Mother's Day - A never ending reason to stay sober
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 832
Mother's Day - A never ending reason to stay sober
Good Morning SRF -
It's Mother's Day weekend. And we all have our reasons to stay sober. Sometimes, it's finding that one reason that puts us over the edge as to why we have to. For our children, for our jobs, for our safety, for our health. And when I think of an example of the truest form of love that God can give us, it's definitely the love of our Mothers.
In all my attempts for sobriety, I always thought back to my Mom, and how she would be mortified that the youngest and only girl was like the bookend to my oldest brother who, is now 13 years sober, has an addiction to alcohol. How horribly it would break her heart to know her "little girl" (yes, at 43 I'm still the "baby" - never grow out of that, I guess)- to know that yes, she's an alcoholic. I know Mom knows that I drink, but she has no idea to the extent. Closet drinker with the booze. And sometimes openly, but made sure I had more to sip behind the scenes.
What I was missing when I would think about my Mom, is that I needed one more piece to the puzzle, one more tool in my toolbox. It was finding that method that put the icing on the cake. For me it was AA, and opening up to another alcoholic, which turned out to be my brother that I have looked up to for years. I found a different approach thank you to all the wonderful folks here that have continued to give their support, despite all my attempts that didn't work. All my appearances and then disappearances.
I've acquired three months at the most in the past, and right now I'm going on five weeks. Now this isn't five months or five years, and I know I can't play roulette, and never can. But, I also know that I love my family and I'm blessed with some very special friends, that as time goes on when they see I'm not drinking, I know they won't question it beyond the fact that I quit for my own personal health reasons (and that was always my big scare, too). They are right here, you don't have to tell the world and everyone you know it's because you are an alcoholic if you don't feel comfortable doing that. Most people that care about you, won't push the issue when you say, I'm not drinking right now (and right now, can be forever, but no need to look that far ahead, just enjoy each day you get through).
So for the past five weeks of sobriety, there are a lot of reasons for me to be grateful and sober. And there are so many people I would love to thank. But, even though my Mom knows not of my journey which is okay. (She has enough stress taking care of my aging Dad). In my heart I thank my Mom with a smile. If the thoughts of her and all the love she's given me over the years didn't enter my mind, I'm really not sure I would have gotten this far.
I have found in not drinking, that it's also very rewarding that the end result is not just yourself but how it has a positive impact on others.
Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms that are on this sober journey (this includes Pet Moms, too - I'm one of them!). Never give up. Always find a reason and a method to stop - there are so many options out there, and finding a way that works for you is crucial. There are lots of suggestions from others, but if it doesn't work for you - try something else. Your families will thank you, some even not knowing of your problem. But, they will see a change for whatever reason that they don't know of, and it will bring them happiness you can never imagine.
Stay strong to those just starting, never quit, and remember your friends here. Never feel like a failure - someone mentioned here, that you are only a failure if you give up.
Remember as GrtGrandpa told me - God is stronger than any cravings I can have. He's right. Love to all the Moms this weekend - bring them close to your heart and celebrate what being a Mom is to you, what it means to your families, and what your Moms mean to you. They are a gift, and so are you!
It's Mother's Day weekend. And we all have our reasons to stay sober. Sometimes, it's finding that one reason that puts us over the edge as to why we have to. For our children, for our jobs, for our safety, for our health. And when I think of an example of the truest form of love that God can give us, it's definitely the love of our Mothers.
In all my attempts for sobriety, I always thought back to my Mom, and how she would be mortified that the youngest and only girl was like the bookend to my oldest brother who, is now 13 years sober, has an addiction to alcohol. How horribly it would break her heart to know her "little girl" (yes, at 43 I'm still the "baby" - never grow out of that, I guess)- to know that yes, she's an alcoholic. I know Mom knows that I drink, but she has no idea to the extent. Closet drinker with the booze. And sometimes openly, but made sure I had more to sip behind the scenes.
What I was missing when I would think about my Mom, is that I needed one more piece to the puzzle, one more tool in my toolbox. It was finding that method that put the icing on the cake. For me it was AA, and opening up to another alcoholic, which turned out to be my brother that I have looked up to for years. I found a different approach thank you to all the wonderful folks here that have continued to give their support, despite all my attempts that didn't work. All my appearances and then disappearances.
I've acquired three months at the most in the past, and right now I'm going on five weeks. Now this isn't five months or five years, and I know I can't play roulette, and never can. But, I also know that I love my family and I'm blessed with some very special friends, that as time goes on when they see I'm not drinking, I know they won't question it beyond the fact that I quit for my own personal health reasons (and that was always my big scare, too). They are right here, you don't have to tell the world and everyone you know it's because you are an alcoholic if you don't feel comfortable doing that. Most people that care about you, won't push the issue when you say, I'm not drinking right now (and right now, can be forever, but no need to look that far ahead, just enjoy each day you get through).
So for the past five weeks of sobriety, there are a lot of reasons for me to be grateful and sober. And there are so many people I would love to thank. But, even though my Mom knows not of my journey which is okay. (She has enough stress taking care of my aging Dad). In my heart I thank my Mom with a smile. If the thoughts of her and all the love she's given me over the years didn't enter my mind, I'm really not sure I would have gotten this far.
I have found in not drinking, that it's also very rewarding that the end result is not just yourself but how it has a positive impact on others.
Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms that are on this sober journey (this includes Pet Moms, too - I'm one of them!). Never give up. Always find a reason and a method to stop - there are so many options out there, and finding a way that works for you is crucial. There are lots of suggestions from others, but if it doesn't work for you - try something else. Your families will thank you, some even not knowing of your problem. But, they will see a change for whatever reason that they don't know of, and it will bring them happiness you can never imagine.
Stay strong to those just starting, never quit, and remember your friends here. Never feel like a failure - someone mentioned here, that you are only a failure if you give up.
Remember as GrtGrandpa told me - God is stronger than any cravings I can have. He's right. Love to all the Moms this weekend - bring them close to your heart and celebrate what being a Mom is to you, what it means to your families, and what your Moms mean to you. They are a gift, and so are you!
Stand and Be True
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Scotland
Posts: 120
Mothers Day has been and gone in the UK but regardless I find my mother one of the biggest factors in maintaining my sobriety.
She has a lot to deal with without me. A lot. Far beyond what seems necessary or fair, but most of that I can't control. What I can control is me. I know how much she worries about me. The stress and worry I put her through when I was drinking must have been awful and I feel terrible about. The constant dissapointments, not to mention watching your child suffer so badly in front of your eyes. It hurts me to think about it.
She still worries about me of course, like any parent. Not without reason I might add. I'm still a long way from having my life sorted out. But I don't drink. I'm moving in the right direction. I want to make her proud of me. She deserves that, at the very least.
Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there. Yous are the best.
She has a lot to deal with without me. A lot. Far beyond what seems necessary or fair, but most of that I can't control. What I can control is me. I know how much she worries about me. The stress and worry I put her through when I was drinking must have been awful and I feel terrible about. The constant dissapointments, not to mention watching your child suffer so badly in front of your eyes. It hurts me to think about it.
She still worries about me of course, like any parent. Not without reason I might add. I'm still a long way from having my life sorted out. But I don't drink. I'm moving in the right direction. I want to make her proud of me. She deserves that, at the very least.
Happy Mother's Day to all you mothers out there. Yous are the best.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Great post, Marjoram. I was just thinking about my mom, who I lost in 2007, an how she didn't get to see me sober. Worse than that, in her final weeks of hospice, I was stealing her pain Meds. Drinking and snorting oxy--my default grieving mode.
I cringe in shame thinking about it.
Three years later I got clean and sober. No chance to make amends...except to stay clean and sober.
To all those out there struggling with recovery, if you have your mom, give her the gift of your sobriety.
I cringe in shame thinking about it.
Three years later I got clean and sober. No chance to make amends...except to stay clean and sober.
To all those out there struggling with recovery, if you have your mom, give her the gift of your sobriety.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Being Mom's caretaker was one of the main reasons I quit drinking. She deserved a sober me and got that for the last year and a half and I'm so glad for that. She just passed away two weeks ago, so this Mother's Day will be really hard.
Happy Mother's Day to all-whether you are a mom, or still have your mom, or are missing your mom...
Happy Mother's Day to all-whether you are a mom, or still have your mom, or are missing your mom...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 832
Oh FreeFall, I am so sorry for your loss. Bless your heart for being your Mom's caretaker. I'm sure she appreciated everything you did for - especially attaining sobriety.
People that care for aging or sick parents are angels on earth. You are an inspiration for your sobriety and for taking care of your Mom.
People that care for aging or sick parents are angels on earth. You are an inspiration for your sobriety and for taking care of your Mom.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Michigan
Posts: 832
I saw my Mom today and just looking into her eyes I could see she senses something has changed for the better. She doesn't know how bad I was, but it sure is nice to see that she can see the good that is happening. She doesn't have to say a word.
Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
I'm so glad your Mom is aware of the positive things happening. She may know more than you think and is probably very proud of you!!
Thanks too for remembering us "pet moms". I am a mom to very very many kitties. I plan to hang out with them tomorrow
Enjoy your day M, and congrats on 5 weeks!!
Thanks too for remembering us "pet moms". I am a mom to very very many kitties. I plan to hang out with them tomorrow
Enjoy your day M, and congrats on 5 weeks!!
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