Anodyne7

May 19, 2014, I suppose this is day 1, it is always day 1, because I have started here countless times. I wonder how long I can make it this time. Optimistic me thinks forever, but reality me says a few days. My goal with writing is to remember each day why I decided to write this in the first place. Rock bottom, I’ve hit it more than once, but today I sit here, angry, sick, depressed, with a headache and smoke filled lungs and in only 5 days I will be doing a sprint triathlon which I want to succeed so badly, but every drink and every cigarette pushes back all of the training and progress I have made. Saturday will undoubtedly be more difficult than it would have been if I would not have drank last night. I have to realize that I have an issue and one drink is too many because it means a thousand is not enough. I must remember that my health is more important, that I never, ever want to waste another day on this earth either drunk or hung over. I am absolutely miserable this way and feel unbelievable fantastic when I am not. I want to slay this beast so badly, but for some reason, it always seems to defeat me. I meditate on strength every day, but somehow, I lose the mental battle. How do you find the strength?

Needinghelp82

I'm only on day four but this site is wonderful - there really are some wise people who will give you tips on how to beat this.

Take one day at a time.

Hevyn

Welcome Anodyne - I'm so glad you joined us. You are not alone.

I found the strength because I had to, or my life would be over. I was drinking 24/7 when I came here for help. I'd been at it for 30 yrs. & knew it couldn't continue. I hope you'll have lasting sobriety this time - you can do it.

Kallistia

That's a good way to think "every day is day 1" - make every day DAY 1 even if it's not the first day. Keep that day 1 drive

Verte

'Andoyne'...one of my favorite road trip albums!

Day 1 is a great place to start. Making the commitment to staying sober is huge and made all the difference to me. The commitment separated me from all the other mornings hungover in the past.

Like you I drank and smoked cigarettes while being very physically active. Everyone around me was doing the same thing and worse?!

What keeps each person on the good path is such an individual recipe. For me, I have to take it one day at a time. Every day presents such different circumstances and thoughts...some in my control, most not.

I figuratively hang out here when the desire feels overwhelming - this forum is like my light saber or a trump card in my back pocket. I'm just on Day 20. So far so good.

My advice for your sprint this weekend is to go and kick it! Then remember that the next event will be different. Stay on course. Envision your idea of success with staying sober as if it the most important race of your life - for physical and mental well-being - because it is the most important race.

And like many others actively practice...do not become complacent. This works for pushing past your comfort zone with your athletic ability. Make it work for your sobriety.

You can do this. The forum is supportive at every turn. Stay strong. Read and write often. Everyone gets it.

Anodyne7

Thank you all so much, fantastic advice, this is the first time I have actively sought any type of support, it means so much, I might be hanging out here a lot to get through the first few days..weeks..

LBrain

welcome Anodyne7, you can do this. I'm not crazy about the everyday is day one idea. I think every day should another day plus 1. Keep it simple - one day at a time works.
Get through this tri and keep going. Make the commitment today. Just for today.
Keep it going.

Welcome to the forum

Verte

Oh yes. One more thing. If you have lucky 'race' socks...wear them every day if you need to...even with sandals. Whatever you need to do, right?

Anodyne7

Thanks LBrain, I didn't mean for Day 1 to be everyday, I think it must have been confusing the way I worded it.. I meant today is, literally day 1... it is not the First day 1 for me, but I am hoping this is my last and that I can come on here and post my Day 5, 10, 30 etc. of sobriety. :o)

SoberLeigh

Welcome, Anodyne. You can do this.

Dee74

Coming here really helped give me strength Anodyne. There's a lot of wisdom, support and hope here

Involve yourself in this community - use us when you feel vulnerable.

Join the May support thread perhaps?
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-6.html

D