shellyinsd

My son as part of his sentencing in Dec. 2013 for dui has to report to the police station twice a day to have a pbt done. His reading has to be 0.00% or he goes to jail. There are all sorts of warnings of things he can't do before coming in for a test. He was put in jail this afternoon. His wife was told he flunked his sobriety test. Has anyone had any experience with getting readings and not having drank alcohol. I'm hoping that's what happened but I'm not ignorant. I'm sure there's more of a chance he drank alcohol. I'm a wreck. He can't talk to anyone until tomorrow.

redatlanta

No experience with this. My guess is he flunked for a reason.

So sorry this is happening (((hugs)))

Mango blast

Hi Shelly,

My husband has been relapsing on/off for a while now and when I've called him out on lies, he'll sometimes finally admit to them. He agrees with his rehab counselor that if an active alcoholic is talking, they're lying. When working recovery he's very honest; when drinking, he'll tell any lie that will possibly protect his disease.

If your son has been drinking, maybe jail will be a safer place for him tonight. Has he been through an inpatient rehab program? A friend of ours went through a state program for 6 months and said he only wishes he'd been forced into that earlier on instead of after the 4th DUI and federal charges. He's turning around his life and doing great now. It's not easy, but starting earlier with help is always good.

If he has been drinking, I hope this leads to something better for your son.

Mountainmanbob

we were (well educated) in regards to what
we could not eat or wear that would cause a flunking test

I was very scared of not passing the test
thus -- very careful

of the ones that I knew that I saw fail
I think that they were drinking

MM

shellyinsd

I'm afraid that tomorrow will reveal that he has been drinking. He's been doing a great job on a pretty intense schedule. Three mornings a week out-patient treatment, twice daily breathalizers and twice a week AA. He's been making it to all these appointments on his bike because he can't drive yet. I know there's been some stress between his wife and him and he doesn't handle that well. He's also been dealing with diagnosed panic disorder that's been acting up pretty bad from time to time. It's hard to not get a little discouraged for him but I'm good at keeping that to myself. Thanks for the responses.

Mango blast

The progress your son has made is great! Road bumps like this means there's more to be learned.

I'm grateful for our doctor teaching us to celebrate progress and the good times. It's easy to look at what's wrong. It important to acknowledge what we're learning to do right. Both of us also have anxiety issues; his are much more severe. From the relapses I've learned that his anxiety always has been the bigger issue for him, with alcoholism making it even worse. Alcohol is his coping mechanism that temporarily works, but actually makes it worse. The anxiety and panic need treatment just as much as the addiction does, or it continues to be a self-cycling battle.

I've learned to accept my husband fully, as he is today. Unreserved, unconditional love. I don't know where that came from except from working the 12 steps, Alanon, SR, and a ton of other things I've been doing for myself. Physical, mental and spiritual health. Mindfulness and living in the moment is huge. I can plan for possibilities in the future without getting tied up in future-tripping (most days ). Now I see my biggest hurdle is unconditional love and acceptance of myself. It's getting better.

My husband and I each need to be held accountable. At the same time, judging, berating, nagging, disappointment, etc. don't work. Those things continue to add pressure. Being able to talk to him in a balanced way that doesn't make him feel judged or pressured is a tough learned thing that I've been progressing with, but am far from perfect.

Go easy on yourself and your son. It's not a race, it's a journey. I'll be thinking of you both today and sending prayers.

Have you been going to Alanon and are you familiar with the Serenity Prayer?
Many very good people have the disease of alcoholism and are codependents.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ty-prayer.html

wanttobehealthy

Im sorry for your stress and angst and worry. Unlike a spouse who is an addict who one can divorce and walk away from, it must be infinitely more difficult to have it be a child.

I think probably he drank and you must know that too since you're asking if there's any other logical explanation, which, sadly, I doubt there is.

Do you have friends or a supportive group of people you can connect with?

shellyinsd

He did drink enough to blow .03 on his test. He was released from jail this morning. He met with his probation officer this morning and was told no more chances. His dui was in NE (my son lives in SD) and if he drinks again then he will be sent back to jail in NE. His wife and him got into an argument and he said he went on his bike and got a small bottle of vodka and drank some and then dumped the rest. I asked him what he's going to now and he said go back to no drinking. In his defense he has accomplished a lot since his dui in Dec. One of his biggest challenges is dealing with his panic disorder. He is on intermittent FLMA because of it but work is not accepting of the FMLA and that in turn causes more anxiety. Missing work and additional costs of the dui are causing marriage problems. He returned home from jail this morning to a wife telling him he has to be out by tomorrow and she's filing for a legal separation. That will not make the anxiety problems or the urge to drink any easier. There are two children involved, my beautiful granddaughters ages 2 and 9. My 9 year old granddaughter is going to be devestated. She's a daddy's girl. I've had anxiety issues since junior high so I understand how hard it can be to deal with. Sorry I'm going on and on. I just pray my son has the strength to make it through all this.

paige73

Yes, you can record positive for other reasons then drinking alcohol. For instance, using mouthwash that contains alcohol, etc. In the hospital, we frequently will get a positive if the lab tech or nurse, used an alcohol swab to clean the injection site vs using chlorahexadine. It's a small, minute amount and we all know what that means, so I'm pretty sure pbt are the same.

Mango blast

I've been thinking of you, Shelly. How are you doing? How is your son?