MIRecovery

Today I was caught in a traffic jam on the interstate. It just so happened that a state police car was next to me one lane over. First I would creep by him and then him by me.

It brought back a flood of emotions from the end of my drinking. Everyday was the same. Get out of work. Buy a fifth of vodka pour half it into a soda glass and drink it on the way home through a straw.

I was always terrified that I would get pulled over and my drunk driving would come to it's end along with my marriage and career not to mention hurting or killing someone.

Being next to that police cruiser brought back memories of the hopeless I lived for the last four years. The fear, shame, and guilt consumed me but I kept doing it.

Then I realized I am not guilty of anything and am so thankful I'm not in the hell I called life during my drinking

LBrain

I know what you mean. I know what you mean.

topspin

What a great feeling !

For years I was always wondering if my plates had expired (yet) again, or my registration , had once again lapsed because I forgotten one more time to pay my Insurance policy.

That , and driving dirty about 90% of the time , it took me the longest time to acclimate to driving without my heart racing if the Po Po was within a city block out on the road.

Grateful not to have to play that kind off game anymore. ,....just a nerve wracking way to live.

Whenever I got to where I was going , it took 3 or 4 drinks just to calm down,
.
What a game my addiction had me playing , ....embarrassing , when I think of it.

Dollyangel17

I hear that!!! I usually had nips of brandy in the console, and waiting for times nobody was driving next to me on the highway to take a sip...exit ramps were my favorite!

Just the sight of a cop car would send me into a panic! Yep...life is sooooo much better now!

Congrats!

Bruce292

Our memories are all stored away. Try as we might we can't erase them though there are certainly some events I wish I could. I get the same feeling when I see the police on the highway. But now I think "I'm so clean it's ridiculous". They may pull me over for driving too fast but not for drinking and/or the array of drugs I used to consume. Remember who you are not who you were.

FreeFall

I look at police in a whole different way now. It's SO much better than that feeling of dread when you dodged a bullet and knew had they stopped you life as you knew it would come to a screaming halt. I never want that feeling again.

soberclover

It is nice to be sober and not have to worry about so many of those type of things! For me, I never had a healthy fear of the police as I worked with so many of them. What I DO have an appreciation for is the people who work on the Ambulance as well as in the Emergency Room. Those were the people who had to intervene at the end of my drinking. I have a HUGE appreciation now for what they do