Misc72

170 days sober. The longer I stay sober the louder the AV is in my head saying, you can handle it now. You can drink once in a while and it's just fine. You have punished yourself long enough with this thing called, 'sobriety'. That is what happened last time, and then I couldn't handle it after a while and ended up in a bad way.

I feel hopeless when I hear that voice. I don't ever want to go back to that life. But the nightmares won't stop. I dream that I relapse all the time. In fact I woke up one morning thinking I had a hangover, but I hadn't drank in months. But I still remember the pain of hangovers. I'm almost at six months and very proud of myself. Just feeling weird lately... Maybe this is normal since alcohol has been part of my entire life in one way or another since I was born.

sugarbear1

Keep moving forward!!! You CAN stay stopped, too!

hardhearts

Drunk dreams are fairly common, apparently. I've only had one myself but it was a very uncomfortable experience.

I talk myself in circles constantly. My two cents, if you are feeling like sobriety is a punishment, that might be a sign of how much you really need it. Congrats on your time, what an accomplishment. Keep it up, one day at a time. Best to you x

thenewguy

The weather is getting to be awesome here, I'm almost nine months sober, and I'm starting to feel the same nostalgia.

I guess the best thing we can do is to go back to that last hangover or alcohol-induced sickness, and remember what motivated us to quit in the first place. I believe they call that "playing the tape".

I don't ever want to go back to last August, when I was laying in my bed in the 95-degree heat of my apartment, feeling like I was on the verge of a seizure or worse after slamming 14 beers the night before.

Do you have a similar episode to draw on? I think we all have that moment where we cross the threshold and say 'enough is enough'.

Kind regards...

LadyBlue0527

Sunshine what are you doing to be active in recovery?

There are milestones where it can creep back on you but the more you enjoy sober life the less harsh the words of the AV are.

Do you see sobriety as punishment?

LBrain

make a change of scenery. If it's just a walk around the block.

Don't give in. You've come this far - it doesn't make sense to quit now.

Dee74

Most of us at some time have confused 'abstinence' with 'control' Sunshine.

Let the 'alcoholic astronauts' who have gone before you, tell you...

they are not the same thing

Don't do it...tell your AV to take a hike

D

jason2

Sounds like you've developed some kind of fear of relapse. How do you define relapse?

Anna

I wonder why you look at sobriety as punishment?

I hope you would find it to be a great way to live your life. Have you made changes in your life, besides stopping drinking, that have made you happy?

Soberella66

Im sorry you are having nightmares. Congratulations on your milestone. Many haven't gotten six months and have been trying for years. I hope you want to move on more than give up. There's nothing in the world worth losing that.

Misc72

To answer some questions, I know sobriety is a blessing. It's that AV telling me it's punishment. I know that actively drinking is actually the punishment. I get frustrated when I know this fact, and I still have that voice in my head telling me it's o.k to drink again. It's never going to be ok to drink again. I just thought after almost 6 months, it would go away. Most days it's the furthest thing from my mind, because I'm busy loving life and living life. But then wham, it sneaks up on my big time. It is always right there on my back. I have to keep it at bay by working each day on recovery and appreciating and cherishing my life on sober terms. I appreciate all the thoughts and well wishes.

least

Congrats on 170 days sober!

airwick

please don't give up now. I am at two months, what I would do to be in yours shoes. You've accomplished what I am trying so hard to do. You are there, you are at that six months of sobriety. You've been through the tiredness, the anxiety, the irrational aspects of the recovery. You are were I CAN'T WAIT TO BE!!!!

Now is the time that you must b strong. Tell yourself over and over again that you can, and will stay sober. That you can and will be an example to those who are traveling down that same path to recovery ( like myself )

I'm relying on YOU to show me it can be done!!!!

I put a lot of responsibility on you huh?

I know you will do me proud

Thanks in Advance

AlcoholFree66

Sunshine - I've had those exact thoughts in the past and acted on them after long periods of sobriety. The thoughts are always wrong. I CAN NOT handle alcohol.

Misc72

airwick: thank you so much. I never looked at myself as a 'good' example. What a different perspective that is so very helpful. This is why I LOVE SoberRecovery!!

drunkenunicorn

it's a battle we have to face every day but just keep making the decision to choose to be sober, happy, and healthy. don't give in. if you do these 170 days would've been for nothing. stay strong!!!!

happyandfree

It's such a strange thing that we love (and hate) something that is so bad for us. We struggle so hard to give it up, th e n we miss it when it's gone. The AV is like the devil on our shoulder whispering in our ear that it's really ok. I still associate alcohol with fun. I am going to sit down and make a list of all the reasons why it is NOT fun. And I'm going to tape the list to my refrigerator and see it all day until I get it into my thick skull that alcohol is bad for me! We all need to resist the temptation. We will be happier in the long run I