Researchneeded

My daughter is on her second recovery program and because she could not comply with not having relations with the males at the facility due her obsessive need for attention diagnosis Histronic Personality Disorder. We were not seeking to take her kids from foster care but to make sure we saw them. The kids were in need of a home and rather than a lifetime of foster care we applied for custody. She was grateful till she realized that we would not be walking post and the court ordered her visits supervised. She has threaten to throw me jail for not taking kids to see her. THe problem is that she refused us as the court ordered supervisors and wants kids alone and has made threats against her little sister about calling allegiations. She did to the last people. She also tells me that the kids must have no interaction with previous foster care people or I would be putting kids in arms way but she calls and hangs with them regularly and this is after she insisted the foster sister was abusing one of the children. After two visits in 8 months she insist that it is mothers day and the kids must see her. SHe is sober and her reward is seeing her kids on that day. Last year she promised to meet us at the zoo and her oldest sobbed for an hour. I also turned down my son's invite to make this visit happen for her last year. He died five weeks later. I will never forget the disappointment in my son's voice when I said I would love to spend the day with you but I promised llresponsible herorin addict sister that she would see her kids. This year I was told that she would have me arrested if I did not show up with kids. I went to court house filed for modification of visitation based on mental health reasons and she has not given us anything to prove sobriety. I ask her to go the family counseling and her kids heard her scream in my cell phone (wasn't on speaker) "I have no family so what is the point? Now she has family but is using her her new found sobierty. she wants everyone to run to her assistance. I Have heard this before.

JustAYak

I am very happy you have the kids and not her. Living with an addict is torture (I speak from experience). How old are the kids? Is it possible to let them decide if they want to see their mom or not? If you have guardianship over her kids, you cannot be arrested unless you do not comply with the visitation rules laid out legally (not the visitation rules she makes up).

Family counseling won't do much if the mom is still being manipulative or using (I speak from experience here too). She probably needs individual counseling to get a handle on her HPD before she'll truly be healthy, sober or not.

You should take a look around the Family & Friends Forum area http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/#friends-family, you'll find a lot of information and help there from others who have dealt with similar issues.

Researchneeded

Well the magistrate made two different orders. One that says mother shall supervised by us with visitation being worked between parties. The other ones says standard visitation by the mother with us as her supervisors. But she refuses our supervision. So as you can see her thinking is that we will just give her the kids with no supervision because of the parent child relationship.