Mistborn

I'm new so I thought I better post something here. About 10 months ago I lost my job and apt due to my drinking. I then moved home to my parents and continued drinking and using pills for a few months til I found myself in the hospital. I was inpatient for a little and then went through an outpatient program and started feeling better about myself. I have found a new job and moved into my own place again. Obviously things have gotten a lot better for me but recently things are feeling hopeless. In the past 5 months ive drank six times. I have social anxiety and have always used alcohol to be social especially with the opposite sex. I'm very isolated other than my family and have such an urge to drink in order to feel connected and hang out with people. This past Saturday I went back to the city and got annihilated and it felt good to be with my old friends and having fun for a few hours and then I blacked out and really hurt other people's feelings. I drank a little the next day once I got home Sunday because I felt so bad and luckily went to sleep and forced myself to go to work Monday. Although I know drinking six times isn't much but each time it takes me so long to recover from mentally. This last time really has me depressed and unsure. I know I'm so much better off sober but never touching or feeling close to others because of my social phobia always brings me back to the booze.

Well...it feels good to have said that.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you're concerned about the drinking times because, as we all know, it will get worse. That's what alcoholism does.

I think it's really, really important to recognize that changes need to be made in order to recover. You use alcohol to connect with people and you were feeling lonely. My suggestion would be to find other ways to connect with people. It might feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but you will get to know people and relax. What kinds of things do you like to do? I think volunteer work is a great way to meet new people in a comfortable way and make new friends. Or how about joining a gym or sports team? I belong to a book club and we meet for coffee.

RevivingOphelia

Welcome and glad you're here

Mistborn

Thanks. I use to play a lot of basketball and definitely need to get back in the gym. It's been difficult to get myself to go but I know it's worth it. I have to just start forcing myself. Book club sounds cool. I read a lot but mostly just fantasy and Sci Fi. I've been trying online dating but that hasn't gone so well. Haha.

Dee74

Welcome Mistborn

I think a lot of people get hung up on how often they drink.

I certainly drank often - but for me, and it looks like for you, it was always about how it made you feel.

Alcohol changed me and not for the better. To make it worse I was always torturing myself trying to remember the crappy things I'd done.

It got so I can't remember a lot about whole years let alone specific nights.

You're very wise to look at this now rather than later

It feels awesome not having to be ashamed of myself anymore

D

Chicagoan

I know that staying occupied helps.

LBrain

Hi Mistborn, social anxiety was my excuse many many years ago. After a while, I didn't any excuse at all.
In the long run alcohol made it worse. You already know that those few hours of fun were not worth it after blacking out and drinking the next day to get over it. Stay in the habit of not drinking and working on yourself. You'll be much happier.

GwenCummings

Hi there. What is your current plan for sobriety? Are you following any sort of programme? Are you a meetings kind of person?

Verte

Hi Mistborn and welcome to the forum.

This is a great group to bounce thoughts off of as they arise.

It really helps to have a professional like a therapist, addiction counselor or, like Gwen suggested, a program to help make the changes that are needed for the life that you want and need.

Everyone here has a story and goal as well. You are in good company.