help93

I am not new in understanding recovery so I am not sure if I am posting this in the correct thread, but I could really use some advice from people who know about alcoholism. So my mom was sober for 12 years and started drinking again when I was 8. For a long period she would be clean for months at a time, but could never hit the year mark. Finally when I was 14 she stayed sober for 6 years. She has been going through depression and extreme pain from a car accident for 2 years now.

She recently started drinking again about 6 months ago, but I have been away at college and did not realize how bad it was. My sister and Dad are fed up, as they have been dealing with it while I was gone. This past weekend she has been drinking heavily as well as taking morphine which she is prescribed. We threw away the alcohol, took her keys and money, and she has been in her room for most of the day. She was begging for a drink, and talking nasty to all of us (which we know not to take personal). My Dad is ready to kick her out for good.

I understand that there is nothing we can do for her unless she wants to get sober. I really do believe that she doesn't want to be like this. The advice we have gotten is that the only way to help her is by walking away and leaving her own her own. However, I am seriously worried that she will end up hurting herself or others from the effects. If we care about her, how is kicking her out going to be beneficial for her? Doesn't she need our support and for us to show her that we believe in her?

Dee74

Hi Help93

I know it seems almost counter intuitive but I really believe if people had kept bailling me out I may not be here today to tell the tale.

When I was sick and tired of the consequences of my drinking and bad decisions I sought help - because I wanted it.

I had to reach a point where I not only wanted to stop, but I was prepared to do whatever it took to get sober and stay that way.

But detachment is not just for the alcoholic. The stresses and strains on our loved ones can be devastating. Detachment is about them looking after them selves too.

Have you had any experience with AlAnon at all? People there can doubtless explain this better than I can, and will give you face to face support besides.

Our Family and Friends forums will be helpful to you as well - do check them out

and...don't lose hope. I turned my life around, so have hundreds of others here.
I hope and pray your mom will too

D

LBrain

Sorry to hear of the problem with your mom help93. I really cannot give advice one way or another about 'kicking her out'. What Dee says is so true.
Have you sought professional advice regarding this issue? Talk to prescribing doctor?

I've heard the stories and I've seen examples of people who stopped drinking only to get worse after years when they started again. But until she hits that point where drinking is worse than the alternative, she will continue to drink. I wish the best for you and your family.

IOAA2

Hi. Sudden removal of alcohol from an alcoholic can have some very serious effects, though I understand your reasons. I strongly suggest getting qualified medical help including perhaps a detox.

BE WELL

Cascabel

I agree, the serious effects can include death.

help93

Thank you for all of the responses. I have not tried AlAnon, but it's something I am considering. I told my dad that if were going to take away her alcohol we should take her in somewhere to detox, but he said that if she won't go then we can't take her...

She is ok right now and claims that she wants to get better. I offered to driver her to a meeting (which was probably a mistake but she can't drive right now) and she got upset and said to let her deal with that stuff (so I am). Anyway, thanks for all of the support and answers to my question!