vinylfever

Hi all,

I have been wandering the site for a while and feel I should give a proper introduction. I am 42 and have been a "functional" alcoholic for years. I honestly cannot remember what it is like to be sober. I have had many false starts and, in the past, only made it to day 18. I can't believe how much I drank last night! It starts with a "I'll just have a six pack today", and then a few pints, then another and another. I stumbled to the corner market up the street for more alcohol and it took 3 tries to enter my PIN number. What an embarrassment. I woke up this morning thinking "wow, I am one of those pathetic drunks who stumble into convenience stores". If I can just get past the initial discomfort of quitting, I think I can finally wing this! However, doing it alone seems impossible. So, that is why I am here!

I recently got blood work done and liver was normal. I have a chance right now to get sober before I do actual damage to my body. Not to mention ending up with a DUI. Thankfully, that hasn't happened. As we age, we are more susceptible to liver damage, heart attacks, etc.

I decided to start making short, daily motivational videos on my phone. One in the morning to start a sober day, and one to when the craving hits me (such as after work). Other than this site, there are some other great resources, such as youtube.

I am an active person, work out, ride a bicycle and generally stay healthy. But I am starting to feel myself slowing down, becoming increasingly less active and depressed as I continue to give in to this addiction.

Anyway, thanks all for reading and understanding. Also, I certainly want to be a support others. I'm ready to make a sober life! So here goes day 1!

Stiv

Welcome to the forum!

Keep posting, let us know how you are doing, it can be tough but can be done.

SoberLeigh

Welcome to the posting side of SR, vinylfever. You can do this. Have you told your doctor that you want to stop drinking? A visit may be in order somewhat he can advise you as to a safe withdrawal.

Again, welcome.

Mentium

Good luck and all the best with your plans to quit! I really identified with your comment 'I'll just have a six pack today'. Any normal drinker would be a bit puzzled by the word 'just' in there. Similarly I used to wonder if I *really* had a drink problem considering I *only* drank a liter of wine most nights..

christimc

I totally understand.the "just " in there....woukd start off with just a glass of wine and before i knew it almost the whole box was gone. I look back and see the progression from one bottle a night to two to three to a box and its crazy how u dont see it until u r sober. Good luck hun.

vinylfever

Thank you all! I will definitely keep posting. In answer to soberleigh, I am making an appointment just to be on the safe side :-)

Samsonsworld

I relate a little too much. It's hard to admit you have a problem when you're 'functional'. I would know. Never had a DUI. No interventions. Married for 21 years. Same job for over 11 years. Just a regular Joe. Except a 6-pack was a slow day for me, too. I'm just really good at acting sober and hiding my hangover symptoms.

I would like to point out that my blood work was normal a year ago. Be careful. It comes on fast.

I'm glad you joined us, btw.

Hevyn

Great to have you with us vinylfever. I'm glad you've heeded the warnings & decided to quit. Love your positive attitude.

Anodyne7

Vinyl, I just posted my Day 1 today, and I am in the same exact boat, my night started off last night with "just" a glass of wine. I don't think anyone can understand what it is like to not be able to just stop unless you have been through it. It turned into a bottle of wine and a half a bottle of vodka.. I'm fine if I don't start, I do not have withdraw or cravings until i start with that "just" one. I'm hoping to find strength to make it through every day. Life is just to beautiful to spend one more day drunk or hung over, so far I have my health, but I have friends who do not, so I'm with you.. to get sober before it is too late.

Sulu1

Hi Vinyl,

Oh do I know that feeling all to well. When I have drank recently I have realised I simply no longer have the off switch. I would walk a mile in the rain to get more once I'd started. I no longer can have just that one drink, which does suck at times, but I have to just accept it.

Nowadays when I drink all bets are off and it's a 3, 4 day bender of continuous drinking until I physically cannot drink anymore. Then comes the shame, guilt and withdrawal. Its scary as I've only been drinking for 4 years, it escalated so quickly.

You have made a good decision my friend

Anna

Welcome, and I'm glad you are seeking support before things get worse.

Spinach

Time for change and what a great change it will be, this place was so much more than just help, it was a lifeline and a place to shelter and gain strength.
Good luck.
John.

desypete

your post took me back to my own stumbling into stores to guy the cheapest strongest cider i could buy
it took me about 2 hours of falling over in the street to get my prize home the would normally take about 15 mins walk
i had a flat to go to but nothing else so couldnt use online help nor ring anyone up either until i finaly went to a phone box and called aa for help
thats the only thing that was available to me as booze had taken all my money and everything else
i believe it will happen to all alcholics who can not stop in time it will get worse and lose the lot
i never want to go back to that person who had nothing so the only way i know how to make sure i never start that process that will take me back to having nothing is to not pick up that first drink.
sounds easy but i know just how hard it is when your stuck with that mental obsession that booze is the only thing in the world that helps or there is no life without drinking
and yet always putting things off till tomorrow or i will just finish that bottle first then quit etc
i hope with all my heart that you can find a path youe lucky to have a computer and access to online help as many alcohlics out there tonight are sleeping rough with nothing but a bottle and if there lucky aa will help them as they dont need anything for that help but its a sad state of affairs that people end up like this and its something that is waiting for us all in my view if we dont take it serious while we still can

Verte

Welcome to the forum Vinylfever

20 Days ago I decided that making things so much harder for my body and mind took so much effort (when I think really hard about it...I still cannot figure out how I arrived there...it was just such a relief that I was there, then). The benefits to drinking were an illusion...never really there. Even what I previously considered a benefit (taste, camaraderie, pretty bottles...I love beer labels and beer history, connection with others, getting out of my crazy head)...were just an illusion...for me. Drinking just kept me down.

No need to be down any longer It takes some work...but it is definitely a much better expenditure of mental and physical energy.

Lean on everyone here. We are all in the same boat despite all our different circumstances.

Soberpotamus

Welcome

Easilypleased

Hi there Vinylfever, I am also new to SR and so far it has been nothing but good for me. Sort of a continuous AA meeting at your fingertips whenever you need it. I'm over 12 months sober now and it's the best thing I have ever done. I'm not saying it's easy and there are always temptations and bad days but I'm currently in a good place which goes without saying is a sober place.

ktwsober

Welcome and good luck

Aiko

Welcome vinylfever,

You will get extra support in SR and will learn from others!
Glad you decided that is enough...
You are getting out of the car before it crashes!

And well done in your first step accepting you have a problem