thawk86

Hi, I'm looking for advice on how to deal with the social aspect of sobriety. I don't think I can be around social gatherings when alcohol is the main ingredient, but that's everything. Does it get easier? I'm afraid I'm going to end up distancing myself from all my friends.

Dee74

Hi Thawk

By the time I quit drinking and drugging most of my friends were drinkers and druggers too.

I'd tried just not drinking, but that never worked - it became clear to me that if I really wanted to get sober and stay that way I needed to make some pretty big lifestyle changes.

Some of my friends supported me, a lot didn't - but I made new friends, and reconnected with old ones I'd drifted away from cos of my drinking.

I don't think I lost out on the deal

It might seem like every social occasion has alcohol as the main ingredient but that's not true. I meet my friends for coffee, for pizza, you can play music together if you have that talent, or sports, get into hobbies.

The only limit is you imagination really

glad you found us - welcome aboard

D

Verte

Hi thawk86,

Welcome to the SoberRecovery forum

This is a really great question. How long have you been sober?

I'm just in my first month myself and have been around a few social gatherings with alcohol but it is definitely a different way of interacting now than before.

This site is a great way to slowly figure out how you want (and need) to relate to others when new to sobriety...in one month here I have met some neat people and great new friends

It is very, very supportive here. Jump in!

thawk86

Thank you. Great advice.

thawk86

I just started. I'm going to need all the support I can get. It's going to be very tough. But I need this.

MIRecovery

I found if alcohol was required for friendship the people were drinking buddies not friends

Rickh54

As I read thru the thread, I was going to make this exact comment. Great point MIReovery. When I decided to retire from drinking, I knew upfront which of my circle would support my decision. My true friends (wife, kids, long time couple friends) supported and understood my situation. My drinking buddies stopped calling pretty quickly. Fine with me.
This decision we have made is a more than just a decision to stay home one Friday nite and not go out with the boys to the saloon. This decision is a life changing event. Your changes include your total outlook on life going forward and that has to include who is on the ride with you. Some of your past associates just dont get a ticket...period. They add zero value to your life. They will be a detriment to your success. The sooner you recognize who who's who in you journey, the sooner you can get on with the business at hand.
Good luck to you my friend. You are young and have a good full life ahead of you. Congrats for recognizing the problem at this stage.

grubby

There is no *easy* answer to the "what do i do in social settings now?" question.................. and im sure most of us privately struggle with that very same dilemma, even if we dont mention it on here. I know its been on my mind quite a lot lately considering its now summer and grilling and party season is on.

Best thing would seem to be to simply adjust your hobbies or who you hang out with, maybe get some new activities?? I dont know, its tough man. We have to make a LOT of changes it seems............... quitting booze is simple, but not easy.

No easy answer at all, America and its culture in particular is alcohol-central so i certainly identify with the "left out of all the fun stuff" feeling.

You will feel like a kid whose had his toys and action figures taken away, it sucks.............. but it is necessary.

least

You may have to avoid certain social situations for a while. You'll find out soon enough who your real friends are.