justsomeone

and came out feeling wrung out, vulnerable, exposed...

but sober!

I went to a friend's birthday dinner. These are my old drinking buddies. I'm 83 days sober and was over confident. "I'll pass this over to God," I thought. It was so much more difficult than I imagined. The fact that I wasn't drinking was a BIG DEAL.
I couldn't hide my anxiety and awkwardness any more. I felt totally exposed. I couldn't wait for the night to finish.

But I made it. I suspect I have a few days of emotional recovery to do. I feel on the verge of tears. I will not put myself in that position again. Lesson learned.

HeadLump

You've faced a serious test and passed it with flying colours. Hold on to that! It will definitely get easier and you'll feel far less self conscious with time

SoberLeigh

Good news is - now you know and will avoid those situations.

Better news is - you remained sober despite a difficult situation and experience; flexed your sober muscles.

Best news is - it will get easier (with time) and sobriety gets better and better.

ReadyAtLast

You did well - congratulations to you for getting through it. I have been where you were but I drank Every time you get through a situation like this you will feel a bit stronger in your sobriety-not that I'm suggesting you go to lots of events like this but you know what I mean

justsomeone

Thanks everyone! I'm trying to hold on to the good parts! I have to admit, it is difficult to see how much I need to deal with my social anxiety now.

I had to deal with my clumsiness (spilling stuff all over the table) and saying awkward things all night. It was tough not being able to hide anymore.

But it's good to face reality and what I need to work on now.