How do you know when it's a problem?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 91
How do you know when it's a problem?
My mind is already racing with questions of how do you know? How do you know when your drinking is actually a problem?
I don't think of alcohol when I first wake up, I do not drink everyday, I do not drink consistently, I don't always get drunk when I drink. I haven't had any real outstanding consequences from drinking... But as I have posted here the past it's almost like Russian roulette if when I start I can moderate or if I binge.
What led me to this website in the first place is my emotional response to getting drunk. It is a sin, it is weakness, it is not becoming.... I like to be in control at all times, I thrived for perfection.... And you can't achieve any of that when you have consume too much alcohol.
I am thinking about calling my counselor and setting up an appointment with him to find out if my drinking is a result to the physical addiction or if it's a response to the way my brain thrives and strives for perfection.... The stress is stressing me out.
Does anyone out there have experience with this or any supportive words you can lend me? I am widely known as the person who is analytical and an rational thinker, over analytical at times, way too hard on herself, and unforgiving of my own mistakes. I fear if I continue to use alcohol as a way to relieve the pressure put on myself it's going to eventually become physically addictive, especially if the numbing effect is already becoming emotionally addictive.
I don't think of alcohol when I first wake up, I do not drink everyday, I do not drink consistently, I don't always get drunk when I drink. I haven't had any real outstanding consequences from drinking... But as I have posted here the past it's almost like Russian roulette if when I start I can moderate or if I binge.
What led me to this website in the first place is my emotional response to getting drunk. It is a sin, it is weakness, it is not becoming.... I like to be in control at all times, I thrived for perfection.... And you can't achieve any of that when you have consume too much alcohol.
I am thinking about calling my counselor and setting up an appointment with him to find out if my drinking is a result to the physical addiction or if it's a response to the way my brain thrives and strives for perfection.... The stress is stressing me out.
Does anyone out there have experience with this or any supportive words you can lend me? I am widely known as the person who is analytical and an rational thinker, over analytical at times, way too hard on herself, and unforgiving of my own mistakes. I fear if I continue to use alcohol as a way to relieve the pressure put on myself it's going to eventually become physically addictive, especially if the numbing effect is already becoming emotionally addictive.
Member
Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 73
For me, I doubted it was a problem because I didn't drink daily. Only on occasions (watching a sports game, wedding, party, etc.). I realized it IS a problem because oftentimes having one or two drinks turned into events that I would black out. And, I would wake up with guilt and regret and shame. I realized that I had little control over when the one drink would turn into 10+. So my only recourse is to avoid that first drink...
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
To me it's a problem if you can't control it. People without issues don't even use words like moderate or binge. It's just not that big a deal to them. I think most of us know if it's a problem deep down. I'd also venture to guess that if you have even found SR there are worries about drinking. We all understand.
I didn't drink in the day time, or drink every day (probably because I needed a day in between to feel better again), or get arrested for a dui (although I was very lucky) and people weren't lecturing me about drinking, but I knew I had a problem. I think more people have a problem controlling it than not-that's why there are so many drunk jokes, and stereotypes.
I don't think it's especially important whether you call yourself an alcoholic or not. Just know you've come to a good place to get some support if you're thinking of stopping.
You may feel that alcohol is relieving the pressure but in many ways it is probably contributing to your overall stress. If you like to be in control at all times you will achieve that way more often if you quit.
I didn't drink in the day time, or drink every day (probably because I needed a day in between to feel better again), or get arrested for a dui (although I was very lucky) and people weren't lecturing me about drinking, but I knew I had a problem. I think more people have a problem controlling it than not-that's why there are so many drunk jokes, and stereotypes.
I don't think it's especially important whether you call yourself an alcoholic or not. Just know you've come to a good place to get some support if you're thinking of stopping.
You may feel that alcohol is relieving the pressure but in many ways it is probably contributing to your overall stress. If you like to be in control at all times you will achieve that way more often if you quit.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 91
Originally Posted by zerothehero 
Your last paragraph is telling. You're looking for a healthier alternative to deal with emotions. Physical dependence is a secondary issue.
waking down
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 4,641
I quit drinking for similar reasons. The Mindful Path to Addiction Recovery is a book that helped me tons. Even if you're not really and addict. There are books along the same lines specifically about mindfulness and stress. And self-compassion.
pray for strength
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: New England
Posts: 2,414
My immediate thought after reading your post:
Take away the alcohol and take away the fear & time consuming conversation in your head.
I found it helpful to make a timeline of my relationship with alcohol. For me this happened accidentally while I was updating my resume/CV.
Definitely consider talking with a therapist and/or prescribing Psychiatrist - they may know nothing about you when you walk through the door but have a whole lot of insight into the human condition that can help sort through your thoughts. You need not come away from the conversation with the diagnosis 'alcoholism'.
I never thought I had a problem because _____________. Every reason was an excuse. Comparisons were constantly made to those around me and I realized that no one in my life was ever going to call me on my drinking (ouch! that 's a painful realization) - except for me.
There is nothing else in my life with such a love/hate relationship worth keeping around. Once realized, I decided I did not want to go to therapy to continue drinking. That realization was the easy, yet hard to come by, part.
I'm Day 13 without alcohol and it is really hard for me to be in my own head 24/7 - now I am certain that alcohol was a problem.
Good job questioning things! That's how true growth and insight occurs IMHO.
Take away the alcohol and take away the fear & time consuming conversation in your head.
I found it helpful to make a timeline of my relationship with alcohol. For me this happened accidentally while I was updating my resume/CV.
Definitely consider talking with a therapist and/or prescribing Psychiatrist - they may know nothing about you when you walk through the door but have a whole lot of insight into the human condition that can help sort through your thoughts. You need not come away from the conversation with the diagnosis 'alcoholism'.
I never thought I had a problem because _____________. Every reason was an excuse. Comparisons were constantly made to those around me and I realized that no one in my life was ever going to call me on my drinking (ouch! that 's a painful realization) - except for me.
There is nothing else in my life with such a love/hate relationship worth keeping around. Once realized, I decided I did not want to go to therapy to continue drinking. That realization was the easy, yet hard to come by, part.
I'm Day 13 without alcohol and it is really hard for me to be in my own head 24/7 - now I am certain that alcohol was a problem.
Good job questioning things! That's how true growth and insight occurs IMHO.
Last edited by Verte; 05-12-2014 at 11:39 AM. Reason: add the word "consider' to talking with therapist.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
Let's leave the A word out of it cos it seems like that terrifies you.
When you have a long list of the times you've embarrassed yourself, damaged relationships, gotten into dangerous situations, blew off responsibilities, acted atypically, put your relationship with alcohol ahead of other relationships or responsibilities, lied or hid things because you were ashamed of your problem, been mortified by events of the night before, used alcohol as an escape, or told yourself you wouldn't get drunk but you did....
I think you can safely assume you have a problem and you need to fix it.
D
When you have a long list of the times you've embarrassed yourself, damaged relationships, gotten into dangerous situations, blew off responsibilities, acted atypically, put your relationship with alcohol ahead of other relationships or responsibilities, lied or hid things because you were ashamed of your problem, been mortified by events of the night before, used alcohol as an escape, or told yourself you wouldn't get drunk but you did....
I think you can safely assume you have a problem and you need to fix it.
D
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