Reasons to go into sobriety. Better performance?
Not sure when last drink was?
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Moncton
Posts: 5
Reasons to go into sobriety. Better performance?
The second workweek totally off the sauce is a challenge.
I have never made it past 2 months since I was 16. I've made it more than 3 weeks only a handful of times. For my job performance is genuinely better when I can drink, my only motivation to get through the job and make the money was to drink and buy more booze to drink. For me a week holiday from boozin is always just perfect, lose a couple of pounds, prove that I can stay in control and then go back to enjoying drinking. But not this week, I'm going to stay sober. I took the time off work so it's easy to not drink. But how do you go back? When I'm sober I look at my career, all the way back through my college years as just a joke. Why did I make the choices I did? Why are all of my files a mess? Who knows? I was wasted. I look at my work and I can't fathom how my boss has never called me out or disciplined me in any way? One of the embarrassing things is I've actually challenged the people I work with to accept it and they told me I don't have a drinking problem. I'm apparently amazing at working wasted, and terrible at it sober.
I have never made it past 2 months since I was 16. I've made it more than 3 weeks only a handful of times. For my job performance is genuinely better when I can drink, my only motivation to get through the job and make the money was to drink and buy more booze to drink. For me a week holiday from boozin is always just perfect, lose a couple of pounds, prove that I can stay in control and then go back to enjoying drinking. But not this week, I'm going to stay sober. I took the time off work so it's easy to not drink. But how do you go back? When I'm sober I look at my career, all the way back through my college years as just a joke. Why did I make the choices I did? Why are all of my files a mess? Who knows? I was wasted. I look at my work and I can't fathom how my boss has never called me out or disciplined me in any way? One of the embarrassing things is I've actually challenged the people I work with to accept it and they told me I don't have a drinking problem. I'm apparently amazing at working wasted, and terrible at it sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 908
Skeletor you have to forgive yourself for your past. Not many of us here I imagine are proud of the things we've done in the past.
You are doing the right thing now, you are sober. It is never to late to put things right. One day at a time eh? I find it hard to believe you perform better at work sloshed! I know I wouldn't!
You are doing the right thing now, you are sober. It is never to late to put things right. One day at a time eh? I find it hard to believe you perform better at work sloshed! I know I wouldn't!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Hi Skeletor 
I think you need to accept that early recovery and recovery are different animals.
Early recovery I felt foggy headed and clumsy...I was sure my IQ dropped 50 points.
It's no wonder people think 'I was better drunk'...it's not true tho.
Give it time, allow your mind and body to heal and you will be amazed at what you can do sober...besides how amazing could you have been really if your files are in a mess?
D
I think you need to accept that early recovery and recovery are different animals.
Early recovery I felt foggy headed and clumsy...I was sure my IQ dropped 50 points.
It's no wonder people think 'I was better drunk'...it's not true tho.
Give it time, allow your mind and body to heal and you will be amazed at what you can do sober...besides how amazing could you have been really if your files are in a mess?
D
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,777
Of course you're doing badly. Early recovery is a bear. Feeling crummy and not sleeping well, as well as the other symptoms of early sobriety. Give yourself more time to get your act together. Your performance will come back, just sober, that's all. Give yourself more time to get back to normal. Two weeks is very early.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: Chicago IL
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by Skeletor 
The second workweek totally off the sauce is a challenge.
I have never made it past 2 months since I was 16. I've made it more than 3 weeks only a handful of times. For my job performance is genuinely better when I can drink, my only motivation to get through the job and make the money was to drink and buy more booze to drink. For me a week holiday from boozin is always just perfect, lose a couple of pounds, prove that I can stay in control and then go back to enjoying drinking. But not this week, I'm going to stay sober. I took the time off work so it's easy to not drink. But how do you go back? When I'm sober I look at my career, all the way back through my college years as just a joke. Why did I make the choices I did? Why are all of my files a mess? Who knows? I was wasted. I look at my work and I can't fathom how my boss has never called me out or disciplined me in any way? One of the embarrassing things is I've actually challenged the people I work with to accept it and they told me I don't have a drinking problem. I'm apparently amazing at working wasted, and terrible at it sober.
I have never made it past 2 months since I was 16. I've made it more than 3 weeks only a handful of times. For my job performance is genuinely better when I can drink, my only motivation to get through the job and make the money was to drink and buy more booze to drink. For me a week holiday from boozin is always just perfect, lose a couple of pounds, prove that I can stay in control and then go back to enjoying drinking. But not this week, I'm going to stay sober. I took the time off work so it's easy to not drink. But how do you go back? When I'm sober I look at my career, all the way back through my college years as just a joke. Why did I make the choices I did? Why are all of my files a mess? Who knows? I was wasted. I look at my work and I can't fathom how my boss has never called me out or disciplined me in any way? One of the embarrassing things is I've actually challenged the people I work with to accept it and they told me I don't have a drinking problem. I'm apparently amazing at working wasted, and terrible at it sober.
None of that matters now. In the last 5 years I've /really/ learned some top-tier skills and I'm better than ever. I look at what I knew back then and I could almost laugh. I was such a rookie and a novice. Huge ego though!
I can't change all of that. Today though I am "of service to others" instead of "why are you bothering me?" and I tremendously ENJOY what I do now instead of that terrible attitude I used to have. All I have to do today is show up, keep the right mindset, and everything else seems to work out.
I could kick myself 1,000 times over and over and over again for all of that but it is of no use. Instead I am happy with who I am and where I am today and right now.
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