is rubbish but you'll soon be through it and not living your half committed life. Start now.
John.
Drinking highlights and magnifies things as they head out of control.
I've read many of your posts and know you want to quit, you've just got back into the habit of picking up.
You need to start again with help from wherever and get through the first week, you know it's not impossible but you have to back up at those times that you slip be that Hospitals , kids fighting or just that stupid thought that says one will help and you'll stop, clear your house of drink and don't buy any more, you need time and your not helping yourself , you can do this your commitment can be increased every time you are stressed or just want a drink by recognising it as just that and when you don't pick up even if your still edgy start exploring the feeling of pride, especially on a morning knowing you made it.
You can't live on previous victory over drink when your still drinking , you know we know you can , new day one new commitment, then do it use everybody and everything you can to help. I believe you can and I know how hard it is just because you failed last week doesn't mean you have to wallow and fail again and again, the start is rubbish but you'll soon be through it and not living your half committed life. Start now.
John.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
I remember in early recovery seeing one
of many signs on the wall at a local AA meeting
I went to and the word RESPONSIBLE seemed
to stand out big and bold.
What did it mean I wondered.
Then as time passed each day I didn't drink
and a program of recovery working in my
everyday life slowly began to make sense.
I eventually realized that when I returned
from a 28 day inpatiant rehab stay back
in 1990, I vowed I would do whatever I
needed to do to remain sober so I wouldn't
be taken away from my little family again.
I stepped up to the plate and became responsible
in my own recovery. It became first things first
in my life placing it strong in front of my family
for if I didn't do that then I surely wouldn't have
my life, my family, my everything.
I used those tools and knowledge of my alcoholism
to build a strong soild foundation to live my life
upon and a strong defense against the forces of
temptation, evil, poison, cravings and everyday
life.
Being responsible in recovery allowed me
to help raise my 2 little ones guiding them
along their own way in life to be responsible
young adults in their own life, families, jobs.
of many signs on the wall at a local AA meeting
I went to and the word RESPONSIBLE seemed
to stand out big and bold.
What did it mean I wondered.
Then as time passed each day I didn't drink
and a program of recovery working in my
everyday life slowly began to make sense.
I eventually realized that when I returned
from a 28 day inpatiant rehab stay back
in 1990, I vowed I would do whatever I
needed to do to remain sober so I wouldn't
be taken away from my little family again.
I stepped up to the plate and became responsible
in my own recovery. It became first things first
in my life placing it strong in front of my family
for if I didn't do that then I surely wouldn't have
my life, my family, my everything.
I used those tools and knowledge of my alcoholism
to build a strong soild foundation to live my life
upon and a strong defense against the forces of
temptation, evil, poison, cravings and everyday
life.
Being responsible in recovery allowed me
to help raise my 2 little ones guiding them
along their own way in life to be responsible
young adults in their own life, families, jobs.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
