gettingbetter64

This Sunday I have a family party to attend. There will be alcohol and food there. I know most of you are going to recommended not going this early in sobriety but I want to go. Not everyone will be drinking there but still, one of my family members I'm going with has been sober for almost two years. She knows I've attempted quitting before, I know if I tell her I'm not drinking she will be very supportive and try to make sure I don't give in. The only reason I would want to drink at this party is because I have social anxiety and get nervous easily and alcohol calms me down. If I don't drink the worst thing that will happen is I might get sweaty and/or my face will get red. Even if I do get sweaty or red it never lasts long. To me that doesn't seem like a good enough reason to drink. It's day 11,just looking for support

Try18

Definitely tell the sober family member, I'm sure they will be a great support!

Marcher13

Gettingbetter I would recommend saying firmly and loudly enough for other people to hear "no thanks I'm not drinking". Pour yourself a non-alcoholic drink, start a conversation and don't go back on your word. If you get sweaty or red blame it on the weather. Have fun.

Dee74

I couldn't have thought about a party this soon. I needed to put clear distance between my old life and my new one.

I figured there'd be other parties and there were.

Just a few days ago you were close to going out and drinking gettingbetter - don't underestimate the relentless cunning of your addiction.

If you go, go prepared. Think of all the likely scenarios you might face - and have an escape route.

D

Jeni26

I remember having to do a family gathering when I was early in sobriety too. There are lots of addiction problems in my family.

I had an escape plan and I kept checking in on SR on my phone. It felt like I took everyone here to the party with me

I would confide in the sober family member and have a planned response to the inevitable questions about why you aren't drinking. If you can avoid it altogether I would.

I hope it goes well.

FeelingGreat

Hi getting better, my hint is to get a huge glass of soft drink in your hand early. If you're like me, you'll gulp down the first glass through social anxiety. Get your strategies in place and good luck. If you feel yourself caving, have an escape plan, and use it.

Cahabr

Tell the sober family member and consider going to a dr to get a beta blocker. I've used propranolol and for me it works wonders!

Verte

Hi gettingbetter,

Last weekend I went to a neighborhood Mother's Day barbecue.

At the time I was on Day11 being sober. I'm surprised at how slow-witted I can be when I do not actively think about something and pre-plan.

I was cutting carrots 10 minutes before we left for the BBQ and remembered that 'I do not drink'. Flush of anxiety. Then came up with my plan: I gave myself a 15minute time window to hang out with everyone there. Planned to say 'hello' to all and then excuse myself because 'I had to work' (was the truth...in the past I may have stretched myself to the brink and even the smallest hint of suggestion to stick around and have another).

Brought my own fizzy water in my pocket. Arrived. Was offered a drink. Flashed my fizzy water and said 'no thanks'. But I had to repeat that 4times in 15minutes.

Then left feeling great about my first 'encounter' and worked all night totally sober

Have a great time I always feel much better about something potentially challenging when I envision the outcome I would like to have.

falseemperor

Go there and just enjoy the food, running cant save you. U hawe to face it. U dknt need to dring.

Mentium

You say you 'want to go', but you don't say why. And you say that you might be putting yourself at risk of drinking - well implicitly or you wouldn't have posted this. So is the risk worth it? If you think there is at least a chance you might drink and you can stay away without hurting or insulting anyone I would at this early stage. A month or two in might be a different matter.

gettingbetter64

Thanks for the responses I appreciate it. I want to go because it's a surprise birthday party and I have to bring my gift. I'm planning on having a coke or water in my hand at all times and definitely eating.

FeelingGreat

I can respect that. I went to some events quite early, and missed some other which weren't important. It helps to get your guard up in advance, and personally I found the occasions where I was prepared much easier than the unexpected 'ambushes' that happen from time to time.