rage towards bio dad
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
rage towards bio dad
Anger is always secondary. I can't tell if what I'm feeling is healthy anger or not. I'm trying to find what's underneath my anger. Maybe it is hurt and betrayal
my daughter came out of bed complaining of a nightmare. She seemed terrified.
I asked her to draw a picture an the first seemed innocent enough.
but then she told me of a "girl who's dead who haunts me" I asked her what the girl said and she made that sickening gasp from the grudge and said she had long black hair.
IM PISSED! She told me that "dad" had let her watch a scary movie. She wanted to spend time with him and he ha refused to change the scary movie and told her not to be a scardy cat. SHE IS 7!!!! I have already had his visits suspended for other reasons, so this is just fuel added to the fire for me.
My father was confused about how a little girl could be so scary or why I'm so upset about my daughter being exposed to these images... until I took him to google and showed him. (not for the squeamish, don't do it!)
to clarify, bio dad is not AH. He is AXB#1. I told God tonight I hope he burns in h3ll. It's gunna be an interesting conversation with my HP in church tomorrow
my daughter came out of bed complaining of a nightmare. She seemed terrified.
I asked her to draw a picture an the first seemed innocent enough.
but then she told me of a "girl who's dead who haunts me" I asked her what the girl said and she made that sickening gasp from the grudge and said she had long black hair.
IM PISSED! She told me that "dad" had let her watch a scary movie. She wanted to spend time with him and he ha refused to change the scary movie and told her not to be a scardy cat. SHE IS 7!!!! I have already had his visits suspended for other reasons, so this is just fuel added to the fire for me.
My father was confused about how a little girl could be so scary or why I'm so upset about my daughter being exposed to these images... until I took him to google and showed him. (not for the squeamish, don't do it!)
to clarify, bio dad is not AH. He is AXB#1. I told God tonight I hope he burns in h3ll. It's gunna be an interesting conversation with my HP in church tomorrow
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8
My anger comes from a buildup of resentments. I know its not healthy as when I rage, everything comes out. I just cant stop. My ex and I have spent alot of our married life living apart, due to her having to care for her elderly mother. Alot of our communication has been thru txting.
The sun still shines
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 472
Lily, I understand your anger and frustration. My XH let my AS watch a movie in which a dead body gets raped when he was 9. I think some men just don't care that much about their children. Sometimes anger is a good emotion. You don't have to act on it, but feeling it fully can help.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Lily,
I can relate so well, as my ex let the kids watch shows that I forbade them to watch. Scary things, faces of Death, exorcist, etc. He seemed to take delight in ticking me off. even if it hurt his own kids.
I hope that your daughter does not continue to have those bad dreams. Its tough being a little kid.. just not fair that someone who should be thinking of them and their security would neglect them like that.
I dont blame you for being very mad.
I can relate so well, as my ex let the kids watch shows that I forbade them to watch. Scary things, faces of Death, exorcist, etc. He seemed to take delight in ticking me off. even if it hurt his own kids.
I hope that your daughter does not continue to have those bad dreams. Its tough being a little kid.. just not fair that someone who should be thinking of them and their security would neglect them like that.
I dont blame you for being very mad.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
yes! oh thank god I'm not the only one!
I found myself explaining what demons are and why they exist and what heaven and hell are and all of these spiritual things. Some people think explaining the birds and the bees is tough. That will be a walk in the park after all of this.
Her dad was raise watching these kinds of movies. Now I can't get her to believe that Freddy Kruger isn't real because in the movies all the parents say he isn't real. I don't know how to convince her... so I told her that if she believes he is real then he is only a demon, and her HP is stronger than any demon.
I'm trying to help her find a god of her understanding and right now King Triton from the little mermaid seems to help. I try to find positive characters that reflect the heart of my HP and expose her to them. I signed her up for counseling today.
I also showed her two disney clips to explain why her father is the way he is. The fist was when Jafar hypnotizes the sultan in Aladdin, and the second was when Kaa hypnotizes bagera in Jungle book. Both "dads" love their "kids" but they are just confused. That seemed to help so far.
I really don't think her dad really even gave it a second thought that it would hurt her or scare her. I get lost in my terminal uniqueness here though by thinking "well I'm not THAT bad... I never did blah blah blah to my kids even when I wasn't healthy"
but I am that bad. My kids didn't choose their father. I did. I exposed them to it. I lived in that house afraid to leave for so long. When I got out I did it the wrong way. I ant believe I kept them around their father for so long. They were much more shielded from AH than with their dad.... but still...
(sigh)
P.S. please excuse my typos. my iPhone and I aren't getting along with these fancy new nails I got when I treated me and my little girl to mani pedis today
I found myself explaining what demons are and why they exist and what heaven and hell are and all of these spiritual things. Some people think explaining the birds and the bees is tough. That will be a walk in the park after all of this.
Her dad was raise watching these kinds of movies. Now I can't get her to believe that Freddy Kruger isn't real because in the movies all the parents say he isn't real. I don't know how to convince her... so I told her that if she believes he is real then he is only a demon, and her HP is stronger than any demon.
I'm trying to help her find a god of her understanding and right now King Triton from the little mermaid seems to help. I try to find positive characters that reflect the heart of my HP and expose her to them. I signed her up for counseling today.
I also showed her two disney clips to explain why her father is the way he is. The fist was when Jafar hypnotizes the sultan in Aladdin, and the second was when Kaa hypnotizes bagera in Jungle book. Both "dads" love their "kids" but they are just confused. That seemed to help so far.
I really don't think her dad really even gave it a second thought that it would hurt her or scare her. I get lost in my terminal uniqueness here though by thinking "well I'm not THAT bad... I never did blah blah blah to my kids even when I wasn't healthy"
but I am that bad. My kids didn't choose their father. I did. I exposed them to it. I lived in that house afraid to leave for so long. When I got out I did it the wrong way. I ant believe I kept them around their father for so long. They were much more shielded from AH than with their dad.... but still...
(sigh)
P.S. please excuse my typos. my iPhone and I aren't getting along with these fancy new nails I got when I treated me and my little girl to mani pedis today
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Central Massachusetts
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That was selfishness pure and simple. My mother took me and my siblings to see the Exorcist when we were around middle school age. I still occasionally have nightmares almost 40 years later. What really gets me is that your daughter told the idiot that she was scared and he didn't care. Complete jerk.
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