dollbaby115

my boyfriend has been in this religious rehab for 3 weeks now, he was on subutex and then relapsed and had a binge on crack before he left, i spent so much time with him before he left and he was very emotional clearly and just went on and on how he loved me and was so sorry.

we were together for 2 years. This mission is only immediate family that can talk to him... and the first 2 months are only letters. i am very close with his brother so we have been talking back and forth for the past few weeks, his brother called me the other night and told me that my bf had snuck a letter in his letter when he sent it so i got one, i was so excited, i went over his house to get it and read what my bf said, he kept going on that he missed me and he was withdrawling and he was sorry and that he loved me and etc, etc.

i do not want to sound selfish at all -- i guess what im asking advice on is this, i am currently living my life.. im doing whats good for me just how he is... i know this sounds bad asking, but i never dealt with a situation like this someone going to rehab so i guess i really dont know. i cant blieve im really questioning this however how are things when people go into and come out of rehab. i still love him so much, i dont use drugs or ever have so i might be a blind sided at this, i would do any and every thing for him, its just hard, i do not ever want him thinking i would leave him or give on up on him, but is it the states he in that he is writing this emotional stuff.. i mean how are people when they go away and all he could be away for 9 months total.. i guess whatevers meant to be is meant to be

i appreciate every and any advice.

Raider

Well sometimes we go to rehab and never look back. And then there are people like me, who relapsed right out of rehab. There is no way to tell what will happen. Focus on you, let the rest take care of itself. You can't control it.

Ann

I agree with Raider. Rehab is not a cure, it helps them deal with issues that trigger their addiction and gives them tools to use once they leave, to avoid relapse. Some use these tools well, and stay sober. Others relapse many times and may come and go in rehabs for years, like my son.

The best thing you can do while he is in rehab is to work on finding your own balance and making some hard decisions about how you want to spend your life.

My prayers go out for both of you, rehab is a positive experience and I hope when it is over there are better roads ahead for you both.

Hugs

Txhelp

I agree with what the others have said...

You may want to go to some meetings-Al-anon; Nar anon, Celebrate Recovery...even the NA or AA meetings themselves. Basically, educate yourself about what addiction looks like-long term and ways that you can set boundaries for yourself.

It can be a very long road, a lifelong struggle, and not about loving the person enough.

BlueBones

Please find yourself a meeting and attend it, often. At times, this is the only thing that keeps me going. I regret that I stopped attending my NarAnon meeting. My SO came out of rehab and did great! He came home, got a job, focused on him....he had almost a year clean and sober, and just relapsed recently. You can't predict what will happen or when. Take care of yourself and keep yourself happy. Once you lose that it is very hard to get back.

bellanoviella

Are you questioning whether you should stick it out with him or not, because he's usually not all sweet and emotional like he is currently being? He's in a very vulnerable state right now.. I'm sure he means what he is saying to you, it's just hard to think it will stay that way once he gets home.. I'm sorry I can't really offer any advice. I'm, too, trying to decide what is best for me to do in my relationship also.