Psalm5110

At the end of March, I discovered my husband's hidden alcoholism and we separated. Over Easter weekend, he was arrested for drunk driving. Later that week, he started admitting he had a problem.

He began attending AA. He started working with an addiction specialist two weeks ago. He invited me to this week's individual session and it was so encouraging. The therapist is a no-nonsense taskmaster with an excellent success rate, and my husband has said from the beginning how much he likes her.

He has been lying and manipulating me for at least two years. But I now see sincerity in his acceptance of his alcoholism and a genuine desire to recover. I see a resolve to fight this battle. He may not like the lines I've drawn - for example, we will remain separated through my maternity leave, which should be most of the summer - but he does not seem angry about them, perhaps because his therapist makes him examine them from different perspectives. He realizes I love him and though he is scared to share the story of his addiction with me, I believe that time is coming soon.

He has not had a drink in over 30 days. He has much work to do, but I am proud of him. And I am proud of me for putting myself and our children first, making tough choices, and yet also taking a great leap of faith to start letting him back into my life when his actions show he is truly working to recover.

HopefulinFLA

That is great news! I hope your husband continues down this path.

Best wishes to you both.

Katchie

All I can say is, WOW! Im proud of you for standing up and being the wife and mother you need to be, but first and for most, for taking care of yourself. I wish I had had your strength early on when I first came to the understanding that my husband was an alcoholic and at least after his first DUI. I didn't have that kind of strength, so good for you! You are an inspiration ;-)

iSPAZ

I wish I had your strength to stick to my boundaries. I did not and things eventually got unbearable.

Psalm5110

Thanks, everyone! I am blessed with a great support system and I'm a pretty strong (stubborn?) person, so setting and sticking to my boundaries has kind of been the easy part. The hard part has been allowing myself to hope he can get better...to try to let him make up for past hurts...to risk having my heart broken again.

But I remember the man I fell in love with, and he was a really, really good man. He's started to show that he wants to be that man again, and I need to have faith he can come back, stronger and better than ever.

The addiction specialist said, "I think I have the best job in the world because I get to see miracles. I think you guys can be a miracle." Perhaps she's right.

CodeJob

Psalm, thank you so much for sharing such positive progress for both of you!

Psalm5110

It's been awhile since I posted, but I am in the mood to share an update. Things continue to go well with my husband. He is still sober - over 60 days now - and continues to work hard on his recovery. Each week, he attends two AA meetings; has both group and individual sessions with an addiction specialist; and sees a personal counselor. I go to many of the therapy sessions with him and am using many of the same tools he is learning to help with my own recovery.

Our second son was born at the end of May and I spent the first five weeks at my parents' house. Now the boys and I are back home and we are trying to reestablish ourselves as a family. It is not easy but I am thankful for each good day we have.