Ahhhh peace....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: NC
Posts: 117
Ahhhh peace....
Hello All!
I just wanted to share some steps I took over the last couple of days to get some Aaaahhhhh awesome peace. I made a commitment to do some house-sitting for a relative a few days ago. I looked forward to the time alone....quiet, peaceful time.
When my AH found out I was doing it he asked if he could come for a night and day. Rather than shut him right down, I thought, "Well, give it a chance, it might be a good thing." I did say that if he could spend the time with me sober that would be nice.... but if he did not feel he could do that I would rather be alone. I did not say it with any kind of anger, just stated a boundary.
Soooo, the night before I was supposed to leave, he drank again. Seriously, should not have been a surprise because it has been an almost daily event. I walked away from him that night and read, chatted with you all and took care of me. I also realized at that time I really DID need to spend the time alone. Reading, working steps, praying....healing. I ended up telling him that I needed the time alone for "me". I said I was not looking to hurt him, but I needed the time to work on me.
I can't begin to tell you how sweet the time has been to rest, read, pray, think, play with my relatives animals. I am trying REALLY hard NOT think about what he is doing with the time while I am away. I REALLY felt the sunshine on my face today and enjoyed the taste of the raindrops on my tongue this afternoon. I don't want to miss anymore of the simple and sweet things this life has to offer. Oh I am pretty sure I will slip back into sadness and worry at times.... but hopefully these last few days will help me snap out of it faster.
Just remembering....life is good.
I just wanted to share some steps I took over the last couple of days to get some Aaaahhhhh awesome peace. I made a commitment to do some house-sitting for a relative a few days ago. I looked forward to the time alone....quiet, peaceful time.
When my AH found out I was doing it he asked if he could come for a night and day. Rather than shut him right down, I thought, "Well, give it a chance, it might be a good thing." I did say that if he could spend the time with me sober that would be nice.... but if he did not feel he could do that I would rather be alone. I did not say it with any kind of anger, just stated a boundary.
Soooo, the night before I was supposed to leave, he drank again. Seriously, should not have been a surprise because it has been an almost daily event. I walked away from him that night and read, chatted with you all and took care of me. I also realized at that time I really DID need to spend the time alone. Reading, working steps, praying....healing. I ended up telling him that I needed the time alone for "me". I said I was not looking to hurt him, but I needed the time to work on me.
I can't begin to tell you how sweet the time has been to rest, read, pray, think, play with my relatives animals. I am trying REALLY hard NOT think about what he is doing with the time while I am away. I REALLY felt the sunshine on my face today and enjoyed the taste of the raindrops on my tongue this afternoon. I don't want to miss anymore of the simple and sweet things this life has to offer. Oh I am pretty sure I will slip back into sadness and worry at times.... but hopefully these last few days will help me snap out of it faster.
Just remembering....life is good.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: NC
Posts: 117
Oh how true on both counts!! Peace is seriously NEVER overrated! And it has been such an eye opener of what I miss out on when I get entangled in the chaos.
Just did some more step work this morning in the sunshine with my grand chickie sitting right by my feet. Ain't life grand?
Just did some more step work this morning in the sunshine with my grand chickie sitting right by my feet. Ain't life grand?
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: southern indiana
Posts: 2,145
thanks for this quiet, simple post. I needed to be reminded of simple pleasure on this day.
just had a lightbulb moment.....there was a time that just a little something-something would send me over the edge of the world into the dark abyss of insanity while living in my marriage with my XAH. just a tiny bit of crap could turn into a world of really big crap.
and now, many many years after the drama changed, I just realized that a little something-something can now send me into the glorious whirlwind elation of simple pleasures and the joys that can be experienced. I hope this makes sense.
your post gave me this little insight for myself.....thanks.
just had a lightbulb moment.....there was a time that just a little something-something would send me over the edge of the world into the dark abyss of insanity while living in my marriage with my XAH. just a tiny bit of crap could turn into a world of really big crap.
and now, many many years after the drama changed, I just realized that a little something-something can now send me into the glorious whirlwind elation of simple pleasures and the joys that can be experienced. I hope this makes sense.
your post gave me this little insight for myself.....thanks.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2014
Location: NC
Posts: 117
OH my goodness Embraced you make all the sense in the world!! Usually those simple things that send me over into a world of insanity are simply the straw that broke the camels back. NOW I can be immersed in pure joy with the simple pleasures of sunshine on my face, a raindrop on my tongue or my grand chickie racing to stay right by my foot because she feels safe next to me.
Embrace and savor every moment of the "little" things..... they really are the "big" things.
Love to you today my friend!
Embrace and savor every moment of the "little" things..... they really are the "big" things.
Love to you today my friend!
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