scintillady

Hi, I finally got my prescription for antabuse and can probably start taking it tomorrow. My last drink was yesterday afternoon so I should be good and have everything out of my system by tomorrow evening, I expect. From what I've read it may make you drowsy so I should take it in the evening. I'm really excited to have this tool available to me now, but I'm also kind of nervous to be putting something else in my body. I guess it's better than what I have been doing for years, though. I just need to learn to exist sober, and I'm much better at preventing immediate side effects than I am seeing the bigger picture and making myself avoid the long term effect that I KNOW I am causing but can't see right away. i know it's not a cure-all, but I hope to use it as a tool to see what my life is like sober and start dealing with it. I also am sure my antidepressants will start kicking in once I put down the wine.

hopelove16

Good luck! You can do it! We are all God's children and if I can do it with his help, you can too! One day at a time.

ClearLight

Good luck to you!

ScottFromWI

Sounds like a positive move forward Scintillady. Congrats on putting down the drink as of yesterday afternoon as well.

What is your plan for learning to live sober? Antabuse is definitely a good deterrent to the physical act of drinking, but it doesn't teach you how to live sober. SR was instrumental for me, some folks like more local support too - have you considered any meetings or counseling? Hope you have a good day, it gets better from here on out.

scintillady

Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I know I need to learn how to live sober and I know this won't do it, but since I haven't BEEN sober for more than a few days at a time (except for 6 weeks, a year ago) so never had the chance to start learning yet. I've been seeing a counselor for a few years now. We had to get some of the other pressing issues out of the way before tackling the alcohol issue, but as an alcoholic, drug addict that has been sober for over 20 years now, he is pretty well able to help me with the alcoholic piece too. He's no-nonsense. He tells me what he thinks instead of just repeating back to me what I say and asking me what I think I should do about it. Went to AA twice and can't get past the "God" aspect so don't want to go. I'll keep on here and take my antabuse, go to counseling, get my depression meds straightened out, and I'm in the process of getting out of a very stressful living arrangement in the next week or so.

Verte

Hey Scinctillady,

Welcome the the SR forum. Lots of good words of support here.

ScottFromWI

I don't go to AA myself either, but I wouldn't discount it after just 2 meetings. It's very possible that the group you attended was made up of people who were very religious or chose to push religion on other members, but that is atypical. You don't need to belive in any god to utilize the steps and or attend meetings. You could always find a different meeting. If nothing else please do read the big book - even those not in AA like me still get good benefit out of reading it.

Sounds like you have a great counselor too, especially one who's been through what you are going through.

Chicagoan

I didn't know they still prescribe that.
It is very bad if you drink with that.

scintillady

Yes, it is VERY bad if you drink! It could kill you, and I have too much to live for to be killed by it.

scintillady

I'm encouraged that I didn't take the last chance I had to drink before I start taking the antabuse tonight. Normally I would have said "oh well, tomorrow I can't drink any more so I'll just get drunk one last time". It's the same thing people do when they decide to go on a diet on a Monday and eat all weekend long. I feel better even after less than 48 hours without a drink. I think I can do it this time. I have to! Crossing fingers that the nausea I experienced was the worst of the detox symptoms I'll have.

NoAlcohol

I've used Antabuse in the past.. it's definitely not something to mess around with. Like someone else said, it can literally kill you. Once you take a pill, drinking kinda leaves your mind though.. as you know you definitely can't drink for a couple of days, so you tend to focus on something else.

scintillady

That's what I'm hoping, that it will take the "choice" out of the equation for awhile until I get used to how it feels to be sober and having to deal with things sober. Right now I get out of work at 10 at night and every store I go by I ask myself if I'm going to go in and get a bottle of wine. In the morning when I go to work I tell myself that I definitely won't be stopping that night, but I think about it all day, and most of the time I give in. Tonight I know for sure that I won't be able to, so might as well not dwell on it!!!

KateL

Good luck xx

NoAlcohol

Yeah exactly! Good luck.

scintillady

Just picked up my antabuse and the weirdest thing happened. I was going to take it right away and I realized that just having it in my possession just in case is enough for now. If I get the urge to buy wine I will take it, but for now it's enough just to have it available. Once I start taking it I will take it regularly, though. I was shocked, though, at the expense of the medication! I have insurance, luckily, so my copay was only $10.00, but the monthly cost of the meds is $237.50!! I assumed that since the medication is an old school med that has been around for so long, it would not be one of the high priced ones.

ScottFromWI

This is your addiction talking. If your doctor had wanted you to only take it if you think you need it, that would have been written into the prescription.

least

Take it anyway, that might kill any urges to buy wine.

scintillady

I'm hoping not to take it until I have one more alcohol free day behind me. It scares me to think of taking it with any possibility of alcohol in my system. I will probably start taking it tonight.

purechaos

I think you should take it... it sounds like you are leaving yourself an opening... like you are not quite ready to take the step into sobriety.... Its like a pill addict keeping a couple pills in the closet "just for an absolute emergency" adiction doesnt work that way.... I know that and I bet deep down you know it too... Sorry if this sounds harsh but I think that you are not fully commiting to this... Just do it, get it done, take the first step, keep walking forward, and never look back.... You will never make forward progress without movement.

As far as price on the meds I agree that its rediculous.... I am on subutex (used for narcotic dependence...similiar to antabuse I assume) Anywho I was told it can cost like $3-4 a pill... People typically take 1-4 a day..... Up until not my insurance covered it... but wouldnt you know I just recieved a letter the other day stating my physician now needs to obtain pre-auth for it and it needs to pass the review board before they will cover any more... I will not be able to afford it out of pocket... I cannot safely stop taking it at this time. Hoping thats enough for my insurance company. Good luck to you my friend... I hope you can get your plan of attack worked out. I also would never be successful with AA (or in my case NA) I do not believe in god hence that would not be a good motivator. But there are other things and other people out there can support you (like someone else said this site is a fantastic resource.)

AlcoholFree66

DON'T DRINK WITH IT - EVEN FOR DAYS AFTER TAKING IT. I've tried! I thought taking .5 of a tablet it could be ok. It was an absolute nightmare - terryifying and I have not doubt it could kill someone. Having saying that it did keep me sober for a year (I took antabuse for the first 6 months of this time) - I then drank for two weeks - I had some tablets left so I cut them in half and took them and stayed sober another 6 months. FOR ME - I did to get sober and stay sober without antabuse. Best of luck but my advice DON'T DRINK.