airwick

I'm just outright tired.

I'm tired of being angry

I'm tired of worrying
I'm tired of sitting at the computer

I'm tired of acting like everything is alright
I'm tired of arguing with my son

I'm tired of looking at the drapes blowing

I'm tired of thinking how I will survive in my home once school gets out (I'm not on salary)

I'm tired of complaining

I'm tired of typing, I'm tired of drinking coffee, I'm tired of diet pop, I'm tired of cleaning, I'm tired of smiling/crying, I'm tired of hearing the dogs bark, I'm tired pitying my AXH, I'm tired of movies, I'm tired of the rain,

Chicagoan

I wish that I had some encouraging words
my friend, I can identify with many of your
statements. I have much to work on yet.

Hope2014

Hi airwick
I get your frustrations, but the good news is you're SOBER!!! When we were drunk we couldn't feel anything because we were weren't living. Try seeing the good in what's bothering you: you have a computer, you have a son, you have drapes because you have a home- and most of all- you have sobriety.

I'll take a bad day sober over a good day drunk.

Dee74

I think it helps to talk these things out airwick. Talk to us some more

D

airwick

Hope:

Thanks for the encouraging words. I guess that's why they call you Hope. You have the ability to find the good in a situation that seems Hopeless

soberclover

I'm thinking you are pretty stressed. Is there something that you can do to take care of yourself even if just for a little while? Remember that saying H.A.L.T? Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. Generally when I'm off balance, one or more of those things is going on. For me, I need to take care of it to get back on balance.

airwick

Soberclover,am hungry...l.o.l.
I'm no longer angry, it's just not worth it anymore
I am lonely, because I was married for 13yrs and now I am alone with my son
I am tired, both emotionally and physically

Yet, I would NEVER go back to how it was. I've been making it on my own, have my house-which I am so proud of! Full custody of my son-which I am more proud of. I'm alcohol free, away from my AXH.....In reality I'm not doing half bad when I consider how thee rest of the world is doing. I guess I just needed to talk, which I don't do that often. I listen. I don't mind giving help or assistance. It's just hard for me to accept it.

Chicagoan

There will be ups and downs.
I get easily irritated but, not
as much as before. I live in
a changing neighborhood and
the noise is 24/7.

Standing~4~My~5

That's me today , airwick. Nothing consoles me today it seems. I'm pissed off at the world. I do feel like taking a nice big swig and checking out for the day. . Nine days down the shoot. I can't but I want . Crazy thinking!

airwick

Standing: I'm on day 72, there were so many days/nites that I felt so fed up that I wanted to get a bottle of wine. Yet I didn't. Why? Because that would make me become the person I left. I left an AH, do I want to follow that path?

HECK NO.

I need to set an example for my " soon to be" teenage son. I need to show him life is good. Normal people don't bump into wall, fall on the floor drunk (like his dad did). I was more or less the calm drinker, but do not consider myself to be any better then him. A drunk is a drunk no matter what type you are.