TexasAngel8

I probably know the answer to this, but I'm talking it out, and voices of reason are always good.

So, my non-live in boyfriend of 6 years is probably an alcoholic. I say probably because I tend to compare how different he is from my previous relationship. XAH was an alcoholic by every definition. We lived in Jerry Springer crazy world. My BF is different. He drinks basically every day (with the occasional random Sunday off), but it's not that bad. He is looser, not so stony, laughs a lot, more open to telling me how he feels about things, doesn't get fall down drunk very often (once a month maybe), and is never mean or hurtful. He has his 7-14 beers and it's uneventful.

Why does it bother me then? And is this really bad? He's great in most every way.

lillamy

Maybe because you've already read the next chapter in this book and knows what happens next?

GracieLou

I think you need to remind yourself that alcoholism is progressive. It may be that now but will it be that way two years from now, ten years for now?

I also think you need to ask yourself what it is you want for you. It is your life and if you feel you can accept the way he is now knowing in the back of your mind it may get worse then you can accept it and be prepared to live with that decision.

You may find it is fine now but later it is not.

I think it is time for rigorous honesty. To thine own self be true.

Anyone and everyone can tell you that you do not have to live that way but it is your choice to make whether you do or not. Some can accept it, some cannot.

BlueSkies1

It bothers you because you know that the need to alter reality and drink everyday is a mental illness.
Even someone who is realistic, appears balanced, is thoughtful, non-reactive, kind, and considerate, a hard worker, a lover of life, a success, spiritual, healthy, and surrounded by friends and family...

will still succumb. It's just a matter of time.

Alcohol abuse ruins people.

Mango blast

I didn't know how terrible this was because my viewpoint was skewed. It does get progressively worse. From what I've been through, this is almost worse than being able to see the damage that's happening. It's slow and insidious. It will get much, much worse, but all along it's like a frog in a pot of slowing heating water that we get used to it over time and won't jump out even when it's scorching hot.

ichabod

Not everyone who drinks a lot is an alcoholic, but you've lived it and were traumatized by it and don't want to go through it again. His drinking may or may not be a problem for him, but it definitely seems to be a problem for you. Listen to your inner voice.