christimc

Without alcohol, how did yall transition to believing you could have fun? Ive tied alcohol into so many activities that now i don't know how ti have fun, especially weekends...

Dee74

I have a lot more fun now I'm not passed out, obnoxious, sick, or embarrassing

Fun is fun. It doesn't need alcohol or drugs to make it so.
I'm having the best time of my life.

First things first tho - learn how to be sober first then you can learn how to be happy about that.

you're in early recovery - a lot of that's not fun - but it's not forever

stay committed to recovery and you'll be fine Christi
D

least

My idea of what was 'fun' changed since getting sober. Now it's fun to remember everything and to wake up feeling good.

nogard

Ditto what Dee said. Early recover is great cos your sober but can at times be challenging.

Its ok to feel good without a substance in your blood.

Also life is life its fun sometimes and sometimes not, but its always good to be clean and sober and know who I am

Stick around and keep talking

DoubleDragons

I still go to a lot of events that I did when I was drinking. (family events, holiday celebrations, trips, work parties) I am continually amazed that often they are every bit as fun as when I was drinking. And the boring times, well they are still boring. But the difference is that I don't drink myself into oblivion to make up for being bored. The bonus of this is that I don't wake up horrified, not remembering half the "fun" I had the night before, and lying in bed with a pounding headache and a burning stomach. Read Jason Vale's Kick the Drink Easily. It really puts it all into perspective . . . .

christimc

Where can i get that book? Ty guys

Dee74

Amazon is a good place for most books, especially secondhand - or your local library may have it Christi?

D

Nonsensical

I remember that period of early sobriety all too well. I had never done much with my free time except sitting around being drunk. I didn't know how to do much else.

Now I regret wasting so much time.

You'll get there, too. It takes time and we alcoholics are notoriously impatient.

Keep going, you can do this!

doggonecarl

Your post is entitled, "how to realize life is worth living"

In the body of the post, you ask about having "fun" without alcohol. Do you really equate a life worth living to having fun?

I'm not implying that enjoying oneself's is forbidden, or frivolous. But to tie the worth of living to some weekend activity seems self-demeaning.

Perhaps you could start by exploring what you truly value...what's important to you. Then set goals that align with those values. We know what it was you valued before...it was alcohol. So now you need to find true meaning in life. And that's not found in a fun-seeking activity.

360shoes

Hi Christimc,
I think you nailed it when you said you don't know how. I didn't either. I didn't know how to do a lot of things after I quit. Feel my feelings was another one. Heck. I couldn't even tell the difference between them at first. They all felt like fear and anger. I kept waiting for a happy one to show up.

Then it dawned on me that was the point of trying. Anything. How would I know what I actually consider to be fun if I didn't go try different things. Not everything I used to do I think is much fun now and a few things I never did I actually like. You just got to try and see what sticks.

I'm not so sure that most people don't have to give a few things a shot and see what happens. They probably just did it a lot sooner than me beings that most of my early days were spent just thinking partying and drinking was fun. They were out skydiving or something. Who knows. I'm a late bloomer.

I've found that fun usually comes after the fact. It's amazing to me how stupid things turn out to be a lot of fun now. It's really more about the company I keep anyway. I like to be close to fun positive people who can make doing the laundry a good time.

So I found out that really what I think is fun is laughing and goofing off with people who care about me. We can do anything. We will make it fun. And that evolved from me figuring out that it first just can't be centered around drinking and that I actually need to bring it too. I have to do my fair share of being silly and laughing.

I have fun doing whatever now. Humor is what does it for me. I love to laugh and smile. I'm glad it doesn't take much for me. I don't want to skydive.

Hang in there. You are doing great. Do your best. You deserve to enjoy life.

lifenomad

I was like that for 7 years daily, with 0 days missed. Any night I didn't drink was a night wasted, I had to. After those 7 years I had 3 more years of weekend only, binge, basically going all in as much as I could take, drink till I pass.

All the while doing everything, going out with family, get togethers, I had different large plastic cups from the gas station I could fit a whole can of 24oz beer in so it looked like I was drinking a soda, and I mean putting in the whole aluminum can (not just pouring in beer). I would go grocery shopping with it too.

The only way you will have fun is for the urge to leave you, because if its there you wont stop thinking of it until you have it. You need to find yourself. You need to fill that void with other activites, such as exercise maybe(helped me a lot), or crafts or selling stuff on ebay, something that will distract you from the alcohol.

It is a slow transition and will take time for your body to stop asking for it

christimc

In no way did i mean to imply life has to be fun. Self demeaning seems kind of harsh. Too frivolous for me to get upset. Anyway i usually dont have any activities that doesnt involve alcohol. I thought this was a non judgemental place :\ i was being honest that in my situation, no i don't know how to enjoy life sober. If that makes me selfish or self demeaning than so be it. At least im honest about my sobriety.

FreeOwl

what's worked for me is going and doing fun things and not drinking.

VOILA!! Much to my amazement, fun things are not only still FUN when sober... they're more fun. They're memorable. They're REAL.

Also - some of the things I believed were 'fun' while drinking aren't really all that fun. So now I'm blessed with the ability to choose which things I will focus my life on and which things will actually BE fun....

Samsonsworld

I'm in the same boat, if it makes you feel better. I appreciate your thread.

It's especially difficult to find things to entertain yourself in West Texas, huh? Especially since they ran everybody off of the Crane Sandhills. Used to be one of my favorite places to ride ATVs.

Aellyce

I'd known long before quitting without doubt that life would be MUCH more fun without alcohol. Just could not make it happen for years because of my addiction and because I had not made the necessary changes and efforts to turn my life over in the way I knew it would work. For me awareness and knowing many things were very far from enough to make it happen, just like it it for many of us. The nature of addiction.

Do you have things you know you used to like, but the drinking lifestyle cut you from these interests? I'd had lots of such interests in the past that I cultivated with a passion until my alcoholism put most of these in a blur and I had nearly nothing but alcohol itself in the foreground. Now I'm getting back to many of these old passions and am trying to look for new ones. It's all much more fun indeed because I'm not sick and tired and unmotivated all the time, and have a clear mind for the activities. Lots of them are pretty simple, such as reading, walking, discovering new neighborhoods in my city, museums...

If you are a more extroverted person and prefer activities with other people and "fun" tended to equal with partying, maybe the best is to drastically change your social circles. Many people have done that based on what I read on SR. For me that was not an issue since I had mostly zero social life in the last couple years of my drinking, so it's fun for me to meet people now through my interests.

Another suggestion: perhaps instead of looking for "fun" by its conventional definition - try to think differently and ask, what sort of things could be *meaningful* to you? Interests and activities that you could grow from and enjoy in some sort of "larger than yourself" implication way?

MIRecovery

There are a million things to enjoy sober. There really are very few things that require drinking other than being drunk

christimc

Everything is a matter of opinion. To you there may be a million things but i am not you and your recovery is not my recovery. So when i say i dont know how pls stop with the comments telling me there IS other things to do and no activity involves alcohol except to get drunk. Duh dont you think i know that? Every situation is diff. Some of yours (only 2 i see) are being one sided. Just because thats how U feel doesnt mean thats how I feel.

Aellyce

Correct, but you posted a thread asking our views, and you have gotten just that: our different kinds of opinions and personal experiences. Eventually, of course it's up to you how you use it, what you synthesize for yourself, how you approach your own recovery (and what will be your own personal motivations to get into recovery, if..). What we share are our stories - yours will be 100% yours. I personally get tons of useful pieces of information, suggestions, and inspiration from SR. I do believe in the "we need to be ready" concept, though. I first started posting spuriously on SR in 2011... got feedback... did not use any of it till early this year. But I lurked often and it had all been incubating in my mind, I think.

Well, I will only say - very best wishes for your journey

christimc

I didnt ask your opinion on my recovery simply what you did in your recovery.

christimc

Doesnt matter id rather delete this thread.