Need to vent badly
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,462
Need to vent badly
I just got into huge blowup with a family member. They pressed my buttons to fulfill their needs. I called them on it. They blamed it on me for "misinterpreting" what they said. This is a serious problem I need to deal with. I don't know how. I suddenly want to drink badly. I'm on day 6, I can't start over. I almost said screw it and went to store. My alcoholic mind is working overtime right now. Came here instead. No where else to go.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Mirage, It will not help to pick up - it never does. You may have a few moments of numbness, but then there's a terrible price to pay. You'd be so disappointed with yourself for going back to square one. Drinking just adds to our anxiety - keep a clear head to deal with this family member.
Glad you came here - hoping you'll feel better soon.
Glad you came here - hoping you'll feel better soon.
Pressure makes diamonds
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 521
You came to the right place. Take a walk and clear your head. Tomorrow you will be proud. Believe me, I'm back at day 1 and wish I were in your shoes on day 6. I feel like hell because I let disappointment lead me to the poison. Be strong and keep posting through the rough patches.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Classic alcoholism my friend. We don't handle life very well. It's right at the heart of our problems.
We get into this stuff around step 4' where we look at what it is about our make up that is behind our abnormal reactions to life. There are one or two suggestions about how to handle these events in early sobriety, because if we don't learn to handle it, there will be no sobriety.
Though we didn't like their symptoms (when someone wronged us) we realised that perhaps like us, they were spiritually sick too. We asked God to help us to show them the same patience and tolerance we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
Putting aside their mistakes we resolutely looked for our part in it. Where were we at fault. Did we do something to cause the problem, or is our part just that we are overreacting. We ask for the strength to do the right thing, forgive or make amends. Then we turn our thought to someone we can help.
It's a pretty good recipe. It works every time for me.
We get into this stuff around step 4' where we look at what it is about our make up that is behind our abnormal reactions to life. There are one or two suggestions about how to handle these events in early sobriety, because if we don't learn to handle it, there will be no sobriety.
Though we didn't like their symptoms (when someone wronged us) we realised that perhaps like us, they were spiritually sick too. We asked God to help us to show them the same patience and tolerance we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
Putting aside their mistakes we resolutely looked for our part in it. Where were we at fault. Did we do something to cause the problem, or is our part just that we are overreacting. We ask for the strength to do the right thing, forgive or make amends. Then we turn our thought to someone we can help.
It's a pretty good recipe. It works every time for me.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
I'm glad you came here instead Mirage 
Drinking won't solve this - you know that - it won't even make you feel better.
Just how necessary is it for you to have this family member in your life right now, Mirage?
D
Drinking won't solve this - you know that - it won't even make you feel better.
Just how necessary is it for you to have this family member in your life right now, Mirage?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Center of Mass
Posts: 622
Breathe, breathe deep. We can't choose our family and sometimes those closest to us drive us nuts. Just a reality of being human that probably dates back well before any recorded human history. Take it for what it is. An argument. It's not your first one, it won't be your last. You already know that drinking won't fix it. It's not going to help. Remember arguing is something we do and you're in good company because we all do it. It you're replaying it in your mind, like I've always done, it helped me to find a way to conquer that internal chatter.
Hang in there. Don't go to the store. There's nothing there that's a solution.
You matter.
Hang in there. Don't go to the store. There's nothing there that's a solution.
You matter.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: S.E. Wisconsin
Posts: 341
Unfortunately, sometimes family members
can become the least helpful in our recovery.
They can be judgmental and really do not
understand our disease.
Try and relax. Let the whole thing bounce
off, like water on a duck's back. It's not
worth losing your sobriety over. Nothing is!
can become the least helpful in our recovery.
They can be judgmental and really do not
understand our disease.
Try and relax. Let the whole thing bounce
off, like water on a duck's back. It's not
worth losing your sobriety over. Nothing is!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Originally Posted by Mirage74 
This is a serious problem I need to deal with. I don't know how.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,708
when i got angry i used to go into the shed and get a hammer and bang hell out of a bit of wood
it was better i did that than smash a door as that cost me a lot of money
its been a long time now since i needed to go and bang a hammer and i have been to hell and back with things gone on in my life
but like you i was just in your shoes at one time were people places and things would drive me mad
you said your going off for a walk and thats a great idea and if next time you feel like hitting the roof try and remember to go for a walk instead of reacting
or go and bang a bit of wood like i used to
this is what working on myself means i have to work on myself by not hitting the roof and trying a different actions instead and if we find something that works for us well it really does make life a bit more easy
well done for not running off to pick up the booze and for just simply going for a walk one day you will remember this day and what you did to not pick up a drink
it was better i did that than smash a door as that cost me a lot of money
its been a long time now since i needed to go and bang a hammer and i have been to hell and back with things gone on in my life
but like you i was just in your shoes at one time were people places and things would drive me mad
you said your going off for a walk and thats a great idea and if next time you feel like hitting the roof try and remember to go for a walk instead of reacting
or go and bang a bit of wood like i used to
this is what working on myself means i have to work on myself by not hitting the roof and trying a different actions instead and if we find something that works for us well it really does make life a bit more easy
well done for not running off to pick up the booze and for just simply going for a walk one day you will remember this day and what you did to not pick up a drink
Guest
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NC
Posts: 1,462
Made it through, talked it out with a helpful friend. Getting ready to go to bed. Dee, I'm working on creating some distance. Desypete, I'll remember chopping wood.
Thanks for all the replies. Still sober, y'all have been a big help. 👍
Thanks for all the replies. Still sober, y'all have been a big help. 👍
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