Desire to stop drinking ! Solved.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
Liss, people are only trying to help you. No one is saying it is easy,we know it is not easy. in fact it's flippin hard work 
But having a desire to and desperately wanting stop drinking is the first step to getting sober.
But having a desire to and desperately wanting stop drinking is the first step to getting sober.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: PA
Posts: 12,000
Liss, having a desire to stop drinking does not solve anything. Having the commitment and strength to do it are what counts. Going to a rehab/detox facility is only the first part of it. It will give you supervised care and instruction to get you through the early phases of the addiction. It will keep you safe through the withdrawal phase. You will learn processes to cope with alcohol desires by the various methods and instruction you receive.
When you leave, no matter what kind of program you choose to assist you in recovery, it is up to you to stay off it. So for AA, the desire to stop drinking is what gets you in the door. Desire alone will not save you from drinking. Action will. It is up to you to make a commitment to stop and stay stopped. It won't be easy. But it is very simple - just don't drink today, this hour or whatever time frame you need to break down to. Just for this moment in time, if you don't pick up a drink you will be free from alcohol.
When you leave, no matter what kind of program you choose to assist you in recovery, it is up to you to stay off it. So for AA, the desire to stop drinking is what gets you in the door. Desire alone will not save you from drinking. Action will. It is up to you to make a commitment to stop and stay stopped. It won't be easy. But it is very simple - just don't drink today, this hour or whatever time frame you need to break down to. Just for this moment in time, if you don't pick up a drink you will be free from alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
as dee and ready stated, it isn't easy. we know that. weve been there. im sure theres many here(including myself) that if it was that easy we woulda stopped a LONG time before we did.
what I also needed was a willingness to go to any lengths. IMO, goin to detox is a great start for ya, but PLEASE remember that there will be more work involved,work on changing you, after ya get out. it may not be easy, but It will be worth it.
what I also needed was a willingness to go to any lengths. IMO, goin to detox is a great start for ya, but PLEASE remember that there will be more work involved,work on changing you, after ya get out. it may not be easy, but It will be worth it.
Mini Novel Post Writer
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Maine
Posts: 3,649
Hi liss,
I think that it's hard when you're having a tough time to come on here and read the things that you don't want to see. People who have had success when you're fighting so hard and going through the struggle.
Not drinking is the easy part. Finding the desire, not just the desire, but the true desire, is hard. Then, to maintain that desire under any circumstance is just that much harder.
I would be willing to place a bet that you would never find a person on this board who just made up their mind to quit and just walked way like it was no big deal. If they did they wouldn't be here. We all struggled and we all were exactly right where you are right now. There have been times over the past year that I wanted to tear my hair out of my head and rip my eyeballs out because I wanted a drink so bad.
The only thing that I can offer you is hope. I understand exactly how you're feeling right now. This is hard work, probably one of, if not the hardest things that you'll do in life. You have to find something that you can go to when it gets bad and SR is a great place to come.
More importantly, you can do this for no one else but yourself. I never got that in all the times that I tried before. I was always quitting because everyone wanted me to. Everyone wanted to take my friend away from me. It wasn't until I realized that my life was a living hell and I didn't care what anyone else wanted for me, I wanted it. A defining moment was when my husband didn't get all excited that I hit 30 days and he looked at me and said "I'm not worried about 30 days, I'm worried about 90 days and forward". That made me mad. I looked at him and said "Hey, this belongs to ME, not to YOU, You just get to reap the benefits of it."
Own your sobriety, it belongs to YOU and to no one else. Cherish it, guard it, and protect it. No one can take it away from you but you.
You CAN do this and although you might be taking comments from people as "yup, it's just THAT easy" understand that they're reaching out to you and not making light of quitting drinking. We have all been where you are right now and we all understand exactly how you're feeling and for lack of a better way to put it, it sucks.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, you just have to walk over the spikes to get there. Everyone here can help you navigate over them and the more distance you put between you and that last drink the better it gets. I'm not saying right away but there will come a day that you will reread some of your posts and get exactly what I'm saying.
You CAN do this Liss, and we will be here with you every step of the way. You deserve a good life and that bottle is getting in the way of it.
I think that it's hard when you're having a tough time to come on here and read the things that you don't want to see. People who have had success when you're fighting so hard and going through the struggle.
Not drinking is the easy part. Finding the desire, not just the desire, but the true desire, is hard. Then, to maintain that desire under any circumstance is just that much harder.
I would be willing to place a bet that you would never find a person on this board who just made up their mind to quit and just walked way like it was no big deal. If they did they wouldn't be here. We all struggled and we all were exactly right where you are right now. There have been times over the past year that I wanted to tear my hair out of my head and rip my eyeballs out because I wanted a drink so bad.
The only thing that I can offer you is hope. I understand exactly how you're feeling right now. This is hard work, probably one of, if not the hardest things that you'll do in life. You have to find something that you can go to when it gets bad and SR is a great place to come.
More importantly, you can do this for no one else but yourself. I never got that in all the times that I tried before. I was always quitting because everyone wanted me to. Everyone wanted to take my friend away from me. It wasn't until I realized that my life was a living hell and I didn't care what anyone else wanted for me, I wanted it. A defining moment was when my husband didn't get all excited that I hit 30 days and he looked at me and said "I'm not worried about 30 days, I'm worried about 90 days and forward". That made me mad. I looked at him and said "Hey, this belongs to ME, not to YOU, You just get to reap the benefits of it."
Own your sobriety, it belongs to YOU and to no one else. Cherish it, guard it, and protect it. No one can take it away from you but you.
You CAN do this and although you might be taking comments from people as "yup, it's just THAT easy" understand that they're reaching out to you and not making light of quitting drinking. We have all been where you are right now and we all understand exactly how you're feeling and for lack of a better way to put it, it sucks.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, you just have to walk over the spikes to get there. Everyone here can help you navigate over them and the more distance you put between you and that last drink the better it gets. I'm not saying right away but there will come a day that you will reread some of your posts and get exactly what I'm saying.
You CAN do this Liss, and we will be here with you every step of the way. You deserve a good life and that bottle is getting in the way of it.
Realising my life
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Dorset, England
Posts: 3,656
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527 
Hi liss,
I think that it's hard when you're having a tough time to come on here and read the things that you don't want to see. People who have had success when you're fighting so hard and going through the struggle.
Not drinking is the easy part. Finding the desire, not just the desire, but the true desire, is hard. Then, to maintain that desire under any circumstance is just that much harder.
I would be willing to place a bet that you would never find a person on this board who just made up their mind to quit and just walked way like it was no big deal. If they did they wouldn't be here. We all struggled and we all were exactly right where you are right now. There have been times over the past year that I wanted to tear my hair out of my head and rip my eyeballs out because I wanted a drink so bad.
The only thing that I can offer you is hope. I understand exactly how you're feeling right now. This is hard work, probably one of, if not the hardest things that you'll do in life. You have to find something that you can go to when it gets bad and SR is a great place to come.
More importantly, you can do this for no one else but yourself. I never got that in all the times that I tried before. I was always quitting because everyone wanted me to. Everyone wanted to take my friend away from me. It wasn't until I realized that my life was a living hell and I didn't care what anyone else wanted for me, I wanted it. A defining moment was when my husband didn't get all excited that I hit 30 days and he looked at me and said "I'm not worried about 30 days, I'm worried about 90 days and forward". That made me mad. I looked at him and said "Hey, this belongs to ME, not to YOU, You just get to reap the benefits of it."
Own your sobriety, it belongs to YOU and to no one else. Cherish it, guard it, and protect it. No one can take it away from you but you.
You CAN do this and although you might be taking comments from people as "yup, it's just THAT easy" understand that they're reaching out to you and not making light of quitting drinking. We have all been where you are right now and we all understand exactly how you're feeling and for lack of a better way to put it, it sucks.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, you just have to walk over the spikes to get there. Everyone here can help you navigate over them and the more distance you put between you and that last drink the better it gets. I'm not saying right away but there will come a day that you will reread some of your posts and get exactly what I'm saying.
You CAN do this Liss, and we will be here with you every step of the way. You deserve a good life and that bottle is getting in the way of it.
I think that it's hard when you're having a tough time to come on here and read the things that you don't want to see. People who have had success when you're fighting so hard and going through the struggle.
Not drinking is the easy part. Finding the desire, not just the desire, but the true desire, is hard. Then, to maintain that desire under any circumstance is just that much harder.
I would be willing to place a bet that you would never find a person on this board who just made up their mind to quit and just walked way like it was no big deal. If they did they wouldn't be here. We all struggled and we all were exactly right where you are right now. There have been times over the past year that I wanted to tear my hair out of my head and rip my eyeballs out because I wanted a drink so bad.
The only thing that I can offer you is hope. I understand exactly how you're feeling right now. This is hard work, probably one of, if not the hardest things that you'll do in life. You have to find something that you can go to when it gets bad and SR is a great place to come.
More importantly, you can do this for no one else but yourself. I never got that in all the times that I tried before. I was always quitting because everyone wanted me to. Everyone wanted to take my friend away from me. It wasn't until I realized that my life was a living hell and I didn't care what anyone else wanted for me, I wanted it. A defining moment was when my husband didn't get all excited that I hit 30 days and he looked at me and said "I'm not worried about 30 days, I'm worried about 90 days and forward". That made me mad. I looked at him and said "Hey, this belongs to ME, not to YOU, You just get to reap the benefits of it."
Own your sobriety, it belongs to YOU and to no one else. Cherish it, guard it, and protect it. No one can take it away from you but you.
You CAN do this and although you might be taking comments from people as "yup, it's just THAT easy" understand that they're reaching out to you and not making light of quitting drinking. We have all been where you are right now and we all understand exactly how you're feeling and for lack of a better way to put it, it sucks.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, you just have to walk over the spikes to get there. Everyone here can help you navigate over them and the more distance you put between you and that last drink the better it gets. I'm not saying right away but there will come a day that you will reread some of your posts and get exactly what I'm saying.
You CAN do this Liss, and we will be here with you every step of the way. You deserve a good life and that bottle is getting in the way of it.
♥♥
Member
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: North of England
Posts: 1,442
MY own view is that we don't really stop until we want to. That sounds simple enough, but a lot of us (me included) stopped in the past because we felt so awful and wanted a respite - a dryout period perhaps and managed to scrape a few days, weeks or months together before we started again. Somewhere lurking in there, for me anyway, has been the desire to drink without the suffering, which I do for the first week or two after a dry period. Then the madness starts again - the anxiety, the crazy thinking, the feeling crap and ill, the mend-bending life of active alcoholism.
I have had enough of that. I am beaten by the roller coaster and now I really really want to stop. I very much hope and plan to.
I have had enough of that. I am beaten by the roller coaster and now I really really want to stop. I very much hope and plan to.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
It helped me to look around the bottle and see what was on the other side and over on the other side there were things that I wanted -- relationships, work, exercise, creativity and so on. In the way was the bottle, the bottle stood between me and the stuff I really wanted. So taking the bottle away let me have those things and eventually I wanted to take the bottle away.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: UK
Posts: 375
If we have anger and bitterness inside us alcohol will feed it. I have vile memories of ranting at the world, trying to throw myself in front of cars because I hated the anonymous drivers enough to want to traumatise them for life. Anger in a drunk ' s eyes is not an uncommon sight. Anger in a drunk ' s words is not unusual. I wouldn't worry what happens on the other side of the detox for now. Getting to detox will be a big achievement if it is done with an open mind. I hope the baby gets well really soon. X
Member
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: East Coast USA
Posts: 120,872
Originally Posted by LadyBlue0527
Hi liss,
I think that it's hard when you're having a tough time to come on here and read the things that you don't want to see. People who have had success when you're fighting so hard and going through the struggle.
Not drinking is the easy part. Finding the desire, not just the desire, but the true desire, is hard. Then, to maintain that desire under any circumstance is just that much harder.
I would be willing to place a bet that you would never find a person on this board who just made up their mind to quit and just walked way like it was no big deal. If they did they wouldn't be here. We all struggled and we all were exactly right where you are right now. There have been times over the past year that I wanted to tear my hair out of my head and rip my eyeballs out because I wanted a drink so bad.
The only thing that I can offer you is hope. I understand exactly how you're feeling right now. This is hard work, probably one of, if not the hardest things that you'll do in life. You have to find something that you can go to when it gets bad and SR is a great place to come.
More importantly, you can do this for no one else but yourself. I never got that in all the times that I tried before. I was always quitting because everyone wanted me to. Everyone wanted to take my friend away from me. It wasn't until I realized that my life was a living hell and I didn't care what anyone else wanted for me, I wanted it. A defining moment was when my husband didn't get all excited that I hit 30 days and he looked at me and said "I'm not worried about 30 days, I'm worried about 90 days and forward". That made me mad. I looked at him and said "Hey, this belongs to ME, not to YOU, You just get to reap the benefits of it."
Own your sobriety, it belongs to YOU and to no one else. Cherish it, guard it, and protect it. No one can take it away from you but you.
You CAN do this and although you might be taking comments from people as "yup, it's just THAT easy" understand that they're reaching out to you and not making light of quitting drinking. We have all been where you are right now and we all understand exactly how you're feeling and for lack of a better way to put it, it sucks.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, you just have to walk over the spikes to get there. Everyone here can help you navigate over them and the more distance you put between you and that last drink the better it gets. I'm not saying right away but there will come a day that you will reread some of your posts and get exactly what I'm saying.
You CAN do this Liss, and we will be here with you every step of the way. You deserve a good life and that bottle is getting in the way of it.
I think that it's hard when you're having a tough time to come on here and read the things that you don't want to see. People who have had success when you're fighting so hard and going through the struggle.
Not drinking is the easy part. Finding the desire, not just the desire, but the true desire, is hard. Then, to maintain that desire under any circumstance is just that much harder.
I would be willing to place a bet that you would never find a person on this board who just made up their mind to quit and just walked way like it was no big deal. If they did they wouldn't be here. We all struggled and we all were exactly right where you are right now. There have been times over the past year that I wanted to tear my hair out of my head and rip my eyeballs out because I wanted a drink so bad.
The only thing that I can offer you is hope. I understand exactly how you're feeling right now. This is hard work, probably one of, if not the hardest things that you'll do in life. You have to find something that you can go to when it gets bad and SR is a great place to come.
More importantly, you can do this for no one else but yourself. I never got that in all the times that I tried before. I was always quitting because everyone wanted me to. Everyone wanted to take my friend away from me. It wasn't until I realized that my life was a living hell and I didn't care what anyone else wanted for me, I wanted it. A defining moment was when my husband didn't get all excited that I hit 30 days and he looked at me and said "I'm not worried about 30 days, I'm worried about 90 days and forward". That made me mad. I looked at him and said "Hey, this belongs to ME, not to YOU, You just get to reap the benefits of it."
Own your sobriety, it belongs to YOU and to no one else. Cherish it, guard it, and protect it. No one can take it away from you but you.
You CAN do this and although you might be taking comments from people as "yup, it's just THAT easy" understand that they're reaching out to you and not making light of quitting drinking. We have all been where you are right now and we all understand exactly how you're feeling and for lack of a better way to put it, it sucks.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel though, you just have to walk over the spikes to get there. Everyone here can help you navigate over them and the more distance you put between you and that last drink the better it gets. I'm not saying right away but there will come a day that you will reread some of your posts and get exactly what I'm saying.
You CAN do this Liss, and we will be here with you every step of the way. You deserve a good life and that bottle is getting in the way of it.
Liss - it is not easy AT ALL. I, and so many others, want desperately to see you succeed. Behind every post (even the ones that may seem harsh) is a wish for your success. Everyone has a different way of expressing that wish.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Engerland
Posts: 897
I stopped, found the grace to stop, when the pain of drinking became greater than the pain of living sober.
I was one of the lucky ones.
13 months sober,and of hard work to stay that way, and the pain of years is lessening.
G
I was one of the lucky ones.
13 months sober,and of hard work to stay that way, and the pain of years is lessening.
G
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 9,029
What Lady Blue said. I understand you. I hope your children are feeling better today. I hope that you are feeling better today. It is easy for people to say "pour it out. Don't drink it." I could never do that, ever. I'd have thumbed my nose at everyone and everything and finished it. I hated myself for drinking and hated the world for telling me to stop. I carried a lot of anger around for a long, long time. Some of it is still there but I know it for what it is.
If you are like me, detox will feel like a spa retreat because I could carefully and safely let go. Someone else was looking after my well being and i didn't have to be so bloody responsible for everything for a change. I was so tightly wound I would probably have broken soon. But I didn't.
Rest easy today. It is a new day.
If you are like me, detox will feel like a spa retreat because I could carefully and safely let go. Someone else was looking after my well being and i didn't have to be so bloody responsible for everything for a change. I was so tightly wound I would probably have broken soon. But I didn't.
Rest easy today. It is a new day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
Originally Posted by Ruby2
What Lady Blue said. I understand you. I hope your children are feeling better today. I hope that you are feeling better today. It is easy for people to say "pour it out. Don't drink it." I could never do that, ever. I'd have thumbed my nose at everyone and everything and finished it. I hated myself for drinking and hated the world for telling me to stop. I carried a lot of anger around for a long, long time. Some of it is still there but I know it for what it is. If you are like me, detox will feel like a spa retreat because I could carefully and safely let go. Someone else was looking after my well being and i didn't have to be so bloody responsible for everything for a change. I was so tightly wound I would probably have broken soon. But I didn't. Rest easy today. It is a new day.
omg I love my kids and want to b a good mum but all I know is to dull the stress pain !!! I'm aware know and know if nothing changes nothing changes . Detox is a massive step for me being away from my kids
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,031
Originally Posted by Goldcoastgirl
My daughter had her tonsils out when she was 5 and it was so scary. They always want you close at times like this. Hope she is feeling better tomorrow x
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