Greg1959

I don't know if anyone else feels this, but I feel that counting my days sober is somehow counting the days until my next drink, and that somehow I should be allowed to have a drink because I have been sober for X amount of days. In line with me taking one day at a time, I am going to stop counting the days and class every day as DAY 1.

Greg1959

And just to add to that.....it really makes no difference how long since I have had a drink ..it only matters that I don't drink today.

biminiblue

Do whatever works for you. It is after all always one day at a time.

doggonecarl

Count...don't count. Whatever works. I never saw the connection between counting and relapsing, but that's probably because I counted when I first got sober this last time.

The idea that you "deserve" a drink probably has more to do with one's addictive voice (AV) rather than one's count of sober days. It (the voice) will find some other reason to drink, some reason to reward yourself. Just be vigilant about it.

Good luck.

Greg1959

I absolutely 100% agree....its all about what works for us as individuals. Or even what works just for today. I will try anything that keeps my AV from convincing me to drink.

Raider

I like that a lot.

UnixBer

That idea of suddenly changing tactics about recovery hit me in the eyes. Whatever works is what works, yet from personal struggle with the AV I can tell that for me the AV has used a few times the idea of "suddenly changing my tactics somehow radically". It has said that I should stop reading SR because it reminds me of the addiction and all kinds of lies. I speak only of personal experience and it may not apply to you, but still I find that the AV likes to use any chaos or fast changes to its benefit.

Personally, I still count days at day 324. It is a cornerstone in a way but not a matter of stress. Just something to be proud of. Anyway, whatever works is individual of course.

AVRT Big Plan speaks of not counting and follows the similar thought you mentioned that "it is basically giving the addiction 'something to look forward to'". Still no one person is the same. Keep on...

zerothehero

The 26th reminds me it's another month, but I've also stopped counting days. I'm just lazy about the arithmetic.

Lyrel

I can definitely relate. I personally find it easier (mentally, emotionally, w/e) to just go a day at a time, and not focus on how long it is/was. As long as I don't drink today... Cause if I do, all these months and years will go down the drain very soon anyways.

theupsides92

Especially this early on for me (3 days) and in the past when I made it barely longer (8 days), I can really identify with this. I think that what I need to do is focus on the future and making a positive influence on the people around me and on myself. The I've been sober for 1 year thing might be a pretty cool milestone for us, WHEN (not IF) we get there. I wish you well.

DNVR

I have stopped counting days on a regular basis, but I do use an iPhone app called "I Am Sober" to keep track of my days. It's nice to check in every once in a while and see that I am ___ days sober. I find it helps with keeping me on the right track.

DNVR

afloatsober

I count days, weeks ,months and now years. If every day was day one i would be in big trouble. Day one was awful, right through to about day 21.
For me time sober is important because with time sober my healing progresses.
It is statistically true that for some long term drinkers it can take a year for liver counts to fall into normal range. It is also true that relapse is much less likely for those with sobriety over 3 years....
I can only stay sober one day at a time, but cumulative time in recovery is significant for all sorts of reasons for me.
But whatever works is great for each of us. Just so long as it works...

nogard

in early recovery I was to buggered to decide what I needed to do, so I did what others where doing, so long as I didn't pick up.

For me keeping track of my clean time reminds me that I have a dis-ease and that I need to be alert.

Also the milestones are a celebration of what we can do and every day is a courgeous miracle.

LadyBlue0527

I came up with something recently that nails people's choice of method for me.

The journey of sobriety and recovery is a path paved with numerous potholes. If I choose to jump over them and you choose to walk around them who cares as long as we make it to the other side and are happy about it?

If counting every day as day 1 works for you then so be it.

I see the counting differently than you do (neither way is wrong). For me, if every day was day 1 I would use that as an excuse. If I drank today then that would be of no consequence for me because it was only day 1 and I can have another day 1 tomorrow.

However, even where I don't count days anymore if I reference my app I know that today I have 352 days. Knowing that I have come as far as I have is a great tool for me when the AV comes calling. It also keeps me mindful of how much time and distance I have achieved separated from the living hell that I was in. The more days I have the more committed I am to remaining this way.

This is your journey, you have to do whatever it is that you must to remain sober and be happy about it. If this works for you then that's great. As long as you're being honest with yourself then who cares?

I do see where you're coming from but here's a thought to ponder. The AV works in very mysterious ways. If you see counting as being the number of days until your next drink then where does always being on day one leave you?

Wendy59

I tend to agree with you Gregg, although I am only on my second day. I am trying to take the approach a new healthy me and replacing the alcohol with some good food and juices. When I get to a week sober then I will count that as a milestone, also a month etc but trying hard to focus on that I'm not depriving myself of anything I am making the decision not to put poison in my poor body (have been drinking for 30 yrs) just treating it kindly and nourishing it and as the days pass and months I will reap the rewards...if that makes any sense.

Notmyrealname

I don't count days but people like measurements, so sometimes I pull up the date calculator. I know my one-year is coming up next month. People also like round numbers and milestones, so a year, for whatever reason, sounds more important than 360 days. So I will probably post something when I have a year sober, and might have something special to eat.

But yeah all these days are the same as other days, and it's probably better to be thinking forward than constantly measuring back. Why concern oneself with what you did 360 days ago when you could be thinking about what the future will bring? Eyes-forward, head up, greet and meet the new day. Make it a great one!

flutter

When I was in counseling and talked about this, my counselor told me that he felt it is important to remember the date of my sobriety journey, not the number of days. More like an anchor, a benchmark for my new life. I think I counted for a few months, I saw it as more of an achievement record than anything, but after a while I tired of it and couldn't see the point, I was relieved at least that my counselor agreed I notice the date on my yearly anniversary, and sort of nod and move along with my day.

freshstart57

I will never forget the day I quit drinking, and I can calculate how many days it was since that day, but I can't tell you now what that number might be. I look at it like the day I released myself from prison, the day I decided 'I will never now drink'.

For me, I quit. Done. A completed action in the past. I am not any quittier today than I was yesterday.

I think you are doing just great, Greg1959. Onward with your badass self! I think you need a special hat.

Carlotta

The counting days, 24 hours at a time technique can be very useful for some and I am supportive of them (I check in daily in Deeker's 24 hours club) but it can also give the av ammunition to others.
I don't count: I know my sobriety date but I got an app which keep track of time which comes in handy when I am at a meeting where they announce "proud time". Without that app, I d be clueless (what's new? LOL)
I ll announce my time to show the newcomers that it can be done.
Personally, the way I approach it is that I don't drink period. This is not negotiable.
Just do what you feel comfortable with and do not pick up the first drink no matter what

jdooner

Counting days is irrelevant in my opinion. However, I do question the true motives behind this. I have never ever seen someone with long term sobriety post I don't want to count days. Yet I constantly read posts from people recently sober that talk about how they don't want to count days. Again, context is difficult to grasp in a post but I would question the true motives.

I do think there is value in you sobriety date to realize a demarcation line as to when you changed your life. Yeah, I do believe recovery means a change in your life - not just removing alcohol but actually changing everything about your life.

Lastly, I hear many talk about living one day at a time. Or you can only be sober one day at I time. I actually disagree with this mindset personally but in no way want to put down what is working for others. But I don't live to be in recovery. Recovery is what allows me to live. I know that I can drink or use whenever I choose but I choose to never take a drink or drug to alter my state of mind ever if I want the life I want to lead.

I hope this does not come across as arrogant - I am a 12 stepper but I strongly disagree with the 1 day at a time perspective other than to live in the present. BTW _ its not part of the 12 steps either. Hope that makes sense.