Is it "in the family"?
Sweet, yet, Deadly
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Rock Hill
Posts: 40
Is it "in the family"?
i was talkin to my mom and i was telling her everything that was going on, and she said that she did the same things i am doing now. she is afraid that i will follow her too closely and she is scared. she was in a mental hospital. i dont want to go there. i am scared enough... i am scared of myself, life, people, things. i dont want to be afraid ne more... and at 330am, i am still not asleep!
i dont want to be in a psych ward, and i dont want to feel this. It is almost like if someone cut my arm off, i would wonder when i was supposed to feel the pain! I FEEL NOTHING! i want to feel again. i DONT want anti depressants. My mom is on those now and addicted. it is just one more candy bar that the fat kid cant have to me.
Drugs are like cupcakes and peanutbutter cups. i feel GREAT while i am eating them, and then i feel horrid!
I have not been the same. i want to be the girl that was strong.
i dont want to be crazy from the withdrawls.
i rock a lot... i shake a lot. i think weird thought. i play make believe in the middle of real life... please tell me i can be saved, or how to save myself!
God...help!
i dont want to be in a psych ward, and i dont want to feel this. It is almost like if someone cut my arm off, i would wonder when i was supposed to feel the pain! I FEEL NOTHING! i want to feel again. i DONT want anti depressants. My mom is on those now and addicted. it is just one more candy bar that the fat kid cant have to me.
Drugs are like cupcakes and peanutbutter cups. i feel GREAT while i am eating them, and then i feel horrid!
I have not been the same. i want to be the girl that was strong.
i dont want to be crazy from the withdrawls.
i rock a lot... i shake a lot. i think weird thought. i play make believe in the middle of real life... please tell me i can be saved, or how to save myself!
God...help!
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
You can be saved.
Tho I am not a addict to drugs, I have read here on the boards that what you are feeling others have felt as well. the rocking and so on. They have posted that it doesget better. Yes there is help, hope, and life without drugs.
Maybe others will be around that can answer your questions more direct. I know they will in time just not sure who is awake besides me and you *L*
Read some of the posts maybe on the NA board.
There is hope and you can do it. You will get through it.
Tho I am not a addict to drugs, I have read here on the boards that what you are feeling others have felt as well. the rocking and so on. They have posted that it doesget better. Yes there is help, hope, and life without drugs.
Maybe others will be around that can answer your questions more direct. I know they will in time just not sure who is awake besides me and you *L*
Read some of the posts maybe on the NA board.
There is hope and you can do it. You will get through it.
Paused
Join Date: May 2004
Location: my cloud called sobriety
Posts: 26
It sounds like you are going through a rough time, there. I only have experience with alcohol withdrawl and don't know much about withdrawl from other drugs first hand.
However, I wanted to comment on the fact that you're doing something great in looking at the long term results of continuing this lifestyle. It can have no good ending unless you stop now. Since continuing with lead you to go or become some place or someone you don't want, recovery is the only option. I had the same realization, which lead to my own recovery. I was on the brink of insanity myself when I stopped and am sooooo glad I did. Something someone told me: You really only have to go through this once. A bit of optimism for you for the time being. The rewards are great too!
However, I wanted to comment on the fact that you're doing something great in looking at the long term results of continuing this lifestyle. It can have no good ending unless you stop now. Since continuing with lead you to go or become some place or someone you don't want, recovery is the only option. I had the same realization, which lead to my own recovery. I was on the brink of insanity myself when I stopped and am sooooo glad I did. Something someone told me: You really only have to go through this once. A bit of optimism for you for the time being. The rewards are great too!
Sweet, yet, Deadly
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Rock Hill
Posts: 40
Thank you for your words. i am trying so hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel... but i guess it is a long one that i cant see the end of yet, and i suppose that makes me want to give up... but with people like ya'll and the boards in general, i know that i can make it... it is gonna be rough and i can do it! I CAN DO IT!
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Fidget
When I reached a point that I felt I couldn't do it on my own, that is when I cried out from my heart ... God...help!
I realized that He was my only hope as I didn't have the strength to bring the needed changes on my own.
To this very day I am still in awe to what He does and did do in my life.
Talk with Him from your heart. He is there to help.
The answers when we listen may not be what we want to hear but I have found they are always the right answers and His way does work every time.
God...help!
I realized that He was my only hope as I didn't have the strength to bring the needed changes on my own.
To this very day I am still in awe to what He does and did do in my life.
Talk with Him from your heart. He is there to help.
The answers when we listen may not be what we want to hear but I have found they are always the right answers and His way does work every time.
Sweet, yet, Deadly
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Rock Hill
Posts: 40
Originally Posted by best
Fidget
When I reached a point that I felt I couldn't do it on my own, that is when I cried out from my heart ... God...help!
I realized that He was my only hope as I didn't have the strength to bring the needed changes on my own.
To this very day I am still in awe to what He does and did do in my life.
Talk with Him from your heart. He is there to help.
The answers when we listen may not be what we want to hear but I have found they are always the right answers and His way does work every time.
When I reached a point that I felt I couldn't do it on my own, that is when I cried out from my heart ... God...help!
I realized that He was my only hope as I didn't have the strength to bring the needed changes on my own.
To this very day I am still in awe to what He does and did do in my life.
Talk with Him from your heart. He is there to help.
The answers when we listen may not be what we want to hear but I have found they are always the right answers and His way does work every time.
Thanks best! you are the....(leaving space blank for lack of better comment than "best")
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