how do I connect
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Darlington
Posts: 175
how do I connect
Hiya my husband went to rehab on Friday. I don't know why but I just have a feeling he isn't going to complete it. I feel awful for writing that and it may be preparing myself for the next blow. My problem is I really want to work on me I miss him terribly and I'm trying to connect with a higher power but it just won't click. I feel I'm on my own in this. Any similar stories or help is appreciated. I want to hand him over I just don't know who too and want to feel at peace with myself. Thanks
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
What helped me most was my 12-step CoDA meetings. It took time and a couple of steps before I was ready to truly hand it all over to God, but once I did my life changed forever.
While he is at rehab working on his recovery, why not use this opportunity to work on your and try a meeting, do some recovery reading, and just take time to figure out what YOU want for your future.
Worrying about tomorrow is wasted energy. He will finish his program or he will not. But the important thing is for you to begin yours and find some peace in your life...no matter what his choices are.
My prayers go out for both of you, this must be an unsettling time.
Hugs
While he is at rehab working on his recovery, why not use this opportunity to work on your and try a meeting, do some recovery reading, and just take time to figure out what YOU want for your future.
Worrying about tomorrow is wasted energy. He will finish his program or he will not. But the important thing is for you to begin yours and find some peace in your life...no matter what his choices are.
My prayers go out for both of you, this must be an unsettling time.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
I can understand you not feeling confident... its an uneasy feeling when we let go of trying to control the addict in our lives. That takes practice!
The serenity prayer helps me. I think that the CoDa meetings Ann mentioned sound interesting too.
You don't have to really have a clear idea of who or what you are turning your hubby over to. Just let go of the feeling that you have to fix him. Let that weighty responsibility go ...and work on healing yourself.
best wishes,
chicory
The serenity prayer helps me. I think that the CoDa meetings Ann mentioned sound interesting too.
You don't have to really have a clear idea of who or what you are turning your hubby over to. Just let go of the feeling that you have to fix him. Let that weighty responsibility go ...and work on healing yourself.
best wishes,
chicory
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: TX
Posts: 731
I ask myself "what do I need to be doing today?" When I start focusing on what I SHOULD be doing...it's real easy to start beating myself up in not getting started or focused.
Just make a plan to do something...a meeting; buying a book (Alanon; Codpendent no More; etc and go for it)
Just make a plan to do something...a meeting; buying a book (Alanon; Codpendent no More; etc and go for it)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 76
when I started going to Nar Anon, I had a hard time with the idea of a higher power. Actually, now that I haven't been in quite a while, I'm back in that same place.
It was hard for me to accept that I could put my life into the hands of some greater being; Where has this greater power been this whole time? My life is completely out of control (because I let it get that way, but still). The concept of God was hard for me to swallow- It doesn't always sit with me in a comfortable way.
I read something in the NarAnon book that said to think of your higher power as whatever makes you comfortable. It can be God, it can be a sense of warmth, a ray of sunshine- literally whatever you want it to be. I like to speak to the universe when I am feeling out of control- like their is some universal system that will listen and take into account these unmanageable items in my life and try to balance them in some way. Or at the very least, keep me at peace with them until I can figure out how to do it myself.
Worrying about my SO's addiction leaves me drained and uncomfortable. It is isolating- I've literally backed myself into a corner where I have no one to reach out to. It is humiliating to admit that I've let myself be lied to over and over. But the idea of having the entire universe to talk to, to sort out my rushing thoughts, is amazing.
Hoping you find some peace and quiet soon. I know it is hard to sit, worry and wonder.
It was hard for me to accept that I could put my life into the hands of some greater being; Where has this greater power been this whole time? My life is completely out of control (because I let it get that way, but still). The concept of God was hard for me to swallow- It doesn't always sit with me in a comfortable way.
I read something in the NarAnon book that said to think of your higher power as whatever makes you comfortable. It can be God, it can be a sense of warmth, a ray of sunshine- literally whatever you want it to be. I like to speak to the universe when I am feeling out of control- like their is some universal system that will listen and take into account these unmanageable items in my life and try to balance them in some way. Or at the very least, keep me at peace with them until I can figure out how to do it myself.
Worrying about my SO's addiction leaves me drained and uncomfortable. It is isolating- I've literally backed myself into a corner where I have no one to reach out to. It is humiliating to admit that I've let myself be lied to over and over. But the idea of having the entire universe to talk to, to sort out my rushing thoughts, is amazing.
Hoping you find some peace and quiet soon. I know it is hard to sit, worry and wonder.
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