Finally beginning to feel free
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 52
Finally beginning to feel free
I know some of you have read my previous posts and have been MASSIVELY supportive to me. Thank you all for your kindness.
Won't go into it all, but I had a pretty rough ride at the hands of my cocaine-addicted alcoholic "friend" (I use the term loosely) that culminated in him telling me to eff off as I was the cause of his drinking! Typical A behaviour!
Well it's now been 7 weeks since I last spoke to him and I've just heard that he's been drinking and drugging heavily again, to the point that, for the first time ever, he was unable to have his daughter for the weekend. It's very sad to hear, but for the first time ever, I just thought "what a shame" rather than doing all the usual codie behaviour. Something of a personal breakthrough methinks!
I also felt good because it proved to all the people he's been berating me to, that I actually had nothing to do with his decision to be a drunken druggie. It was really quite jarring to get people telling me what an a-hole I was, only for them to now be left seeing the truth that I was never to blame. One of them even contacted me to apologise! I just said not to worry as I know how manipulative and charming he can be.
I now feel totally exonerated and am quite comfortable with cutting him out completely without an ounce of guilt! I just pity his next victim.
Anyway, I hope this feeling continues, and thank you all once again for hearing me vent and moan, and most of all, thank you for keeping me sane!! I was in a dark place and your support gave me that little glimmer of hope I needed to get me through. X
Won't go into it all, but I had a pretty rough ride at the hands of my cocaine-addicted alcoholic "friend" (I use the term loosely) that culminated in him telling me to eff off as I was the cause of his drinking! Typical A behaviour!
Well it's now been 7 weeks since I last spoke to him and I've just heard that he's been drinking and drugging heavily again, to the point that, for the first time ever, he was unable to have his daughter for the weekend. It's very sad to hear, but for the first time ever, I just thought "what a shame" rather than doing all the usual codie behaviour. Something of a personal breakthrough methinks!
I also felt good because it proved to all the people he's been berating me to, that I actually had nothing to do with his decision to be a drunken druggie. It was really quite jarring to get people telling me what an a-hole I was, only for them to now be left seeing the truth that I was never to blame. One of them even contacted me to apologise! I just said not to worry as I know how manipulative and charming he can be.
I now feel totally exonerated and am quite comfortable with cutting him out completely without an ounce of guilt! I just pity his next victim.
Anyway, I hope this feeling continues, and thank you all once again for hearing me vent and moan, and most of all, thank you for keeping me sane!! I was in a dark place and your support gave me that little glimmer of hope I needed to get me through. X
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
tjol81, so very glad to hear you're feeling better! He was no kind of friend to you, after all, was he? With friends like that, who needs enemies?
Again, glad you took the steps to leave him behind and that you've begun to see the insanity of the relationship as it had been.
Again, glad you took the steps to leave him behind and that you've begun to see the insanity of the relationship as it had been.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 16,246
tjol---Agreed....you have made giant progress!! Good for you!
My narcissistic exH...father of my children...spent some time poisioning the water when I announced that I was divorcing him. Outrageous lies?! It seems that this is such common behavior....to defend their own behavior by blaming false things on the very person who supported them. That was long ago....and I am well past all that...But, I Do remember how SHOCKED and angry and hurt that I felt when it was happening.
I am so glad that you have gotten past this, also.
dandylion
My narcissistic exH...father of my children...spent some time poisioning the water when I announced that I was divorcing him. Outrageous lies?! It seems that this is such common behavior....to defend their own behavior by blaming false things on the very person who supported them. That was long ago....and I am well past all that...But, I Do remember how SHOCKED and angry and hurt that I felt when it was happening.
I am so glad that you have gotten past this, also.
dandylion
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 52
Thank you both very much! Was a bit worried that this sea-change came about so quickly, but to be honest, I've been needing to get rid for months. The irony is that he cut me off and unwittingly did what I couldn't manage re no contact. It may be the only good thing he's ever done for me and he meant it to be good for him!
I just wish there was some way of letting others coming on to SR know that there is going to be a day when they "click" and start to heal and move forward. People kept telling me it would happen, but you never quite believe it until it actually does.
I just wish there was some way of letting others coming on to SR know that there is going to be a day when they "click" and start to heal and move forward. People kept telling me it would happen, but you never quite believe it until it actually does.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,450
Originally Posted by tjol81 
I just wish there was some way of letting others coming on to SR know that there is going to be a day when they "click" and start to heal and move forward. People kept telling me it would happen, but you never quite believe it until it actually does.
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