Jill23

I realized last week how negative my thinking had gotten. Everything that came to my mind was something I didn't want or something I was lacking. "I don't want to be a drunk" "I don't have enough money" "I can't connect with my higher power" "My mood sucks" and all of these negative feelings were just festering and making me feel bad. Then I remembered something that I learned many years ago, we attract what we think and feel about. By maintaining this negative thought process I was attracting more negativity to my life. I made the decision to flip the switch. Now this is a lot easier said than done. I must constantly remind myself to think positively and recognize when I am entering a negative head space. I have changed my inner dialogue. "I will be sober today" "I have so many blessings and all of my needs are met" " I trust that my higher power will connect with me" "My mood is lifting". I am now noticing more positive things in my life. Now, I really don't know if I'm attracting them or I am just noticing them because I am not in an "oh, woe is me" state of mind, but whatever it is, is sure feels a hell of a lot better than I was feeling last week. Even just noticing the little things like someone holding a door for you or finding a dime in the parking lot, if we recognize the blessings, many more are sure to follow.
I hope everyone is doing well, my thoughts and prayers are with all of you.
Peace and love

biminiblue

Thank you for the reminder. Today I have been stuck in a negative circle.

Even though I know better, I don't always catch myself.

Thank you.

Hope2014

I totally agree with you. Like things attract whether positive or negative. Good post! I was a negative nelly too!!

irma

Excellent points. With the depression that goes hand in hand with using, negativity happens. But we do have the choice to turn that around. Thanks for the reminder!

Aellyce

Hi Jill, great post, thank you. I have had a specific form of this as a recurring pattern in my life. Basically, since I was a teen, I've tended to always be drawn to and trust highly critical people. Often unrealistically critical of things around them as well as me. I had the perception that such people helped me improve and grow, while in fact often it was the opposite. It took me a long time to figure out why this was: surely in part because I do like critically evaluating things, but more than anything it was a reflection of my harsh self criticisms. I sought out these people because their attitudes were emotionally familiar to me, just projected outward.

After recognizing this clearly, it still took me a long time and a lot of effort to be able to say NO and keep my distance from such people instead of pursuing them. Still not always successful... I also think the combo "worked" pretty well because I am actually able to take criticism well and question my thoughts and attitudes based on them. But as I said once on a different thread, there is a difference between healthy criticism and mental abuse.

One of the reasons why I like SR so much is because for me, it has both of the two worlds: a generally very positive, supporting style while at the same time openly and honestly assessing our issues and trying to find solutions.

gleefan

Recovery for me has been about transforming the way I look at and approach life, as much as not drinking.

least

Part of my recovery was learning to be more positive.

neferkamichael

Jill23, I have an epidemic of obsessive bad thoughts. Been studying it and practice staying positive consciously. Yes a lot easier said than done. One theme in all the books I'm reading says, be kind and compassionate to your negative thoughts, don't trash them when ya have one, it just reinforces the negativity, rootin for ya.

Anna

Jill, you are absolutely right. We get back what we put out there. And, it's not always easy. Like you, I have to focus on gratitude and being positive and often remind myself to let go of the negative stuff.

Delilah1

Great post! I have positive quotes and things that remind me to remain in the present taped all around at work. :-)

zerothehero

One thing I learned from William Glasser's Choice Theory is that people often can very easily identify what they DON'T want, but have a more difficult time clarifying what they DO want. By flipping the DON'Ts into DOs we create goals for positive progress. Once we know what we want (not just what we don't want) we can create plans to reach those goals and get more of what we want:

I don't want to be drunk; I want to be sober. (What's your plan to be sober?)
I don't have enough money; I want to make more money. (What's your plan to make money?)
I can't connect with my higher power; I want to connect with my higher power. (Plan to pray?)
My mood sucks; I want to be in a better mood. (What's your plan to create a better mood?)

This is not much different from what you were saying, except it is an exact flip of the negative thoughts, and with the purpose of turning complaints into goals and then into plans to reach them.

EJ43

Thanks Jill!!! Tomorrow I will be sober AND positive! Reminder was much needed! Thank!

SeekingGrowth

A friend of mine lives by the maxim, "what you think about, you bring about." Makes sense to me.