The Distress at the Heart of Addiction and Alcoholism
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The Distress at the Heart of Addiction and Alcoholism
The Distress at the Heart of Addiction and Alcoholism | The Alcoholics Guide to Alcoholism
This came up on Alanon Facebook, and I thought it was some pretty good stuff. Goes into some of the "inside job" of the A, and the "hardware" without digging into (and getting buried with) the Mental Health aspects (like I tend to).
well. anyway. Good Read, mho.
This came up on Alanon Facebook, and I thought it was some pretty good stuff. Goes into some of the "inside job" of the A, and the "hardware" without digging into (and getting buried with) the Mental Health aspects (like I tend to).
well. anyway. Good Read, mho.
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Thanks Hammer. I needed a work break with my tea.
This is reassuring that my RAH is not alone in acting like a kid, ruminating, running a constant criticism of what is going on around him, and incapable of emotionally connecting 85% of the time, and has distress of change.
To be fair, I am emotionally withdrawn too - BUT I am working on it!
This is reassuring that my RAH is not alone in acting like a kid, ruminating, running a constant criticism of what is going on around him, and incapable of emotionally connecting 85% of the time, and has distress of change.
To be fair, I am emotionally withdrawn too - BUT I am working on it!
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Yep, see a good bit of my aexh there. It seemed like alcohol helped him process emotions in a way that I did automatically.
And yes he is to this day incapable of seeing the long range effects of his choices. It hurts to watch.
And yes he is to this day incapable of seeing the long range effects of his choices. It hurts to watch.
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Paul Henry is building up quite a collection here >>>
The Alcoholics Guide to Alcoholism
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-A...32125263506440
Not sure if I am so impressed because he matches my views on it being a hardware (actual brain physiology) issue which crosses into what is generally considered Mental Illness, or what. But I like what he is doing so far.
The Alcoholics Guide to Alcoholism
https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-A...32125263506440
Not sure if I am so impressed because he matches my views on it being a hardware (actual brain physiology) issue which crosses into what is generally considered Mental Illness, or what. But I like what he is doing so far.
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EXACTLY!
When I was still living with an active addict I was forever on the hunt for explanations and ways to make sense of him...
It almost was a hobby to research about alcoholism bc I was looking for an answer to make it all make sense...
The time I wasted being obsessed with trying to understand him ought to have been spent trying to understand me...
That said, this link that Hammer shared is really interesting and I was able to look at it without instantly thinking "how can I share this info with xah to try and make him stop drinking" which is how I would have approached info like this a year ago...
When I was still living with an active addict I was forever on the hunt for explanations and ways to make sense of him...
It almost was a hobby to research about alcoholism bc I was looking for an answer to make it all make sense...
The time I wasted being obsessed with trying to understand him ought to have been spent trying to understand me...
That said, this link that Hammer shared is really interesting and I was able to look at it without instantly thinking "how can I share this info with xah to try and make him stop drinking" which is how I would have approached info like this a year ago...
Originally Posted by lillamy 
Is it a sign of recovery or callousness that I really don't give a flying f**k anymore about what causes alcoholics to drink? *hiding*
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Sure enough.
And for folks following our drama(s) -- around our world -- even sober is at least half nutty, half the time.
For me, it is less and less about AWtf. Looking forward to next generations and beyond, and directly towards me . . . PhD stuff. Likely I will be going back part-timing school this Fall / Winter Semester.
A couple of areas of interest are either Automotive Power Systems (full electric highway -- requires no fuel AND no batteries -- but that is pretty simple) AND/OR Neural Function crossed with Electrical -- such as Neural Prosthesis, or . . . . Electro-Pharm / Imaging and Neural/Genetic Modification.
If it turns out that Alcohol, Addictions and Mental Illness are all tied together as Hardware Issues they appear to be . . . . .
And for folks following our drama(s) -- around our world -- even sober is at least half nutty, half the time.
For me, it is less and less about AWtf. Looking forward to next generations and beyond, and directly towards me . . . PhD stuff. Likely I will be going back part-timing school this Fall / Winter Semester.
A couple of areas of interest are either Automotive Power Systems (full electric highway -- requires no fuel AND no batteries -- but that is pretty simple) AND/OR Neural Function crossed with Electrical -- such as Neural Prosthesis, or . . . . Electro-Pharm / Imaging and Neural/Genetic Modification.
If it turns out that Alcohol, Addictions and Mental Illness are all tied together as Hardware Issues they appear to be . . . . .
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Hammer,
Very interesting. Of course I wanted to send this to my qualifier! As DicSobrietist would say, snap that rubberband.
.
Do you have time for PT PhD? Is this considered Biomedical Engineering? Crazy that is a whole department that did not exist back when I was in school. I love the interplay and overlap. But my math skills are paltry. My algebra teacher never broke me for getting stuck on the story of story problems. Everyone else is slapping numbers into a formula and I am wondering who the heck carries bags with red, black and white marbles or who cares about the train's speed I want to know where it is going! Destination trumps speed!
I went on a short outing with my Q last night. He must have been having a bad day as he ate dinner, then ice cream, then decided on a DQ run. So I rode shotgun. I did not talk. I just rode along, ate my twist cone, and mentally debated that I need to stop eating sugar as I am addicted to it. In a sense it is no different than being an A. One part of my head says, "But you like twist cones, cookies, brownies, pie etc". The other part of me knows I rely on it to soothe my rankled feelings. And being a hot mess, I could eat sugar all day every day. At some level - bio mechanically - same problem. Sugar/energy in your proposed avenues? Think about how sun light can cure "winter" depression... Solar energy?
BUT, why am I motivated to change and recognize the need to change and do something about it? My Q? Not so much.
As always Hammer, interesting post! I have faith in you as you are truly driven.
But now my tea and banana are gone so I need to return to my paid position being a hack for people like you! Ha ha!
Very interesting. Of course I wanted to send this to my qualifier! As DicSobrietist would say, snap that rubberband.
. Do you have time for PT PhD? Is this considered Biomedical Engineering? Crazy that is a whole department that did not exist back when I was in school. I love the interplay and overlap. But my math skills are paltry. My algebra teacher never broke me for getting stuck on the story of story problems. Everyone else is slapping numbers into a formula and I am wondering who the heck carries bags with red, black and white marbles or who cares about the train's speed I want to know where it is going! Destination trumps speed!
I went on a short outing with my Q last night. He must have been having a bad day as he ate dinner, then ice cream, then decided on a DQ run. So I rode shotgun. I did not talk. I just rode along, ate my twist cone, and mentally debated that I need to stop eating sugar as I am addicted to it. In a sense it is no different than being an A. One part of my head says, "But you like twist cones, cookies, brownies, pie etc". The other part of me knows I rely on it to soothe my rankled feelings. And being a hot mess, I could eat sugar all day every day. At some level - bio mechanically - same problem. Sugar/energy in your proposed avenues? Think about how sun light can cure "winter" depression... Solar energy?
BUT, why am I motivated to change and recognize the need to change and do something about it? My Q? Not so much.
As always Hammer, interesting post! I have faith in you as you are truly driven.
But now my tea and banana are gone so I need to return to my paid position being a hack for people like you! Ha ha!
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Good read Hammer. It does help with the compassion part. I would like to see it go into detail as to how this dysfunction leads to dishonesty, theft, manipulation, entitlement, inflated ego, and gaslighting. Not that these characteristics are exclusive to alcoholics. This is one of the most informative cut to the chase articles I have seen on alcoholism. Thanks for posting.
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I'm hiding with Lilamy because I don't either!!! One can only put so much effort into figuring out why someone does something, then you realize it's a complete waste of time.
Originally Posted by lillamy
Is it a sign of recovery or callousness that I really don't give a flying f**k anymore about what causes alcoholics to drink? *hiding*
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I hid from alcoholism by NOT trying to understand it. When I went to Al Anon and then read their brochures, I saw for the first time what alcoholism was, and how it was affecting my family, and that is when the game was over.
I don't think it is a waste of time to figure out alcoholism. It is by understanding that I am able to let go and move on. I have spent close to two years on figuring it all out and I am much better prepared for dealing with xah's behaviors and help the children cope as a result.
Hammer's article here is really excellent. I think alcoholism should be more widely recognized as a real mental illness, and that would really help with the non A's interactions in the courtroom.
Having said all of that, yes, don't forget to work on yourself, and your children as well, when there is an A wreaking havoc with your life. They sure can make an enormous mess out of everything.
I don't think it is a waste of time to figure out alcoholism. It is by understanding that I am able to let go and move on. I have spent close to two years on figuring it all out and I am much better prepared for dealing with xah's behaviors and help the children cope as a result.
Hammer's article here is really excellent. I think alcoholism should be more widely recognized as a real mental illness, and that would really help with the non A's interactions in the courtroom.
Having said all of that, yes, don't forget to work on yourself, and your children as well, when there is an A wreaking havoc with your life. They sure can make an enormous mess out of everything.
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I agree Pipp, it is just that I have done all of that. I am actually a leader at Celebrate Recovery and am very educated about addiction. I guess I am just digging in my heals and saying I have learned all I am going to learn.
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Yeah, what Hopeful said. I've been in Al-Anon as long as I've been here (for almost 8 years). I think I've gotten to the point finally where I have moved on.
And I didn't mean to sound rude -- to Hammer or to anyone else. It was just sort of encouraging to me that after all those years of devouring articles on alcoholism, I got a few paragraphs into this one and thought "nah. You know, I really don't care." I think that's progress -- for me.
And I didn't mean to sound rude -- to Hammer or to anyone else. It was just sort of encouraging to me that after all those years of devouring articles on alcoholism, I got a few paragraphs into this one and thought "nah. You know, I really don't care." I think that's progress -- for me.
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Originally Posted by PippiLngstockng
I hid from alcoholism by NOT trying to understand it. When I went to Al Anon and then read their brochures, I saw for the first time what alcoholism was, and how it was affecting my family, and that is when the game was over.
I don't think it is a waste of time to figure out alcoholism. It is by understanding that I am able to let go and move on. I have spent close to two years on figuring it all out and I am much better prepared for dealing with xah's behaviors and help the children cope as a result.
Hammer's article here is really excellent. I think alcoholism should be more widely recognized as a real mental illness, and that would really help with the non A's interactions in the courtroom.
Having said all of that, yes, don't forget to work on yourself, and your children as well, when there is an A wreaking havoc with your life. They sure can make an enormous mess out of everything.
I don't think it is a waste of time to figure out alcoholism. It is by understanding that I am able to let go and move on. I have spent close to two years on figuring it all out and I am much better prepared for dealing with xah's behaviors and help the children cope as a result.
Hammer's article here is really excellent. I think alcoholism should be more widely recognized as a real mental illness, and that would really help with the non A's interactions in the courtroom.
Having said all of that, yes, don't forget to work on yourself, and your children as well, when there is an A wreaking havoc with your life. They sure can make an enormous mess out of everything.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
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Hopeful and lillamy, I think you both are further along than I am. Which is great. . Congrats on knowing enough and having the sense to move on.
I wish the world understood addiction better. We are really doing a disservice to future generations by not educating young people adequately on this problem.
I know my health teacher in 8th grade went over addictions, but I never really got it. I think few do. Until they have to, and often when their lives have already been turned inside out.
I would really enjoy teaching this stuff as a community service some day. Do any of you do that? I mean not just in Al Anon type settings, but in the broader community? ( sorry if I am hijacking your thread, Hammer, but somehow I don't think you'll mind too much?)
. Congrats on knowing enough and having the sense to move on. I wish the world understood addiction better. We are really doing a disservice to future generations by not educating young people adequately on this problem.
I know my health teacher in 8th grade went over addictions, but I never really got it. I think few do. Until they have to, and often when their lives have already been turned inside out.
I would really enjoy teaching this stuff as a community service some day. Do any of you do that? I mean not just in Al Anon type settings, but in the broader community? ( sorry if I am hijacking your thread, Hammer, but somehow I don't think you'll mind too much?)
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