Sequel to Bingeing on Boxsets...Why?
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Sequel to Bingeing on Boxsets...Why?
I was having a conversation today with another member as to why so many of us have "binged on boxsets" in early recovery (reference the earlier thread on bingeing on boxsets) My hypothesis is based on my experience, but I'm wondering if others share a similar story. Before I gave up drinking I had what many would consider a pretty damn exciting social life. But it was all centered around ridiculous amounts of booze. My friends and I completely tore it up....I was the ringleader....I was out of control. As most of us have come to the same conclusion, this lifestyle was unsustainable. It was ruining my life and it was negatively affecting people that were close to me (other than my crazy drinking buddies). I tried on numerous occasions to moderate...it didn't work. I tried on numerous occasions to completely stop drinking....it didn't work. Finally, by the grace of God, I was able to stop. It hasn't been easy, but I've managed to fight through the urges and cravings thus far. SR has been a key part of my recovery.
So how does one replace the excitement of going out 4-5 nights a week, surrounded by his "good buddies", hot women, bottles of booze....hangovers, regret, guilt, anxiety, depression, blackouts when the party ends? For me it was and continues to be boxsets. Maybe I'm living vicariously through these boxsets instead of going out and tearing it up. There's suspense, drama, excitement in all of these boxsets. That's why we're always asking should we watch just one more episode tonight? Or is it simply the addict in all of us here and are we just replacing one addiction with another? In any event, I'll happily take the boxsets and my sobriety. I feel like I've gotten my life back. I feel like my oldselfagain
So how does one replace the excitement of going out 4-5 nights a week, surrounded by his "good buddies", hot women, bottles of booze....hangovers, regret, guilt, anxiety, depression, blackouts when the party ends? For me it was and continues to be boxsets. Maybe I'm living vicariously through these boxsets instead of going out and tearing it up. There's suspense, drama, excitement in all of these boxsets. That's why we're always asking should we watch just one more episode tonight? Or is it simply the addict in all of us here and are we just replacing one addiction with another? In any event, I'll happily take the boxsets and my sobriety. I feel like I've gotten my life back. I feel like my oldselfagain
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Join Date: Mar 2014
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I've watched so many full series on Netflix I can't even count.
It's a harmless thing, unless it becomes four hours a day, I guess.
I think this forum is the same type of addiction, one I need to break. I need real life face to face relationships, but right now I'm having to go slowly in building trust with people. My past life has not been filled with the most healthy of relationships.
It's a harmless thing, unless it becomes four hours a day, I guess.
I think this forum is the same type of addiction, one I need to break. I need real life face to face relationships, but right now I'm having to go slowly in building trust with people. My past life has not been filled with the most healthy of relationships.
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Join Date: Apr 2014
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Yeah...addiction is addiction is addiction.
I hear you regarding replacing once super exciting thing (the night life) and searching for another in recovery.
Personally, I love a transformative experience...anywhere and everywhere. I really appreciate learning, reading about adventures in a book, or watching something on the tv that I could not otherwise do in real life. Vicarious living. That is the positive spin.
The above is super-stimulating in the head and releases endorphins for me just as much as a great run or a a new hot sauce. Like I wrote in my very first post...I try really, really hard to get out of my own head - something I have struggled to understand my entire life.
I say 'struggle' but the truth is that I love my head
This brain of mine has taken me to far corners of the world on great adventures, met interesting people (thanks Sr-ers), accomplished thrilling and exciting feats. As I have gotten older, I have realized that there are limits to the intensity that both my head and body can tolerate.
In my case, my body gave up long before my head did. Then began the struggle to slow it down, and be still...strike a balance. Which brings me to the point. Watching a TV series is an adventure on the couch that takes me out of my head. Aside from sleep-deprivation, Netflix is a lot less stressful and risky than jetting off to Calcutta.
Unless, I am watching 'Dexter' of course - which is out of the question (Eeeew). For me the reason for watching an exciting 'who-dun-it' is similar to going out for a great run or eating half a pint of B&J "Phish Food" (like I did last night WHILE watching the first episode of 'The Wire'). And, the above are a lot less addictive or destructive than my favorite cigarettes, booze or nights out on the town with buddies (well, the B&J half-pint is questionable).
Apologies for the long, deep answer on a light-hearted thread...it is just something I have thought a lot about over the years. I come from a long line of intense, addiction prone personalities...and have learned that a balance with everything in life does indeed need to be struck. The ultimate goal for me is the ability to be still and be at peace - and I am not there.
I do not think that my experience is so unique...I'm just at one end of the spectrum. 'Beautifully tweaked'. Great question Myoldselfagain!
I hear you regarding replacing once super exciting thing (the night life) and searching for another in recovery.
Personally, I love a transformative experience...anywhere and everywhere. I really appreciate learning, reading about adventures in a book, or watching something on the tv that I could not otherwise do in real life. Vicarious living. That is the positive spin.
The above is super-stimulating in the head and releases endorphins for me just as much as a great run or a a new hot sauce. Like I wrote in my very first post...I try really, really hard to get out of my own head - something I have struggled to understand my entire life.
I say 'struggle' but the truth is that I love my head
This brain of mine has taken me to far corners of the world on great adventures, met interesting people (thanks Sr-ers), accomplished thrilling and exciting feats. As I have gotten older, I have realized that there are limits to the intensity that both my head and body can tolerate.In my case, my body gave up long before my head did. Then began the struggle to slow it down, and be still...strike a balance. Which brings me to the point. Watching a TV series is an adventure on the couch that takes me out of my head. Aside from sleep-deprivation, Netflix is a lot less stressful and risky than jetting off to Calcutta.
Unless, I am watching 'Dexter' of course - which is out of the question (Eeeew). For me the reason for watching an exciting 'who-dun-it' is similar to going out for a great run or eating half a pint of B&J "Phish Food" (like I did last night WHILE watching the first episode of 'The Wire'). And, the above are a lot less addictive or destructive than my favorite cigarettes, booze or nights out on the town with buddies (well, the B&J half-pint is questionable).
Apologies for the long, deep answer on a light-hearted thread...it is just something I have thought a lot about over the years. I come from a long line of intense, addiction prone personalities...and have learned that a balance with everything in life does indeed need to be struck. The ultimate goal for me is the ability to be still and be at peace - and I am not there.
I do not think that my experience is so unique...I'm just at one end of the spectrum. 'Beautifully tweaked'. Great question Myoldselfagain!
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Originally Posted by Oldselfagain 
I was having a conversation today with another member as to why so many of us have "binged on boxsets" in early recovery
We are interested in all and any kind of responses and discussion on this topic. Those that got to know me on SR a bit can probably guess I was more thinking in the deeper analytical realms when this came up, but the truth is, sometimes it's better to not dive into everything so deeply and just enjoy the experience, whatever drives it.
So please, those that like to engage in watching these shows and discussed them so enthusiastically on Oldself's other thread (that had nothing to do with me and he and I talking about this!), please comment here if you feel like it. In any form - must be an interesting group therapy sort of thing!
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I missed the other thread, but Netflix series is something I've given lot of time and thought to.
I love reality shows and mystery shows.
Reality shows because at least some of the interactions are real. I have very few men in my life, don't understand them AT ALL and find that watching shows about the ways they make a living, the ways they engage in risky behavior and the ways they interact with those close to them is helpful for my real life interactions with men. I've learned a lot by watching shows that are not 100% scripted. Conflict resolution, tight bonds with others, etc. I have no family, so family stuff and how families act is always fascinating to me.
The thing about mysteries (scripted ones) is that - unlike life, there is an answer to how and why and who in a mystery show. I tend to be really analytical by nature, so of course I try to figure it all out before it is revealed, and I especially like a good mystery with a few twists - so there is some surprise. Like life. Always a surprise around every corner.
Oh! And travel or historical documentaries, or anthropological stuff. Love. I think I've seen every one of those on Netflix. I am enjoying the latest Anthony Bourdain/CNN series, I'm about halfway through. What could be better than Anthony Bourdain combined with some of the hot-spots in the news, like China and Israel and Libya/Egypt?
I love reality shows and mystery shows.
Reality shows because at least some of the interactions are real. I have very few men in my life, don't understand them AT ALL and find that watching shows about the ways they make a living, the ways they engage in risky behavior and the ways they interact with those close to them is helpful for my real life interactions with men. I've learned a lot by watching shows that are not 100% scripted. Conflict resolution, tight bonds with others, etc. I have no family, so family stuff and how families act is always fascinating to me.
The thing about mysteries (scripted ones) is that - unlike life, there is an answer to how and why and who in a mystery show. I tend to be really analytical by nature, so of course I try to figure it all out before it is revealed, and I especially like a good mystery with a few twists - so there is some surprise. Like life. Always a surprise around every corner.
Oh! And travel or historical documentaries, or anthropological stuff. Love. I think I've seen every one of those on Netflix. I am enjoying the latest Anthony Bourdain/CNN series, I'm about halfway through. What could be better than Anthony Bourdain combined with some of the hot-spots in the news, like China and Israel and Libya/Egypt?
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The space / void has to be filled. I was addicted to SR and reading about 'recovery' for a few months. After six months i was less "driven" in my thinking and more stable emotionally- i moved on to other things. Over time there was more balance- i started to excercise more, for me that was bikeriding, some swimming. I also bought a guitar and decided i wanted to write a song before i die- a new world started to open up. later i joined a music group. So things grow and develop- at three years i feel i am still getting my life back.
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I'd put it down to a welcome distraction and a bit of healthy escapism. While you're enjoying the harmless ride-along with your favourite chatacters in a TV show, you' re not obsessing over the life you gave up or thinking about the next hell-ride of your own while on the booze. As sad as it sounds, at 35 I still feel a need to have idols or role models, especially of the sort I didnt have in real life. I'd rather spend time with fictitious, positive or interesting people than go back to my previous life and spend time with real, negative, destructive and poisonous people that will evetually help destroy me.
I'll take the make believe over the real while I fix my life
I'll take the make believe over the real while I fix my life
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Hey everyone,
back to this a little... So it sounds like Oldself's hypothesis was more or less valid. It's a good and very practical way to enhance our realities, I think. Just like art in general - both for the artists that express themselves and the receivers.
I have one curiosity left, though. I grew up in a household where watching TV was THE activity each night - only child - my parents would basically sit down in front of the TV daily at ~7-8 pm and go to bed from there. I personally developed an aversion, I think, due to these childhood experiences, and still don't like TV much and especially spending my evenings with it. My dad and I had lots of fun with watching detective stories, psychological thrillers, even the news and all sorts of things occasionally, but I would get bored with these and sometimes disturbed when my parents got glued to the TV at nights, I sometimes would have wanted to interact with them in different ways, but not much luck as a child.
For those of you who live with a family and follow these evening routines - do you ever worry about it?
back to this a little... So it sounds like Oldself's hypothesis was more or less valid. It's a good and very practical way to enhance our realities, I think. Just like art in general - both for the artists that express themselves and the receivers.
I have one curiosity left, though. I grew up in a household where watching TV was THE activity each night - only child - my parents would basically sit down in front of the TV daily at ~7-8 pm and go to bed from there. I personally developed an aversion, I think, due to these childhood experiences, and still don't like TV much and especially spending my evenings with it. My dad and I had lots of fun with watching detective stories, psychological thrillers, even the news and all sorts of things occasionally, but I would get bored with these and sometimes disturbed when my parents got glued to the TV at nights, I sometimes would have wanted to interact with them in different ways, but not much luck as a child.
For those of you who live with a family and follow these evening routines - do you ever worry about it?
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