powderline

I woke up this morning with horrible shakes. I didn't sleep all night, and I was really twitching. Then came the dry heaves of course, and I found bright green stool. This concerned me a great deal obviously (I've been tapering).

This has been going on for a few days as well. Two days ago, I couldn't eat a single thing. Bile puking. Shaking. Awful.

The last three days, I started watching my mirror more closely. Is my belly getting bigger day? Sure enough... Today it was really big (and I'm relatively fit). In fact, I thought I saw it get bigger in front of my eyes. But I was real dizzy and seeing kaleidoscope colors everywhere. Real weird.

I figured this is my time. Now or never: Josh, your liver has finally failed you, or you picked up a lovely Hep C (that's permanent).

Got down to the hospital and checked vitals, blood, the bloated fluid belly. I was nervous as hell that I had finally checked the box.

When she was poking around my belly and got to my liver, it didn't hurt. Really surprised.

Anyway, apparently it's from all the drinking. Before tapering, I was drinking 1/5 to 1L of vodka per day for about a year -- all day everyday.

End up my liver is very angry at me, and so is my pancreas. I don't have additional complications, thank God.

Today is my first day sober in over 10 years, and I am going to keep pushing forward each day.

I lucked out that this Er was willing to give me a generous script of Ativan to get through the withdrawals. I am super psyched. I finally got day one.

Hope you are well. I wanted to share my terrible but awesome story from today.

Powder
---------
Sober Date: 5/18/2014

Dee74

Really glad you saw someone powderline - congrats on day one

S

falseemperor

Good to know ur liver still functional. To save it eat lot of fish.

Stiv

Scarey stuff, I wish you well, I have often wondered have I waited too long, I was pouring down that crap daily like you except it was beer. I am glad I have the chance to be sober.

I hope your OK, and stay sober!

biminiblue

Really happy you got good news.

Congrats on Day One.

JTtexas

Had almost the same experience 12 days ago (only my stool was yellow). I had no lose of appetite or puking, but I felt numb in the face and almost fainted a couple of times. After 10 years of drinking hard I was trying to taper off and was also expecting the worst. Turns out I was just going through withdrawals.

They gave me some taper Meds and I'm now on day 8 with no alcohol whatsoever! Congrats and good luck!

Hawk07

Powderline,

That is scary. I'm so happy for you that it wasn't any worse. Now give yourself lots of TLC and rest. You're body's been through hell and made it out. Check in and let us know how it's going.

ScottFromWI

Glad you got the help that you needed. And even more so that you did before any permanent damage. I would assume/hope the ER has you following up with your regular doctor sometime soon? If not make an appointment.

Have you thought about a sobriety plan? Ativan is only for the acute withdrawal period and not a permanent cure by any means. Judging by the severity of your withdrawal this time you might not get another chance if you start drinking again. Stick around here..many great people and lots of great resources to help stay sober.

heath480

Good news that you went to the hospital.

Congratulations on day 1.

Mountainmanbob

congratulations
for that is where we all started
I remember when it was hard to get one minute
much less one day

MM

christimc

Congrats hun. Sorry u had to go thru that but good news is u r here. Benzos do hekp with withdrawl and anxiety but only temp. I myself am on klonopin as needed. Just took my first half...hope it works. Every day wont be peachy but we will get there...sober beats Killing ourselves slowly.

least

I'm glad you got medical help with the w/d.

Chicagoan

By going to the ER Powderline, you
done the best thing, no need to suffer.

You must engrave that horrible memory
in your brain. It will help keep you on track.

justinJustQuit

It's good that they gave you something for acute alcohol withdrawal. Oddly enough, I had this exact same thing happen with the bile and feeling bloated. I felt worlds different three days after quitting. It's amazing how fast we can heal.

Brian316

I've been there man. This can be the start of a new beginning for you. If you have any additional physical or visual issues please go back. I recommend a program of recovery of some type. We sometimes can be quick to minimize events like this in our minds when king alcohol calls us back.

Hope2014

Wow, I hope you feel better soon. Let's do this together- I'm on day 1 too

powderline

Thanks for all of the comments. Yes, I do a plan for recovery:

1. Participate here
2. A friend of mine offered to be my sponsor today. He's 60 and quit last year.
3. Give AA an honest shot. I plan to attend Tuesday here in my area.
4. I may move to my parents' place in Texas for the summer to get extra support (but I sure love Lake Tahoe summers. Heh
5. Get in with an addiction therapist to dig into the root cause.

I have intense cravings right now, because I'd be about 12 deep debating how far to go. I'm dumped that bottle of vodka out and took a picture of the pitcher of poison. I actually feel quite good now. Felt like death warmed over this morning...

Thanks for all the support. I will keep in touch!

powderline

And yes, it is definitely acute. Last night, I literally vaulted out of my bed sleeping to attack a night stalker that had entered my room. I had some nasty twiches as well. Luckily, no seizures. Then of course the awesome heaves at 5 am. I sure look forward to that every day. And the the strange twiches of shoulders, arms, feet, legs....

Let's be this gorilla together!

Treerat66

Hi Powderline, welcome to SR.

FreeOwl

sounds to me like you picked a real sweet line this time friend....

ride it.