99luftballons

Hello,

I was hoping someone experienced with the symptoms of alcoholism could give me some advice here. For the past 7 months or so my mother (66, living alone) has been drinking very heavily and functioning poorly. I'm not sure if her behaviour can completely be explained by the drinking or if there's another underlying cognitive dysfunction (onset of dementia, traumatic brain injury after several bad falls, etc.).

The symptoms:

• Generally conversing in an irrational/incoherent way
• Calling my grandmother in her 90s every day, up to 10 times a day, often speaking incoherently and sometimes forgetting she'd called earlier. Often calling for trivial reasons (e.g., "I'm making a cup of tea" -- "I've made the cup of tea").
• Making up events - calling my grandmother to say she's happy my brother's fiancée has given birth (never happened)
• My grandma was so shocked after hearing that that she became sick and had to spend the night in hospital, and when she told my mother about it she denied it and didn't seem overly concerned about my grandmother's welfare, whereas in the past she'd have been absolutely horrified
• Sometimes has no sense of time - e.g. calling at 5pm and thinking it's 11am or so, or getting the day of the week wrong
• Sleeping throughout the day or at odd hours
• Not taking care of her cat's health, letting the cat to go to the toilet anywhere in the house, not cleaning up after it
• Living for months in a house with a bad stench of cat urine
• Letting letters and newspapers pile up in the mailbox
• Saying she'll attend important family events, then not showing up
• Acting strangely in person - I've visited a few times and she would talk relatively coherently (wasn't sure if she was intoxicated) but then say "I'm going to bed now" and repetitively go to her room for five minutes, return and repeat "I'm going to bed now" after talking for five minutes
• Withdrawing from friends and family, avoiding the doctor/oncologist (she has breast cancer in remission), not really doing anything with her day - isolating herself at home
  

Sometimes she can talk relatively coherently, and for a week last month she seemed 90% her old self. It seems strange that at times she can seem almost okay.

I visited her on Saturday and she was on the floor, incoherent with a bloody trail on the carpet leading up to her caused by rectal bleeding from ulcers that she hadn't sought medical attention for (despite the fact that they most likely would have been causing pain prior to the bleeding). She's in the ICU now in a stable condition, and this finally seems like a point where we can try to get proper care for her. In the past she's refused any sort of treatment and hasn't wanted people to visit her.

Does this seem like alcoholism, or could there be something more going on? A lot of the behaviour seems completely irrational, and I'd have thought even severe alcoholics would be more on the ball... I really don't know though.

Thanks for any advice (and feel free to ask if you need more info)

ladyscribbler

My ex is an alcoholic with several TBIs from Iraq. He exhibits a lot of this behavior (he's 32).
Irrational and incoherent conversations. Repeating behaviors and conversations, not remembering that he's already said or done something several times. Losing track of time- thinking someone has been gone all night and that 12 hours have passed when it's only been 2. Not sure how he's doing with cleaning, etc. since I no longer live there. The last time I saw him he'd been on a three month bender and was living in filth, drinking himself into a blackout every day.
Sounds like a combination of things might be going on with your mom. Dementia and TBIs are treatable conditions, but the person has to be sober for those treatments to work. Make sure her docs know about the drinking. Since she is elderly, she might be eligible for help from adult protective services since she no longer seems capable of caring for herself.
So sorry. I know how hard it is to watch someone in fragile health deliberately destroy themselves with alcohol. Sending hugs and strength your way.

redatlanta

Certainly is sounds like alcoholism, and it also sounds like a mental disorder, Could be either, could be both. I would inform her doctors of what you suspect and let them know about her behavior.

SeriousKarma

Give me a second while a climb to the top of the nearest mountain and scream this from my bullhorn:

Just like Ladyscribbler, my husband suffered a TBI in Iraq. This on top of an already existing alcohol addiction. The people treating him didn't know about the alcohol, and because of that I feel a lot of time was wasted in terms of treatment.

Refiner

My sister, an alcoholic, eventually got brain damage from so many falls (due to being drunk) and hitting her head. I'm sure she's got all of the above going on but most likely all caused by the drinking.

PippiLngstockng

My 74-year-old father exhibits similar behavior. To my knowledge he has never been a drinker. But he has dementia.

My XAH has a milder set of similar behaviors, and still holds down a sophisticated job.

I often note their similarities, even though one is obviously off his rocker and the others seems fine most days to the outside world.

I'd think your mother needs to be in some kind of rehab/assisted living program since she can't take care of herself.

My sympathies to you. I feel as though I no longer have a father and I lost my husband to alcoholism. They are more or less gone. I hope that you have support to help you through this time.

anykey

That is dementia! (tho drinking may also factor into it)

What you need to watch for is that she does not start calling 911 for no reasons.

You have to take measures for that cat. It is entirely possibly she is drinking too much- but my hunch is the dementia.

We went thru this with my grandmother. She began to call the police - she did so much I told her she better stop or "they" will put you in a home. She thought cars would drive by the house and flash the car lights. She thought someone was playing a record player in her cellar.

Get her in to see the dr. I have a friend age 52 who is starting with dementia. So 66 is not too young.

You might be able to get her an antibuse rx.

My gram told us she did not want to be on "crazy pills". One day I seen a link in our newspaper- woman lost does not know who she is. Sure enough it was gram. My uncle went over there every day to make sure she took her pills. Expect her to fake like she took them but did not.

Most of all- get that cat filth taken care of.