Tetra

I'm over 6 months sober.

Today I had a review appointment with my addiction counsellor. He is really busy these days. There used to be two other counsellors plus a receptionist there but now due to cutbacks, he seems to be working on his own.

I called to the office and knocked on the door. No answer. I didn't have my phone. Was wondering what to do. Eventually a handyman turned up and he let me in.

I could hear my counsellor having a private conversation with some woman. She was crying and talking about her husband, how he went on a work trip to the States and then he asked her for an open marriage and she started drinking. I felt that I shouldn't be able to hear all this private stuff. I was wondering if I should knock or what. Eventually a nurse came over to me and asked if was okay. My counsellor heard me and came out and asked if it was alright if we rescheduled for Monday. I said fine and left.

When I came out my father was absolutely white faced. He said what took you so long? I explained the situation and he said "oh I thought maybe he gave you a breathalyser and you failed and that's why you were so long".

Now I feel really bad. I am trying my best here. What have I done to my poor parents?

whiskeyman

You keep moving forward. You are doing amazing.

Show your sobriety by example

SoberLeigh

Parents are parents no matter how old their children are or become. The relationship changes and evolves over time as is its natural course but time cannot change the bond between parent and child and the love, protection and concern that will always exist.

I remember thinking when my children were babies, toddlers, teenagers that when they were grown and independent that I wouldn't worry so much. Ha, was I ever wrong - they only bring more people into the mix to worry about (beautiful daughter-in-laws, wonderful son-in-laws, incredible grand babies, extended families). But it is all so very good; the love and joy that they all bring far outweighs the worry. But a parent will always worry - they simply can't stop.

Croissant

I think our loved ones say things without thinking how it comes out. But also too, there is no way for them to know how committed we are to sobriety until we get in there and do it.

Anna

Try to distance yourself from your parents comments. When I was in early recovery, I really, really had to be careful who I listened to because I was a mess and so very vulnerable. Focus on you and that you're doing your best.

FeenixxRising

Tetra, it's time for you to stop focusing on the negatives. You've been doing well, please be proud of yourself. Look to the future, not the past. What's done is done, and you can't change what's happened, so feeling bad or guilty about your past certainly won't rewrite history. However, time is on you side, and with time all wounds will mend.

PurpleKnight

YOU know you've done nothing wrong, keep pushing through Tetra, there will always be things said in all areas of life, that we just need to ignore and keep focusing on that we are doing the right things and trying our best!!

Verte

Tetra you have given them the opportunity to love someone more than they have ever loved anything before in their lifetime. You are loved

lunar

Tetra, six months is OUTSTANDING!
Last time I experienced it was in 1992. (wow, that was frightening to even type)
You can't expect parents to understand your situation, so don't let it give you anxiety.
Whether they are family members, friends, acquaintances or outright strangers,
anyone who hasn't lived with alcoholism simply cannot fully understand.
No magic wands available here. It takes time and effort.
Continue to move forward, you're a true inspiration to all of us!

Tamerua

You're doing great. Let that slip away and prove to them how committed you are.

Tetra

Thank you all for understanding.

I'm very stressed today. I feel like people are just waiting...

I had a cheeseburger, fries and a leftover Easter egg when I got home this evening...thought I was gonna barf. Then I had salad and some green tea and felt surprisingly better.

My Grandmother needs surgery for gallstones but the consultant said he is not too happy about doing it unless she gains at least four pounds first but he would see what the anesthesiologist/anaesthetist (?) says. She's very worried about this.

My dad is also looking very stressed these days and I am doing my best to try to lighten the load but it's so hard sometimes.

I was supposed to be on day three of reducing sugar consumption (I read an article about how bad it is) but that went completely out the window.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day x

biminiblue

Tetra, it sounds like you are putting an awful lot of pressure on yourself.

Your grandma having health issues is worrisome, but all you can do is be loving and caring.
Your Dad can handle his own moods. He is an adult, let him worry about his moods.

Food. Eating enough food is just as important as not eating too much. While too much sugar is not a good thing, it isn't of itself a "bad" food. It is meant to be used sparingly, that's all. Assigning "good" or "bad" values to food is a slippery slope and especially for someone who is prone to addictive thinking. That is often how eating disorders take hold.

Dee74

You're doing everything right now Tetra - don't forget that

D