Foolsgold186

Hi,

New to this site. Never done anything remotely like this in my life but I'm willing to try anything that will keep me sober. I attend AA meetings and have just got a sponsor, The 19th May 2014 was my last drink, I know if I dont get this I never will. I'm ready to live a life without drink. I hate who I am when I do.

Just wanted some advise regarding dealing with emotion. My family/friends and boyfriend know I'm in AA and are very supportive but I feel a lot of anger towards them. Is this common? I hate anyone mentioning anything about my illness and feel I retaliate with feelings I'm not used to dealing with. Any help/advise would be really appreciated.

One day at a time.

Leigh x

jaybee1

Hi Leigh. I hope it's normal because I'm going through the same thing. I can tell you that your definitely not alone that is for sure.

I'm on day 4.

Stoogy

Hi Leigh, the important thing here is one day at a time.

I have never attended AA meetings at all, I am quite a strong person mentally and I am doing my very best to tackle this challenge on my own at this point although I would never shut that door on myself as we never know what lies ahead of us in life.

I just do my upmost to ensure I stay sober today, it's really that simple.

Don't look to far ahead of yourself.
Take care Leigh.

SoberLeigh

Welcome, Leigh. Yes, one day at a time. It can be an emotional roller coaster at first (such highs and lows).

Glad you found SR.

(Nice name by the way).

Breadfin

Hi Leigh,

I am only one day more sober than you are, so I'm not sure I am the best person to respond, but I'll give you my opinion anyhow.

For starters, congrats on making it to day 8. You made the commitment and are sticking to it. As you say, one day at a time.

Why do you hate anyone mentioning it? Are you embarrassed? I'm not saying that you need to have an AA screensaver on your work computer, but maybe try embracing the New You and everything that you will have to offer to them.

You have to quit for you. Not for them. Perhaps you were using alcohol to avoid some feelings that are now being expressed in your sobriety? Of course, it could be a withdraw symptom as well. Can you tell us more about your feelings? It doesn't sound as if your anger is directed towards one individual, but to your entire network.

My first few days of sobriety I found myself getting really short with my co-workers towards the end of the day when I would start thinking about how I was not going to be able to buy alcohol on my way home. It still feels a bit odd not making that stop on my way. Do you constantly feel anger, or is it only at certain parts of the day as is the case for myself?

Foolsgold186

Thank you for the replies guys.

In all honesty emotions are running high for me on a regular basis. Anger, jealousy/resentment, feeling low/weak and general feelings of "why me" I'm scared of the ugliness sobriety is bringing out in me but I hope this passes and I deal with it as best as I can. I just feel pure hate, for myself mostly and why this has happened to "poor old me", not a pretty insight into myself and I've not even began the programme! Oh and fear....that it's only going to get worse.

I feel like saying to my family its me thats going through this? Why do you need to go to al anon and make it about you? I know how bad that sounds but its truly how I feel.

Generally hate feelings of "poor me" but its my feelings so I need to say it x

Verte

Hi Leigh,

Welcome to this forum! I've never done or experienced anything like this forum before in my life either It is an enormous support and resource.

The emotional roller coaster is so true! Emotions are all over the place. Perspectives about relationships have totally changed since I became sober about one month ago. My life is truly cast in a different life.

Every morning I wake up though, I have a bit more clarity as I stay focused on myself, my life and remaining clear and sober in my life and head.

Nice job on your 8 Days. Try to focus on yourself right now and not other people's emotions regarding your choice to remain sober. Protect your heart and mind the best you can as this is a big change!

Take care and welcome again.

Foolsgold186

Hi Breadfin,

Congratulations on your sobriery - well done.

I hate anyone mentioning it cause I feel judged. Everyday I feel a family member/friend or my partner has to say something, whether it be " you going to a meeting?", "you don't have a craving for drink do you?", "mum's worried about you", I just wish people would let me get on with things.

Thanks
Leigh

megacrankcase

Anger resentment, and frustration are natural at one week. That is probably the very worst time of it. For me it was. It will get better and you will gradually feel more content and peaceful. Hang in there.

SoberLeigh

Your emotions (and theirs) will level out with time; just take this one day at a time and try to be gentle with yourself; it is very hard in the beginning.

least

Welcome to SR and congrats on 8 days sober. Emotions are very rough at first, very up and down. This will pass with more sober time. Hang in there.

Foolsgold186

Thanks all! Responses really helped. Hopefully in time my thinking will improve.

Good luck to you all in your journey x

scintillady

This is my day 8 also. The first day 8 in over a year, so it's some kind of record. I also don't want anyone talking to me about my alcoholism. I finally admitted to my daughter last night that I have started taking antabuse and it has been a lifesaver. I know I can't stop and buy wine on the way home, there's no question about it, so I don't dwell on it any more. What a relief! About six months ago a friend of mine said she wouldn't help me do something if I didn't go to AA. I didn't go, don't want to go, and don't want to hear about it. When I have more sober months under my belt I'll contact her and see if she wants to rekindle our friendship. In the meantime I'll keep posting here, but feel that my personal life is nobody's business for now except my therapist and doctor.

Foolsgold186

Thanks to all for their responses, means a lot!

Good luck to you all on your journey x

Breadfin

Hi Leigh,

I understand totally. For me, though, it was about humbling myself, asking for help, and accepting everyone's input. My first day I called and text all of my close family and friends and told them that I was done. I probably spend 4 hours on the phone the first day explaining why I was doing it, what I had done to get me to a point of quitting, and generally just asking for support.

I think you might need to change your state. Instead of pushing away from the conversation, embrace it. Not only is it good to know they care, feel strong and encouraged that you are continuing on a journey that so many people need to make, but only a few ultimately decide to take.

Oh, and if anyone asks if you have a craving for a drink, you have permission to do the following....

Foolsgold186

I try to be humble but feel my life is being analysed at every turn, I know my feelings will change as time goes by but right now every kind word feels like a dig!

I'll take your advise on and try and be more forthcoming with information....even if it's through gritted teeth😐.

I'm lucky still to have people who care so know this resentment needs to go for me to move on positively (which is the aim here!!)

I'm getting sober for myself, I'll not manage it otherwise.

This site is great tho, found it extremely helpful and a way to vent (without hurting anyone's feelings)

L x

Chicagoan

Yes, one day at a time, that is true wisdom.
Most of us here live by those words.
For me, it works now that I thoroughly
understand it's meaning.

Coldfusion

Hello, Leigh! You're doing great, and eventually you and your family will just accept that you're a non-drinker.

Let me correct that to say that you're a non-alcohol-drinker. For me, it is important to have a beverage in my hand to prevent cravings, especially around others who are drinking alcohol. I drink seltzer water with a bit of lemon or lime in it; I start drinking first thing in the morning, drink before during and after dinner, then continue drinking into the evening. There is something very satisfying with that hand-to-mouth consumption of a soothing beverage.

Chicagoan

LOL!
Coffee in the morning, Gatorade
and juice in the evening.

Dee74

Hi Leigh

As others have said, early recovery is a bit of an emotional roller coaster for a while. Think of it like a dam - we walled our emotions up for a long time drinking - now, in sobriety, that dam wall has broken...

I had a lot of rage...it looked and felt like resentment at the time, but it was really misplaced rage shame embarrassment and guilt towards myself really.

Try thinking of the things you have to be grateful for. Make a list if you need to.

Try thinking of all the right things you're doing now and what you want your life to be too.

Things will get better Leigh

Glad you found us

D