PlentyGood

Hello, this is my first post. I brought my sister to a crisis rehab/detox center for the first time today. She was admitted.

My sister is in her late thirties. I am a couple years older. I knew my sister liked to drink wine. A couple years ago I noticed an increase in her drinking and warned her that she was drinking too much. We live in the same town, right down the street from one another.

A couple weeks ago she began to have increased anxiety and panic attacks. She had some diarrhea and vomiting and missed a few days of work. (She never misses work.) She was pretty much crying all day and in a state of extreme anxiety. She was suffering from alcohol withdrawal and I didn't put two and two together.

She was great at lying and hiding because evidently she has been drinking every day for the last four to five years. She has had blackouts, falls, and prior alcohol withdrawal symptoms. I guess she has been trying to stop or cut back and she was going through horrible withdrawals. In an effort to calm her anxiety, and withdrawal symptoms, she continued to drink.

I have been talking to her on the telephone daily and trying to be supportive of her anxiety. Yesterday, I started questioning her further about her drinking. That is when she admitted the extent of her drinking. This morning I drove her to a healthcare facility that specializes in detoxification and rehab.

I understand that she will receive Librium to help with symptoms of withdrawal. I understand that they will taper the Librium over her length of stay.

My questions:

How long does the detox period usually last? The nurse mentioned up to seven days. She is not allowed to have visitors during detox. I understand this but am extremely worried about her health. She has not eaten in two weeks, has had weightless surgery several years ago, is dehydrated, has dry heaves, diarrhea, and an elevated heart rate. I am worried that she is so malnourished and her heart rate is not stable and that she could potentially be in a life-threatening situation during detox. This facility does not use IVs. She will be receiving no IV fluids. They can transfer her to a hospital if they feel she is medically unstable but they haven't.

What happens after detox? What about potential addiction to benzodiazepines after detox? Nobody in their right mind would prescribe these afterward to an alcoholic, would they? I know they are useful during withdrawal but not for the long-term, correct?

I know it is beyond my control but I am very worried about her health and her ability to abstain from alcohol after detox. Other than alcohol, she currently does not use any other drugs or toxic substances. My main concerns are what happens during the detox period and the initial time afterward.

embraced2000

if your sis is in a detox facility, she is probably in very good hands. these folks know their stuff.

my xah was in numerous detox centers and I found them all to be very competent. they knew the risks and acted accordingly.

I always felt very secure and like the weight of the world was off from my shoulders when my xah went to detox because I knew he was alive and safe. during these stays, I felt free and hopeful. I also felt this same freedom when he was in jail....at least he was safe from himself.

I hope your sis does well.

Taking5

7 days isn't long enough to get addicted to a benzo particularly if they taper her. She is in a great place. If she needs more serious help they will take her to the hospital. You have gone above and beyond the call of duty, so to speak.

My detox at the hospital lasted 6 days. My appetite came back on day 4. I did not get a script for benzos when I left.

If she can go to rehab afterwards, that would be ideal. If not, I recommend AA meetings. However is she serious about quitting? Or does she just want to feel better?

bigsombrero

I went to detox after hiding my drinking in a similar fashion. I was there for 2-3 days, it was mainly a very dull experience. From what I remember, they were just trying their best to get us back to normal: sleeping pills were administered. I was very drowsy most of the time and it's all a blur. We were definitely fed, they made sure of that, and our health was monitored and improved. I went to rehab after that and stayed for 21 days or so, that was real work and it was a great experience.

Your sister is in good hands, the doctors and specialists in detox will take care of her, make sure she's healthy. They will feed her, monitor how she's doing, etc. This is a very careful process and they won't let anything bad happen, in fact they're going to help her a great deal. Don't worry, she'll be okay.

Eddiebuckle

We cannot give medical advice here on SR, but I can tell you my experience in detox. I was in for three days, during which they monitored my heart rate & blood pressure initially on the hour, then six times a day, then twice a day. If these folks are reputable and experienced in detox, they are familiar with the process. Dehydration, dry heaves, diarrhea, and elevated heart rate are pretty common - that's the consequence of heavy drinking and is par for the course in a detox patient.

Unless you have reason to believe that these folks are incompetent, trust the process.

Hopeworks

The benzos do help in the detox process as they act on the same part of the brain as alcohol and no...she should not be prescribed benzos post detox.

Have you discussed your concerns with the rehab? If you let them know that you want her taken to the hospital at the first sign of trouble with dehydration etc... that should do the trick. Immortalize any conversations with a follow up email... ask if you can be updated with the nurses even if you can't visit.

Check the rep of the rehab... most do know what they are doing but she sounds like a pretty serious case potentially.

Keep us posted...

PlentyGood

embraced2000 and Take5, thank you very much for your responses.

Yes, I imagine she is in very good hands right now. I can't help but to worry for her. This is her first time in detox. Her first time she has admitted to anyone the extent of her drinking and dependence on alcohol. I am happy that she is detoxing but so very worried for her and for her life after detox.

However is she serious about quitting? Or does she just want to feel better?

This is a very good question and I am really not sure. She wants desperately to feel better and to be "normal". When the nurse said that she was going to give her something to calm her down (her alcohol level was too high this morning to start Librium right away) she lit up and was so relieved. I know she wants immediate relief. I am not sure if she is serious about quitting. I mentioned AA and she is pretty much against it because she does not believe in a higher power and does not believe in 12-step programs. She does have an open mind and maybe she will attend.

PlentyGood

Eddibuckle, thank you very much.

PlentyGood

bigsombrero and HopeWorks, thank you. I am going to call and check in tomorrow. I do know if there is any change in status they will contact me because I am on her contact list.

RollTide

From my experience with my XAH they detox them for several days. She is exactly where she needs to be as it would be dangerous for her to do this alone. My XAH also took that drug at rehab.

My XAH was in rehab for 30 days the first time. They continually go to classes, counseling, etc. There was a time on Sunday afternoons that I could visit. And toward the end of his 30 days there were three days where they bring family in and have classes for them.

Basically they dry them out and educate them and give them tools to help them in their daily lives. The rest is up to them.

Mango blast

Is she already scheduled for rehab? Detox is to sober up and stabilize. Rehab is to start learning about the disease and tools for learning how to live sober.

Alcoholism is a chronic progressive physical disease that effects the brain and the body. Getting sober and being in recovery are two very different things. Without active recovery, being sober becomes a temporary state.

Stop by an Alanon meeting. Getting through the door is the hardest part. Lots of good people have the disease of alcoholism and lots of good people love them and are at Alanon. It's for us, for our recovery.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

SoaringSpirits

I thought I'd throw this out there since you said your sister had weight loss surgery a few years ago. There are some recent studies suggesting people who've had bariatric surgery may be at higher risk for developing alcoholism. Might be something for your sister to look into.

After Bariatric Surgery, Alcohol Abuse More Likely

PlentyGood

Thank you very much. I do know that detox is not rehab or recovery. I do hope she will be able to get and stay sober.

It is amazing to me that I did not know this has been going on for years. I didn't know how bad it was. Yes, there were signs (some isolation, lethargy, lack of a sparkle that she usually had, etc.,) but she always blamed it on insomnia, stress, and anxiety.

I'm also aware of the bariatric weight loss study. Thank you SoaringSpirits.

I'm really disappointed. I don't care how stressful she thinks her life is or whatever excuses she uses to drink. She isn't a chronic complainer or whiner but she never had healthy coping skills. She can get bogged down in her self-pity (work stress, child with a disability, single mom, etc.) and thinks nobody else has it as bad. I'm going to tell her I don't want to hear how hard her life is anymore. Not sure if that is a good idea or not but I don't want to enable her and I am not going to be dragged down with her. I'm pretty good at not coddling her already.

I cannot control or determine what she will do after detox. I just don't want to do or say the wrong things.

Florence

Hey, be kind to yourself. I lived with, slept next to, and co-parented with my STBXAH for four years before I realized he was drinking every day to drunkenness. Alcoholism is cunning and baffling, and alcoholics become very good at lying, deflecting, and covering their tracks.

Well, don't worry too hard about it. There's nothing you can say or do to make her drink. She's going to have to quit if she wants a good life, whether or not you or anyone else always treats her perfectly and says all the right things all the time.