hopeful4

So, my XAH is picking up my little DD today to take her kite flying. He knows that we just turned in the divorce papers and that it would be on the courts website soon. Well, someone (I am guessing his sister) looked it up and told him it's on there. I had not even looked. It just shows our case and the names of the docs we filed. It's really no big deal at all.

Well, of course he got all pi$$y w/me because it's on there, as if I can keep it off of there! LOL...goodness. He then backed up and said I would understand if this was happening to someone I care about (him). I just said OK, have fun flying kites, and bye.

I am not letting this get under my skin. It just wears me out not knowing what you will get. Really, I think I would rather him be a jerk all the time than be really nice one day and an a$$ 10 mins later. I could not care less for me but don't need him mouthing off to our DD who is only 8.

Well, it is out of my control. I can only hope he has a nice time w/her and that he does not act like an 8 yr old himself.

Sigh.....

Thanks for letting me vent.

Refiner

LOL!!! Good for you... water off a duck's back, I tell ya!!! :-D

hopeful4

LOL, thank you. It just gets really really old and I have to deal with this man for a very very long time. Sigh......

Pia

I know I don't have kids with X but thought I would suggest this anyways. I realzed I am a reactionary. I reacted to everything he said and did. So what I learned to do was just count when he would come over. I got to 900 last time he was here. Then he ran out of breathe and I thanked him for coming over and good bye.

hopeful4

I will remember that Radiant, thanks!

I do try breathing techniques when I remember as that really does work. However, I too am a reactionary type person and have to fight this the whole way.

So today I literally meant go fly a kite!

Bullfrog

Hopeful4, you are continuously writing posts that I could have written myself.

FireSprite

Yeah, that's a pretty standard activity these days, having everything uploaded online. It was always a matter of public record, the public just has easier access now, right?

I just love how it matters what OTHER people think, that the humiliation of having it online for the world to view is somehow worse than the damage to his family from his addiction. It's amazing the way people can justify & compartmentalize to make things more or less palatable.

Altho - I have to admit I LOL'd when I realized you had basically responded by telling him to "go fly a kite"....

hopeful4

Bullfrog...it's a sad fact that we are all in this crappy boat together.

I have said before and I mean this. I wish it were some wonderful thing that has brought us all together here at SR since we are a group of such fabulous people LOL! Truly, why can't it be that we all have a passion for the same XXX (fill in whatever you wish here), instead of that we all come here for support because we have to deal with the crappy addicts in our lives.

XXX

hopeful4

Yes FS, that is right. We both would rather it not be on there, but it is public record and this wonderful state puts it all online. I think that is crazy b/c it posts your address and everything, which I think is wrong. However, he knew I was filing the papers, he is the one who brought me his, notorized. It's not like I have a magic wand to keep it off there. Maybe his nosey sister should butt out and realize she just sets him off when she points out things like that. O well, I've no control over that.

I liked telling him to go fly a kite! Not sure he got that but I sure did!!

Pia

I never remember the breathing techniques but counting I did lol

He could tell me what ever he wanted and I wouldn't know because I was just counting and the best part he couldn't read my face. I am horrible about facial expressions my face tells everything.
He was so messed up he probably has no idea he was even here of had the conversation to begin with.

If I have to talk to him again I think I will start with 900 and go backwards that will keep me preoccupied

MissFixit

The fact that stuff is easily accessible online can be a good thing if you need to check out someone to see if they have a record. This was not a mindset I had years ago, but now yes, I want to know all I can about people close to me (new people in my life personally and professionally).

I went out with someone briefly a couple years ago and looked him up after I found out he had a girlfriend (we had been dating a month or two). Anyway, he had like 2 dozen civil suits against him for various types of fraud, bankruptcy, foreclosure, non-payment of things. The theme of deceit and dishonesty was very present. Now, I would check someone out before dating them or taking a job.

hopeful4

I dont mind it being on there but dont like my home address posted just because im a single mom and dont think people need that info.