JimJim

See that stone? There I am. I’ve been sitting amongst the snow for some while.
Pick it up will you? Tell me how it feels in the palm of your hand? Yeh you feel that?

Im imbedded, fellow rocks just weigh on me.
I try to act tough for them actually, like their size means nothing.

Where are my limbs? I’m round shaped and incapable of shifting, so it would seem.
Day night, there they go. Might as well flick a switch on and off

I have felt the warm upon my grey hardened body though.
I can hear the sounds of life thrashing beside me.

It’s the river. Look at the water. It fills every space, it moves so gracefully it’s fills every gap it breaks on.
You can’t give it a colour it’s so magnificent and unshaped, utterly free.

JimJim

I'm struggling to put down the drink right now. I don't want or mean nothing more than placing a simple expression of how I am at the moment, If I may.

ScottFromWI

Nice poem JimJim. Anything we can help with today? You aren't destined to be a rock, no matter what lies your addiction tells you.

Erratic

jim, the thing about stones is they change over time even though they are pressured with other rocks ect. water will actually round u and make u a gem!

rocks under pressure always brings out a precious stone xxx

falseemperor

Play rugby bro.

yeahgr8

Not bad!

JimJim

You wanna pick it up? Nah who would?
Who would reach for a stone when you could pluck fruit

Don’t look at me like I can’t appreciate the softness of those petal s that grow there.
I could smell them forever, If it were choice.

Well here comes the rain today. There’s thunder too.
Oh my, I aint hard enough for this.

ScottFromWI

It's good prose JJ, but the underlying idea is utter BS. You mentioned you've been drinking in your other thread, perhaps dump it out and get some rest? You cannot write your way out of this, and you definitely can't do it drunk. Be well

falseemperor

Nice

but u hawe to stop drinking bro. U wr awake yesterday and angry, but today poems, its easy to notice why.

JimJim

Yeh Scott. Drinking and posting, it aint gonna work.

Self disgust is strong through every word, if not prose.

HeadLump

That's lovely, Erratic ♥♥

Dee74

You write well Jim - you have a poets eye

But like others have said, you can't write your way out of this. I tried too.
You need to act, to make change.

Your lack of belief in your ability to change is evident in your words. You want to, but things are against you, it's so hard it's pointless....

Try anyway.

Make tomorrow a day one Jim

D

JimJim

Yeh, posting while drinking isn't great. I'm done embarrassing myself.

Sasha4

Jim are you on your own at the moment?
Is there anybody you could ring for a bit of support?
Or cold anyone come and sit with you and look after you?

Jim pour the booze away. Go to bed. Get some rest. You are better than this mate xx

JimJim

I drank about 7 bottles of wine yesterday. About 5 today, I'm killing myself. Can you help me? No not really. Can I help myself? Sure. You think I wouldn't be here If I didn't want it really. I'm not hanging around here for ***** and giggles.

Soberpotamus

No worries. The poem itself is very good. We are just concerned that you're drinking.

That you are writing this quality of poetry while under the influence of five bottles of wine is rather alarming, if not amazing.

It's a shame you aren't sober to truly apply yourself. No telling what you could publish writing sober.

falseemperor

Its better to drink poison. Dto u ever see person had stomack cancer? Parts of his stomac was going out when he went to toilet. He had slow and painfull death. Because of % £?!@# alicohol.

JimJim

Nah I live with my parents. As great that sounds. I tried to get away from here so hard. the greatest memory I have here is of my dad crushing me behind a door whilst he pressed with all his might, with both legs against the opposing wall. He hasn't worked in 30 years and is delusional.

My mum had a bad stoke last year. I think she's dying from the symptoms she's described.

My sister drew a line under all of this and said she's having none of this such misery And distanced herself. she gave up on me a couple of weeks ago to, too painfull for her to see my demise. I don';t blame her.

I basically fester in a room, drinking unfathomable amounts of crap. There is no go to. It's all gonna be down to me, man.

Woe is me? no man. I don't canter for any sympathy.

It's a living nightmare. I wake up and wish I didn't. You can;'t show me to the misery of hell. I'm already there.

falseemperor

Fn end. Take your sister and go somewhere else u afe british right? Grownment gonna take care of you.

JimJim

Aw yeh it's definatley time to chew my own flesh and bite my own arm.

Toss me a knife and let me butcher my own sickened flesh away!

Im incredibly unhappy man. I don't wanna worry anyone with my words here actually.